parisshel

Totally get this. Hopefully by the time you read this, you'll have come out of the surgery just fine. Courage!

Everybody is different and has different levels of privacy-needs. I live my life fairly publicly (I've had a blog for 10+ years and also do a good amount of writing which appears all over the web) so obviously I'm not the most private person. I've even agreed to meet with a documentary production company who may follow my journey, and I'm fine with that level of public disclosure. For my upcoming band, everybody knows except for my office colleague. The only reason I won't tell her is that she talks incessantly and I don't want my band to become another reason for her to prevent me from doing my work. I don't fear that she will notice my weight loss and wonder about it because she is very self-centered and never notices anything but her own world!

This is indeed amazing, certainly a proof of your talent in an era of ebooks and closing bookshops. Bravo! Let us know when it hits amazon so we can buy it!

That's funny, because the first surgeon I consulted with said EXACTLY THE SAME THING. "I don't do bands anymore, and overall surgeons take out more than they put in." He only did sleeves and bypasses, having stopped doing bands several years ago. So I went to see another surgeon. This one only does bands and bypasses and will not do sleeves. He is seeing sleeved patients end up in his hospital due to popped stiches, ulcers and peritonitus. "23 cms of stitches is a lot", was his comment. I've spent hours doing research on all the WLS options out there....truly days of reading data. And I found that you can find equal measures of arguments supporting and not supporting all the surgery options. It's true that I'm uncomfortable with the complications that may arise with the band, but on the other hand I'm more uncomfortable with the irreversibility of the other options. So I'm going with the band and the surgeon who believes this is my best option.

My sense is that my relationship will fall into the "at risk" category, based on the reasons kateeryn cites. My BF has zero interest in leading a healthy, active life, and this is even more irritating because he had a heart attack at age 38. You'd think he'd want to get himself into the best shape ever...but the further out he gets from that heart attack, the less its impact on him and the more he just lazes about, continues to eat poorly and rely on his medications to "combat" the damage his eating and inactivity have done. My own burden of fat made me reluctant to encourage him to live a better life--I looked at this as the pot calling the kettle black-- but I predict that my return to an active, healthy lifestyle will see us having some major issues. Still, it isn't worth staying fat to keep the relationship at status quo, right?

My boyfriend also said the same thing...he had heard from a colleague (who got sleeved) that 85% of successful WLS patients leave their partner. That colleague even said something like "You know she'll leave you after this!" or something equally inane. I told my boyfriend that if I did ever leave, it would have nothing to do with weight, but rather the fact he never clears his plate from the table.

This is a terrific question and reminds me to make a list of everything I can't do now that I WILL do as my weight goes down. I think first on my list would be more travel...I've ceased to travel as much because my energy level is so low and I can't just sightsee and walk all day long as I used to be able to do. So more trips, and more participating in life in general. My weight has gradually caused me to isolate myself and I'm finding my life just revolved around three poles right now: home, work and food. I'm am SO looking forward to that changing, and being much more social.

I totally agree with you. While one part of me is all for total honesty about everything, another part of me doesn't want to hear things such as "Oh, I know someone who got a lapband. It didn't work for her" or "I know someone who died from weight loss surgery. Have you really researched this?" We aren't idiots, and of course we have done hours of reading and researching. No one just wakes up one day and decides to have WLS. I think for all of us, this decision is extremely well-thought out. I've told my most everybody but one person: my work colleague. I don't want her up in my business, she's a gossip and I sense she will be resentful of the time I take off to do my surgery.

I should be banded in February but won't know the exact date until February 5th when I meet with my surgeon. I'd love it to be February 14th, because this will be the greatest Valentine's gift I could ever receive.