staple me thin

Hello everyone, My name is Shari Ratkovich. I live in Napa California. I started my sleeve journey on July 19, 2011. My first weigh in was 226. I went to South San Francisco, Ca. Kaiser hospital. I had my surgery on January 9th 2012. I was in the hospital from Monday morning to Thursday at around 12:00. I am now 5 months out. My entire life has changed. But not for the better yet. I am waiting for that day to come. I need support. I still do not feel well. I have not been a bit excited or happy with my weight loss. I just don't care yet. I started surgery day at 211 and I am now at 167. I was a size 18W and I am now a 12. I have been overweight my entire life. Well almost my entire life. There have been periods where I have lost weight only to gain it all back and more. I just wonder if anyone out there is going through the same things I am? I am sad when I am hungry and want something and can only eat 3 or 4 bite before the tightness happens in my chest and I know it is time to quit. Well most of the last 5 months i have not quit in time, that is getting better. I am either empty and weak or full and uncomfortable. I am in a support group and have been through out my journey. Helps some but everyone else seems to be doing better with the greiving the food. I still say to myself, did I really do this. I am not happy that I did.
I want to be happy about this. I know I was not prepared for this, I did not feel desparate enough I guess. I did not have to many health issues, just high blood pressure and high chloestrol. Pre diabities numbers. I did not have reasons other than being vain and wanting to feel better and be healthier. Is there anyone out there who can relate to my story, please talk to me. I am a newbie and I want to be glad i did this. I have heard sometimes it takes 6 months to a year and if I know that for sure I can hang, but I am just so tired of feeling bad, and being sad I can not eat anymore. Scarey to me to have these thoughts when most of the time I am not hungry I just miss eating so much. Help, thank you all. God Bless you.