gowalking

Was shopping tonight to supplement my work wardrobe. Dresses were half price so I looked there instead of more slacks/blouses. I tried on a dark blue dress that was way more form fitting than I'm used to but I thought it looked pretty good. It came with a shrug-like top and I wasn't sure if it looked OK because it seemed a little big so I asked the young woman in the dressing room next to me for her opinion. She took one look and told me the dark color did nothing for me, nor did all the material used for the coverup. She said to me that it made me look old and that I had a lovely figure so why would I want to hide it? I don't see it...I swear I don't. All I see are the things I don't like about my body, and obviously no one else sees those things. I was morbidly obese a year and a half ago and I'm not someone who has a lovely figure. Not in my head at least. I'm struggling so much with this my friends. I wish I could see what everyone else sees. Sometimes I see a glimmer of it...usually because I don't realize it's me...you know...a quick glance in a mirror or passing a plate glass window and catching myself in the corner of my eye. When am I going to revel in my success? I am enjoying the mobility that has returned to me...but I can't seem to enjoy the pleasure of my new smaller body. I worry that I may never be comfortable in my own skin....

Oh brother...I have sciatica pain so I know what you're going through. Here's hoping this resolves quickly.

Learn to swim because Water exercise is better for you than anything. It was the only exercise I could do before WLS and hip replacement and now that I'm half my size and have two new hips, it's still the best exercise there is. I recommend it highly.

Yes and yes. I have the same struggle and I see a therapist because I am also too hard on myself and only find fault with how I look. I am not comfortable in my new body and still feel fat. I worry that I will sabotage myself so I am working with this therapist to find the root cause of my body image issues so I can embrace my new self, both with the improvements I've made and the work in progress I still feel I am. Good luck to you..hope you get the help you need.

Be strong!! You can do it!

I never order clothes online for the same reason...sizing is all over the place. For a time, I was wearing size 14 jeans and tops anywhere from small to XL depending on the cut/style. I have noticed though that as I go into smaller sizes, they start to stabilize. I'm in size 6 or 8 jeans now and mostly medium tops. But again..I wouldn't presume to buy anything without trying on first.

My forum name is gowalking. I chose it because when I started this journey, I was looking at living the rest of my life in a wheelchair. I have joint degeneration and needed my hips replaced and no one would guarantee a good outcome unless I lost a significant amount of weight. I lost 70 lbs. and scheduled the surgery. It was brutal and the recovery long and difficult but nearly a year later, I am able to walk unassisted and nearly normally. I have some residual issues but they are nothing compared to where I was just a short 18 months ago. Almost two years ago, I was on a cruise and it was a small ship. I could barely navigate it and I never got off the ship at any of the ports since it was so hard for me to move. Two weeks ago, I was on a cruise on one of the biggest ships out there and was able to go anywhere I wanted both on and off the ship. I shopped for hours, went snorkeling and diving, I fit anywhere and everywhere. It is truly miraculous being able to say that I've gotten my life back. Next spring, I'll check something off my bucket list...something I though I'd never be able to do. My sister and I are going to plan a trip to China. I think that when I get my first glimpse of the Forbidden City, I might just start bawling like a baby. None of this would have been possible without the band and I am more grateful than I can ever express in just words. Nice topic...thanks for letting me post.

I'm half the size I was when I started this journey and I see a therapist to help me with my body image issues...which are largely dictated by how others act(ed) towards me. I get compliments and don't quite know how to handle them...I've been called the 'S' word...skinny...and it makes me very uncomfortable. I often feel like I'm pretending to be a thin person because in my head, I'm still fat. I have become very aware that people are nicer to me now. Not that they were mean before, but I'm talking about the guy on the plane who helps me to put my suitcase in the overhead...or the men who hold the door, or let me get off the elevator first. Those are fairly new experiences. I'm still a work in progress. I'm just now starting to look people in the eye instead of always looking down. I do dress nicer, I wear makeup, do my hair, nails, etc. I wasn't a slob before...not at all. But I didn't do anything special either. This really is pretty new territory for me and I'm still learning how to navigate it in this smaller body. I even find myself looking with disgust at other large people and I stop myself right away. God...I used to be that person...I should have nothing but compassion and yet I don't always. Terrible, right? Any other addiction is hidden from people till they get to know you but our food addiction is there for all to see and judge without ever getting to know us. I'm glad I get professional help. I know I never want to be fat again because I'm finally able to live a normal life. The trick now is to learn to live this way for the rest of my life. And we all know based on 'fell off the wagon' posts that it's easy to self sabotage. This was a great topic to post. I appreciate being able to respond to it.

