Failure

I am so happy for you!! You will be just fine

Yeah. I have heard similar things. I just don't make enough money to save it in any reasonable time frame. But checking with the companies they affiliate with, I can afford the monthly payment in the longest repayment plan which is like 60 months or something like that.

I certainly plan on having a therapist or someone to talk to just before and regularly afterwards. I am going to be seeing if maybe I can find someone who might have experience with talking to people who have had WLS. So I do plan on keeping in check in that department but I was just wondering of they had the potential to deny me the surgery for a mental issue. I am usually pretty good with setting goals and sticking to them. Just obviously as us all have, weight loss isn't one of the successful ones I go through. Ha. But I mean I set out for college and came out with 2 degrees in honors, which was a #1 for me since both my father and older sister are poor examples for school related things. So its not like my BPD is as limiting as it may sound when it comes to success. I am never too proud to admit when its a good idea to talk to a professional and I fully intend to for this.

Borderline personality disorder. If I am paying out of pocket, do I even have to mention something like that? Is it wrong not to if they don't ask (though I'm sure they would, unless they don't require psych eval)?

That is SO AWESOME! Keep that up and you will be golden <3

Hello. I actually have about 190 but I figure that was closer to the 200 range than the 100. I feel more like it is the effort of the 200s than the 100s if that makes sense. I am pre-op but just thought I'd introduce myself in this section specifically. I am trying to prepare myself for it all, I've yet to even have a consultation because I need to move to the area I will be in before I can do that. *wave*

Would I get denied a surgery from having mental issues if I am paying out of pocket?

I put headphones on with music that I like and I meditate. Nothing special or new age-y, just sit there and close my eyes and relax and listen to the lyrics or the beats. Any kind of music that puts you in a good place, it doesn't necessarily have to be upbeat music but it has to be something that won't depress you or make bad memories come up. When I feel anxiety or a bad place in my head keeps popping around that's what I do, I put the nice headphones that I bought for this purpose on and just chill out for about 20 minutes. If you really wanted to you can use this technique with something else like gardening or your exercises or anything.

