I have had my band for almost six years years. I did great on the first year. After the first year I had health problems and was diagnosed with cervical cancer. I had a hysterectomy and after that I was depressed and felt like my boyfriend at the time deserved someone who could give him children. Granted I have two beautiful girls from my previous marriage. But it was and still is hard for me to be around babies without crying. I know it seems silly but that is how I feel. I made excuses for not getting back on track. I hated myself, I hated what happened to me. I tried pushing my boyfriend away. He proposed to me October 3 2011. Then I was like yes this is the motivation I needed to get back on track. I did insanity for three months and got down to a size 12. Then I gave up again. I went back into my old routine. I hate feeling like this. I hate having my subconscious get me all the time. We were married in September and I couldn't be happier but I'm ready to get back on track and I don't like the person staring back at me that I see now in the mirror. Yes life throws us curve balls but we have to be stronger and fight back. With that said I'm taking control of my life and not let my subconscious win.