Cheles

First, congrats to all who have made it to the other side! Second, hey all you Tennessee sleevers! I'll be moving to the other side tomorrow!

Here I am just 2-days away from a major life changing event. I'm accutely aware I am not afraid and wonder...it this okay? I realize I have an unusual view of this whole journey. I keep saying to family and co-workers, "check to see if I'm alive on Wed." This is so morbid. I don't know why I'm saying this. Is it because I'm "okay" if this happens or is it because I'm thinking it's the death of the old me? I keep looking towards the future and teasing my husband that he'll finally have a "hot" wife. Heck, I always thought I was pretty but never hot...go figure. Like most of you I have struggled with my weight. I never saw myself as fat/overweight or any of the other ugly words associated with my body or life-style choice. This year we different. I had an awakening and really saw the image. I hated what I've become. I did it. I made the choices. I would workout and tone up, but the dieting was never solid for any long amount of time. I would cheat before the end of the week. At that point, WTH, I was back to my old ways of eatting. So, 2-days and counting and the way I look at it is the death of the old me and the rebirth of the new me.

Ok, I hadn't thought about this either. But here's a few I would like to do. Not see my stomach between my legs Cross my legs Paint my toes Run around with my grand children Chase my dogs through the yard Have my husband throw me over his shoulder (he's a strappin' man!) Buy 100% cotton jeans in the real women's department and not the strech kind Be able to wear a silk blouses because my arm-n-hammer arms are gone. Walk my dogs daily Sky dive

Estella...that made me laugh...the close encounter with food. I'll never forget my mom being on a diet many years ago and offering up herself to my dad if she could have more chicken. For years we teased her saying she was prostituting for poultry!

Guzel, that's exactly what it is...breaking up. It's that same type of loss. Thank you for pointing that out.

Thank you. The hungry was at it's worst on the first day. The diet is simple. I had to purchase 2-weeks of supplemental food from Dr Boyce. I am allowed 6-supplements a day. It's mainly liquid except for the protien bar, protien chips, and Pasta A general day looks like oatmeal Brown Sugar and Maple Beef or chicken Soup about 6-8 oz Protien Bar Pasta with Beef or Chicken soup Protien shakes or pudding Protien chips I got on the scale this morning, and I'm down another 3lbs. WOOHOO!

I'm on day 5 of my 12-day pre-up diet and down 4-lbs. Acutally, I've done quite well with no hungry except for day one. Today wasn't so good. It's my mom's birthday and we generally put up her tree. However, it wasn't the tree that made me crazy depressed...it was the Cookies, cake, and ice cream. I could smell the cookies baking when I walked in the door. Yummy, but sad...sad because I wanted them so, but I stuck to my guns and said no to everything. Finally, I walked out the door and over to my house. I was preparing beef stock for after my surgery. I've been making stock every weekend for the last three weeks. It smelled soooo good. I guess you could say I have cheated by eating 1-cup of homemade stock every night. It's 30 calories and no fat and it's the best thing I eat all day. Here's where I was bad...I finally couldn't take it any more and snitched a small piece of french bread (which really needs to leave my house) just to dip it in the homemade stock. That was all I needed. It calmed me down and got me over the loss of goodies. I know this feeling will creep up again soon. I'm just not good with depression and self-pity. I've counted the bread in my food journal along with my feelings about it all. I have to say, my husband has been a trooper, although he was going to give me a small bit of his scrambled eggs with cheese. He knows I am strugglling with the loss of food. He know's I'm a foodie at heart, but he's trying to be there for me every step of the way.

Pre-op consult completed and 10lb lost before pre-op diet Pre-admissions at hospital completed--clean bill of health Lab work completed 15-days till surgery. 12/20/2011 Pre-op diet begins tomorrow...and yes I am scared of thatl. Quiting smoking...UGH! Not yet, but will before the week is out. Thanks! Cheles

Mine is Dec 20th with Dr Stephen Boyce in Knoxville, TN. I'm not scared, yet...lol. But it's taken me over 10-years to finally do this.

Today I scheduled my surgery for 12/20/11. I have my 1st pre-consult with the Nut team on 11/30 and my surgery consult on 12/5/11. Now to quit smoking with the E-cigy...starting this weekend. I think this will be worse then pushing the food back. I so love a ciggy in the morning with my coffee on my way to work. And I think I'll begin the pre-diet early to become comfortable with the liquid part of the diet. I bought a bullet blender and it's inroute. What's next? I'm really not afraid. I've told a few at work about my decision and have gotten good feedback. A few of my co-workers voiced their concerns, but all-in-all it's been good.

Understood! You can do it...fear isn't an option at this point. You have made it this far and you can make it all the way.

And so begins a 10-year journey. 10-years ago I began looking into WLS. My sister was one of the first to have it done over 15-years ago in Laredo, TN. I've watched her over the years lose 150-lbs and then gain it all back. I believe she had the switch. I've watched her become sick at almost every family function. I've watched her hair do CRAZY things. For her, there was no maintained. Just go home and lose the weight...she did. And then she gained it and more back over the years. I did not want to do that....so I've waited. 2-years ago I was approved for the band. To be honest, I wanted the sleeve, but my insurance would not pay for it; it was deemed "experimental". I backed out after approval. I did not want anything foreign in my body. I thought it was bad enough that I did not have the will power to stop my own eating behaviors, but to have something in my body that would make me lose weight just did seem like the right thing to do. So, here I am; 10-years later and approved. I'm planning for my surgery in Dec. Yes, it's right before Christmas, but it's the only time I could take off and ensure I was not going to have any large projects with my prevent me from doing this. I am both excited and afraid, but it's my time and I'm not getting any younger...lol.