Well this is my first blog on this site. I have this itch to write some thoughts out but I find my other online blogs pretty lonely. I have a livejournal that I frequent occasionally but it seems none of my friends on there are active anymore. And I have a tumblr but my friends that I've added don't add me back so I'm feeling a little lonely on the blog part. It's not so much that I want comments, I really appreciate them, but more than anything I just want to feel like at least I have the potential to reach somebody.. anybody. There is something that is very hard for me to deal with and I don't really know where I can talk about it with open arms. I just feel that if I put it out there that someone, somewhere is going to use it against me like what had happened on another website in the past (obesityhelp). I have a disorder called borderline personality disorder. Basically it is very hard to explain and pretty complex. BPD is not a chemically induced problem but rather learned behavior from a traumatic childhood of some sort. They say it is usually linked to familial problems but I had more problems from my school mates and people in the neighborhood constantly beating on me and making fun of me, that is what the doctors think was the trigger at least. I've ALWAYS been fat my whole life since I was like 8 but before that my sister was probably the culprit. There are things that I have only had a teeny tiny light shed on that she did to me but I do not even remember that specifically. I just remember the other parts. I have this in addition to OCD, so instead of having a life full of drug or sex addictions, I have addictions to other things that are repetitive in nature. I do a lot of video games because I take to them and I can get "lost" in them as I become addicted to them without much health risk. I get "addicted" to crafting things with my hands, like arts and crafts. I do a lot of jewelry crafting and other crafts that allow me to "obsess" over learning to make. I've sort of contorted that way as a means of managing my problem on my own with BPD and not being a statistic. Apparently BPD is curable and is usually cured as the person ages, but it doesn't always happen. I also have read that a lot of people with BPD never make it to older ages because they are prone to suicide before then. I feel I manage decent on my own but I am not perfect. I can keep myself from unhealthy habits such as drugs or alcohol or shopping, but I can't seem to control my thoughts. And I wonder how this will effect me in the long run of the WLS process. I don't think that it will be an issue with food because I have come to face that addiction and I don't get addicted to food like I do other things like my crafting. It's not the same. Food is a whole other subject for me. It's something that my family values a lot and Chef's run in my family down my fathers side. There is always gourmet food and lots of it around. Lots of fried foods and delicious elaborately cooked cunconctions that are just so delicious but not really healthy. I've never learned how to eat right or the right portions so basically trying to diet is so foreign to me. I don't understand how things go together with food (unfortunately that is never a craft I took to) although I can cook but I pretty much have to stick to a recipe because my brain just does not put things together with food very well. It's just hard for me. From the ages of 13 to around 19 I was what you may know as a cutter. I use to cut myself. I have not done it since around 18 but I say 19 because I had a little slip up that year. I have overcome that obstacle, as well. I had lots of therapy and psychological evaluations and drug trials but in the end it was something I quit doing on my own. But I will always utilize things I learned from my counselors. I had one counselor that had learned of my fascination with a book from school called Sadako and the 1000 Paper Cranes. We had learned as a school project how to make origami paper cranes and I took to making them very well that I got an award in class. That was in 5th grade. I had this counselor when I was about 15. So in the book when Sadako was in the hospital with leukemia, her friend had taught her the origami cranes to keep her occupied and they hung them from the ceiling until she passed. And I just loved that book, it reached out to me for some reason. So my counselor asked me to teach her how to make the cranes, and we would each make a crane of a different color paper and size each session we had. When I stopped seeing this counselor she flattened each crane and placed them in a box that we decorated together. I still have that box. I am by no means a hoarder, but I take to things that hold sentimental value. When my Mamaw passed away, my great aunt sent home her purse full of some personal belongings that were originally in that purse but some not. I asked my mom when she brought it home to me because I couldn't go to the funeral, what my sister had gotten. My mother told me nothing, she didn't have many personal belongings left because she went through a phase where she was giving away her belongings to people at church (she had dementia). I asked my mom, why did I get all of this then and nothing for her? She said, Thelma (my aunt) thought I ought to have it because she knew I take more value in things like that, the sentiment. It's so true that I do. Not everything do I keep but just little trinkets here or there from times in my life or people or memories of either. I don't know. Since I'm not going through with the WLS with insurance I am curious if they will still ask me for a psychological evaluation. Should I get one even if they don't because of this problem? Does anyone else have any sort of personality disorder or borderline? I'm so afraid of making a post in a forum because I don't want to be judged. I am not crazy nor incapable of doing things for myself. I am very smart and very much capable of working and things. I take no medications although I'm sure someone would try to put me on some but after having so many problems arise from medications I decided to self-help and I feel it has been good for me. I did in my teens along with cutting have issues with sex and drugs but I have overcome that on my own and I feel that I have a pretty good idea of how to keep myself from going to any bad place like that as I've not slipped up since those times. Anyway, just wanted to get that off my chest. Having BPD really makes things a lot harder on the brain aspects of things. I can usually catch myself when I am thinking too irrationally and all but sometimes I do get confused about being in denial, too under exaggerated or if I am being too much. Is there anyone out there who understands this, at all, whatsoever? Am I alone? Reference link: http://www.mayoclini...isorder/DS00442

Just keep thinking in your mind how it is ONLY temporary! You will be able to eat again, just not right now! That forum post title should say Not sure I CAN'T do this, because you CAN. Just keep reminding yourself, maybe even write post-it notes around areas you frequent at home to remind yourself that you are strong and you can do this, for yourself and your body! We have faith in you!

I agree, if you can find even more positive things for a reason to do something then it may make it even more "enticing" so to speak and help be a motivator

Ready4success you could always start practicing but not necessarily being in a strict diet now, if that makes sense. Like you could start making it a point to measure smaller portions of foods you like to eat for example, and if you think you're starting to lose too much and are afraid of being denied then perhaps stop for a while until you are accepted. Does that make sense? Or you could just try sampling various protein powders and shakes etc or just getting a feel for what kind of exercise/s you might want to take up after you're allowed to post-op.

I actually dont know what you mean about the 3 year thing. The stomach is reduced by 70-85% and it is for life. The point of the sleeve is a permanent life long tool to assist is losing a larger amount of weight and also to maintain that. It is a medical fact that once you become overweight and lose the weight, you have a widely harder time trying to maintain that the rest of your life than someone who has never been significantly overweight. You, like alllll of us here, would struggle all your life. This is the tool that will help you keep it in check if you help yourself to go through with it, eat healthy and take care of yourself (like making sure your Vitamins are ok). I don't recall who but I do believe a few members here are around your age. I think you have made an excellent choice to fix your weight now because you will be soooo much better off and happier in your life.

