Fenton

I've been thinking more about food, and about how I'm going to work it into my life now that I'm banded. I've worked in the restaurant industry for the last decade or so, and am passionate about the stuff. I don't think that was what made me fat: I got fat because I'm a binge eater - if I had a rough day, I'd load up with Twixes, and then go get ice cream later, and maybe some Twinkies, easily taking in 2,000 or 3,000 extra calories in sweet junk. I still don't understand how I am not diabetic. At the moment, I can't eat much; I assume that will change. But I also don't WANT to eat much. I went out with my girlfriend tonight, and had a hot chocolate - a real one, with chocolate melted into milk, none of this powdered cocoa mix crap. I was fine with the calories - I'm a bit worried that I haven't hit 1,000 calories of daily intake since banding (at my size, just to maintain my weight, I should be taking in over 4,000 a day). But I found that after 1/3 of a cup, I was fine. I took the rest in a paper cup to go, and will have it for Breakfast tomorrow morning, after I've choked down 20 ounces of Isopure for my 40 g Protein. And I think that's how this process will work for me. I'll order many things I used to love, but I'll only eat a little of them. At restaurants, I'll only have an appetizer, and even that will probably be too much for me. For the first time, I think I'll be able to leave food I love on my plate. There will obviously be serious limitations - about once a month, I enjoy a great steak - but I think it'll be fun. I actually like this kind of challenge. And luckily, at this point in restaurant history, there's a big vogue towards small plate dining. So at this point, I believe I can have my cake, and eat it too. I can still enjoy foods I love, just not in the volumes I used to, nor even in the volumes normal people do. And I'm OK with that. But next week I start on pureed foods, and I know two dishes I'm going to have during that time, and I"m looking forward to them tremendously.

As far as the movies go, I saw HORTON HEARS A WHO yesterday, making me three for three. I like popcorn OK, but only real popcorn with real butter. The smell of the movie theater stuff doesn't derail me. It didn't even occur to me to pick up the chocolate that has always accompanied me to the movies in lo these 40 or so years as an avid movie-goer. Which is interesting and kind of cool.

Hey, Amanda. Yes, I do work around medical people, and am familiar with the principles and the jargon etc. I'm sure the people at NYU would be happy to see bandsters they didn't band themselves - it's a center of bariatric excellence, and they are extremely experienced. My feeling, though, is that they're a bit overloaded - they have such an excellent reputation, that they're always jammed. The waiting rooms are always full, etc. But if you're looking for a superb lap band team, I don't think there are any better.

POD 9 Still have 90% of my steri-strips attached. There's no incisional pain now, so I'm going to be more generous with soaping them up in the shower, see if that might help them on their way - since I have my checkup on Monday, I don't want them to be tearing off chunks of flesh with the steri-strips when they're inspecting the wounds. The xposed part of my port incision looks fine - pink, a little flaky, a small crusted nodule on one pole, but no oozing or tenderness or swelling. Not much else to report. I'm not really hungry, but I have a desire to eat. But I don't want liquids, though - I am SICK of liquids. But liquids are what I shall have. I'm beginning to believe that much of the early weight loss is due to the fact that the liquid diet is just so not fun. You don't want the food, you don't eat the food. You don't eat the food, you lose weight...

Congratulations, BigDaddy!

The pre-admission testing for me didn't take long - maybe an hour for blood drawing, an EKG and a chest X-ray. There was no barium swallow/upper GI series, which streamlined things. The supervisor who was running my testing wasn't sure if I needed stress testing; she said it was automatic for any bandster with a BMI over 60, and when I entered the tunnel, mine was 60.1. But dieting and liquids since I first enrolled in the National Band Academy had dropped my BMI to 58 by the time of my pre-admission testing. Since there was hand-wringing going on about whether I should or shouldn't have a stress test, I decided to get a cardiology consult, which went smoothly. Have we heard any further word on Christine? Do you know what they're going to do yet? Busywoman, sorry to hear it took four hours - I know you are, like, busy...

Teri - good to hear you've made it onto the runway! The hard part will be over before you know it. Hope! Thanks for the recipes! I'm trying to force myself to drink my SLimfast Optima, which I shall try and adulterate in the pattern of your recipes... Harleygirl: I hope you feel better for blowing off that steam!

Mom! Congratulations! You might not feel like celebrating right now, but you know very well that there's a handful of upcoming bandsters who'd happily swap places with you - now that you've gone home! What WERE you thinking, woman? It's not major surgery, but it's surgery, and big people feel it more than little people. I'm impressed by your courage, but I'm absolutely thrilled that you're going home to relax and take it easy for the weekend. I've worked pretty hard in the last year or so, so I had enough sick leave banked to be able to take off almost two weeks. It's a luxurious stretch, but I'm so hopeless at organizing that everything - eg abdominal surgery - completely interrupts my smoothly functioning life. I needed the recovery time - and now I'll need recovery time to recover from the recovery!