Take a look in the Bariatric Local Chapters section of the forum. There are meetings listed by region. If there's nothing for Northern Jersey, you are welcome to join our meeting...it's really for the tri-state area and we've had Jersey folks come to them.

here you go. http://www.bariatricpal.com/topic/304888-ny-nyclong-island/

Oh good. Thanks.

Welcome Nicole. There are quite a few NYC folks on this site and we also hold a monthly support group meeting. We have folks at all points in their weight loss journeys so feel free to join us for the next one.

OK, I saw it. Very nice! I know CG doesn't post much anymore, but she is still my inspiration.

Oh, I want to see that. Where can I find it?

I started this journey in a size 26/28 pant and 4X tops. It took something like 50 lbs. to drop down to size 20 pant and 2-3X tops. It wasn't till I got into size 14 pants...and that was at around the 100 lb. loss mark, that the sizes started to drop fast. I was probably around 160 lbs. when I was wearing the 14 pants and XL or 1X tops. But at 128....I'm wearing 6/8 pants and mostly medium petite tops. Once you get into the smaller sizes, it doesn't take much to go down. Just be aware of that...especially with something as important as a wedding gown.

I also counted calories and entered everything I ate into myfitnesspal so I would really understand what I was eating and what would be better choices for me. It's not always intuitive and after a lifetime of bad habits, I needed the structure to help me change the pattern. I haven't counted calories in a long time...I no longer have to. But....I still weigh my food when I eat at home. I don't quite trust myself to not overeat. There are times when the 'satiety' doesn't kick in right away and I have to know when to stop. Once in a while, I eat too much and then I pay for it....I'm uncomfortable and my tummy feels bloated. As you can see by the posts, everyone does what is right for them. There is no right or wrong answer...do what works for you.

I've been on this forum for quite some time and I've never heard of this complaint before. You should make an appointment to see the doctor. You just never know what could be the reason for this pain. Good luck, hopefully it's an easy fix, whatever it is.

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. It's painful to lose friends. But...the truth is that these ladies were never your friends. Friends don't abandon you when you improve your life. You will find out who your true friends are when you see who supports you...and who doesn't. Forget these gals....they are poison to you. I bet you find that the 'new and improved' jtickle makes new friends. You can't control how others interact with you and whatever makes these women jealous is not your issue. I know it won't be easy, but move on and know that you are leaving these toxic relationships behind. Congrats on taking control of your life and your health.

I'm speechless. What a lovely post. I'm so grateful to know so many wonderful people via this forum. Thanks Bandista. You have surely made my day.

Mine is a very unusual situation. I haven't had any fills. For whatever reason, I've had restriction from the beginning. Even my surgeon is very surprised...and I can tell you that this is not just willpower. I know that I have good restriction because if I eat too much, I don't feel so good and most of the time, I can keep myself at around 1,000 calories daily with virtually no real hunger in between meals.

Thanks Tammie. I just know that if I'm struggling with something, so are others. Yeah...I have lost more. Not even trying to lose more at this point, it's just coming off. At some point it will stop. I'm certainly not starving myself.

FYI, Alex messaged me. He apologized for missing the meeting but had a last minute switch with his ex and has the kids with him. At least we know why he didn't make it and fortunately, it's not because he or the kids are unwell.

I've been staring at this picture for several minutes because it just so happens that I'm wearing similar outfits in both and it's easy to do a comparison. The problem is that I have no idea who either of these women are. Yes...I know they are both me, but I don't recognize either of them. I didn't see myself as fat when I was and I don't see myself as normal which I understand I clearly am. I need to print this and bring it to my next therapy session. I'm still working on self image issues but it's like the weight loss journey...two steps forward and one step back. It's so easy for me to see other posters before/after pics and know the difference between them but I can't see it with my own. I am still on this journey and likely will be for quite some time. Good thing we have a support group meeting today. This facilitator could use it. Have a wonderful Saturday everyone.

You are so right. The whole 'living normal' thing is what it's about. The numbers are just that...numbers. Great NSV and I'm so very happy for you!!

Somehow you just have to learn to roll with the punches. I got approved and had a surgery date set and then Hurricane Sandy hit and the hospital was flooded. It took three months before they could re-open and I just had to wait till the hospital was up and running. No fun when you expect the procedure to have already taken place. I've been banded over 18 months at this point and the delay is just a long forgotten memory.