No one? :/

medloanfinance.com is 11.99% but has no interest for 6-21 months special or some crap. Care credit has a program that if you pay within 6 to 18 months you hav 0 interest but other repayment plans are 14.99% interest. Surgeryloans.com is 5.9% to 18.9% depending on loan amount, credit check, etc. I think all of them probably are based on amount needed and your credit and how long you want to take for the repayment.

Somewhat off topic but related to drinking jello as a liquid form, it also is very good for hair and nail health. Not sure if anyone knew that or cares. Just throwing it out there that it's super helpful to drink

Hi buddy! I just want to let you know that you are doing great. As shain mentioned, even with 2500 cal you are still significantly under your normal caloric intake. It's not to say you should continue on as that if your goal is 800, but you can better ease the guilt knowing that even with a little slip up you can trust yourself to not go ALL THE WAY overboard. And you didn't. That's so great, keep up the great work, I know you can do it and you'll be just fine. Just remember your goal and the outcomes that will be!

Mine is kinda weird and maybe boring. I'm a super nerdy gamer chick (which means I love video games!) and basically it was at one point where I had to make a name up for a character I created in a video game. I did some researching on google about whimsical names and historic names, etc. Discordia (spelled with an i instead of a y) is the name of a greek goddess. She was the goddess of chaos and discord, and there's supposedly some neo religious group that call themselves discordians. Now although this kind of thing I don't truly follow or anything like that, I thought the name was cool for a character in a video game that kills things. The name sort of took off with me though because from then on for some reason I just sort of use it for log in names and screen names. I started using Y pretty early on after finding the name because Discordia was usually often taken while Discordya was not. I also sometimes use Coralynn found pretty much in the same fashion for same purposes, only the name is from some fantasy novel and isn't some historic name. I don't even recall the novels name. But alas, Coralynn is usually taken as well since it's closer to a realistic name.

Oh my gosh, me too! I'm glad that I am note the only one who is thinking about it 24/7 and just reading post after post. Complete lurker, I tell ya!

MrzSongbird I would love to buddy up with you. I feel like we could learn a lot from each other as we journey on. What do you think? Also please feel free to add me to myfitnesspal if you want, I can teach you how to use it. My name on there is Discordya as my forum name I will be honest in saying that I think your husband is WRONG about running. Although you do burn more calories in general running vs walking, people of OUR WEIGHT CLASS should not force that stress on our joints and muscles. I think it is important to prepare and train your body first to be able to do that type of exercise. We have a lot of skin and fat that pulls down on our bones and joints, back being the #1. I have read in lots of places not to do that kind of running until you are ready. You will only hurt yourself from forcing it! But if you are doing it then I'm sure you'll be fine Finding MeMe, I think those are all great ideas. I have been insanely researching the VSG and writing down notes on things I will need, etc. I found this forum has some pretty awesome posts full of lists of things you'd need at the hospital, some questions answered about what brand of Protein shakes people like the most generally, etc. I really think that soon I will run out of things I need to really note until I get to the surgeon and get a date and all of that. Right now it's too hard to tell when this will actually happen since I need to move first

Thanks MeMe! I never thought to look on MFP tools

I'd love to talk to anybody. My request is not strict, it is just that I would like to talk to at least 1 person that has the weight in common but it's not really all that important I'd love to talk to anybody, I love to text and work from home so I have time whenever and can also lend a support for someone else even though I am really far away from my surgery (I think).

I don't even get an accept button anywhere, though. I don't know where to find something like that. It's been liked that since I signed up a few days ago The myfitnesspal isn't under my trackers

You may not think you are heroic but to some you are. Like a role model or someone whose story brings hope and a sense of realness to this type of thing. I thought it was very brave how you handled everything and have been going strong. Even the strongest people have weak moments, it is what builds the strength, right?! So happy for you close to your 20s, please let me know when you hit 229!!!

I can't seem to find it or who had it but I thought I saw someone who had a myfitnesspal tracker in their signature. I was wondering how to do that, I can't find it on google search or forum search. Also how do I accept a friend request? When I go to the requesters profile, it says I already have them as a friend. But on notifications it says they are awaiting approval.