traute

Hello, my name is Traute and I started my weight loss journey when I reached 375 pounds. My sleeve surgery was on February 25, 2009. Today I am 270 and feel alot better than I did 100 pounds ago, however I have figured out a way to eat around my sleeve. I found out that I can eat alot popcorn giving me that feeling of binging again - the popcorn simply dissolves. I found out that I can drink Frozen Cokes (slurpees where I live) - ok so I go to the bathroom alot. I eat chocolate bars - no problems. I can have 1 piece of pizza and be full. I can eat 1 scrambled egg with cheese with no problem. If I drink milk or Protein shakes too fast, I get nauseous. Needless to say, I have lost weight and have maintained my 100 pound loss but I am tired of being stuck. I eat all the wrong foods and I am going no where. I know I am addicted to food but I dont know how to get out of it. And I am afraid to go to a food support group because I am not a very social person. Back in April 2010 I visited my weight loss surgeon because I had developed a hernia right above my belly button. I thought seeing him was the right thing to do since I had trusted him once before and all went fine. However, after visiting him and hearing I am dissappointed with your weight loss, I was so ashamed of my actions. He was right, I fell off the wagon and didnt get back up. I only found a way around my weight loss surgery. Ya I lost weight but I didnt complete my journey and change the way I eat. I feel so ashamed and discouraged in the same breath. Because I was so big, I now have a saggy stomach (apron) and saggy legs, and giant sagging arms. Yes I am lighter, but my body image didnt change, it just jiggles more - ALOT MORE. Im crying now typing this - I think my body image is what is hurting me the most. I feel that why should I bother, my sagging skin is still going to be there why should I bother. I am reaching out to strangers, I dont know what to do to fix myself. :blushing: Traute