POD 8 Well, I think I'm almost back to normal. My stomach still feels unusual, but I'm basically fine. THe bruising is nearly invisible. Half of the steristrip dressing came off my port incision; the incision is a fine pink line, with a little bit of crusting, but I'll be damned if I'm going to yank the steristrips off the others quite yet! My guts are... OK. Sometimes a trip to the toilet is an adventure in wind, but it's been basically fine. I'm doing OK on the eating - well, drinking, to be more precise. I'm occasionally even feeling hungry! I've not had enough to eat/drink today - I had my esophagram this morning, and that paste I slurped down is probaby leeching all the Water out of my system even as I type. I've managed a cup of sugar free hot chocolate, and some white bean Soup, about a cup. I'm going to spend the rest of the day sipping Isopure to boost my Protein and Fluid intake. My sleeping remains a problem, but that's because yesterday I crashed for a couple of hours in the afternoon, then couldn't get to sleep until after 2AM, then was woken at 6:45AM by my battling cats. I expect to sleep well tonight - I'm going to be putting up a sign saying No Cats Allowed In Fenton's Sleep Chamber, which ought to take care of things nicely.

BigUNC, can you get any relief from rinsing your mouth, or maybe from chewing sugarfree gum? That dry mouth is a horrible feeling. I'm in the Two Hours = One Hour Too Many camp, too. I'm still on liquids, then I graduate to pureed food. I assume I'll be given the same instructions when I'm finally let loose on the world of solids again...

Out with it, Hope! What's the recipe for Skinny Monkey? I've not been able to restart with the Slimfast Optima since my surgery, and I have cases to consume...

And Amanda, I'm not worried about you - you have GOAL written all over your face.

jencys - lucky you! You were cutting it a wee bit close there - you almost missed being a Shamrock!

kljared - nice to have you gagging along with the rest of us...

Cocolossel: I think Annie's got great advice there. But if *I* were having excruciating pain for 2 weeks, I wouldn't be waiting until Monday; I'd go in and see my surgeon tomorrow, have someone look at my wound, make sure it's not infected. I may have been lucky, as I've had, essentially, no pain - I didn't even fill my painkiller prescription. I think the pain you're describing, while it may be nothing, warrants getting checked out as soon as possible - ideally a week ago! Good luck!

Christine - what a pain about the stress test! But that's what they're there for. They'll polish you up, get you in tip-top shape for your surgery. I'm really glad that you had it done, and that they're going to sort you out. And you're right - even if they have to delay the surgery a little, this is EXACTLY why we're doing it. I know we'll be cuter, have more energy, maybe move ahead in our jobs, find a new lover, have better sex, have any sex at all et cetera et cetera et cetera. But what's most important - and the reason some of us have health insurance companies paying for our expensive surgery - is that this is about getting healthy. It's not about shaving pounds, it's about adding years... Hang in there! And yay for good cardiologists!

Thanks, guys! I'm 6'2". It sounds as if I'm going to need to get seriously under 300 to feel comfortable even trying most of these places... I would be SO humiliated if I didn't fit! snaps - thanks for the Dorney Park recommendation. And Elsie - if you find that site, please share it!

Also: Amanda: are you sure you're getting enough food? I'm wondering if part of your momentary despair might be related to insufficient calories or protein...

Rhonda, you know your own body best. It sounds like stress, but if it's a real symptom, you should talk to your doctors about it so they can reassure you. When's your surgery date? Are you worrying about it?

Awww, Amanda! I'm sorry you're feeling down. But you're focusing on what you've lost, not what you've gained. And you're not even focusing on what you've REALLY lost! You're worried about some scars (which will eventually be tiny) on your tummy, when your tummy is in the middle of a body that was 110 pounds overweight! As the weight goes off, as you become healthier and healthier, as you find your energy exploding, as you find yourself doing things and going places you haven't done or gone in a long time - if ever! - then you'll remember WHY you got your lap band. And when you do, the sacrifices you've made will seem trivial. This band will give you your life back. Having your life back may require you to make some adjustments - at whatever reason, for some sneaky internal reason, we've managed to make peace with being fat, so we probably were gaining some value out of it, instead of being so horrified by what we'd done to ourselves that we lost the weight immediately. But, speaking for me personally, I'm tired of being a reclusive fat person, hiding away from the world at large. I don't want to worry about bumping into old friends, into old girlfriends, and seeing their shock and concern about how much weight I've put on. And I don't want to lie around, wondering when this coffin of fat I've put on is going to kill me. These are reasons why I decided to have surgery - five little cuts is NOTHING to me if that's the price to flay off this fat, to set me free again. Please stop asking yourself WHY you did this. Instead, ask yourself why you got fat? Why did you do that? How could you do that to yourself, how you could you make your heart work like that? How could you make your friends so sad? Don't you care about your life? And even if you don't know the answer, I do. You DO care about your life, your heart, your partner, your body. I know that because you chose the lapband. You chose LIFE! Now hang in there. Your scars will heal, your eating habits will settle, you'll start feeling better, your weight will continue to drop off, and YOU will emerge - the real you, living a real life, not hiding away inside your body. You're going to be better than fine!!! Just hang in there, and tell us how you're doing. And, above all: NEVER FORGET YOU'RE A SHRINKING SHAMROCK!!!

My sisters and brothers: AH HAVE SINNED!!! I cheated a little while ago. I went to walk and to buy a sleek new fire extinguisher, and dropped in on a friend who owns a restaurant. Long story short, he complimented me on how much weight I'd lost (he hasn't seen me for about a month - I was really pleased he noticed - he used the expression "Whoa! You've lost a s**tload of weight, my friend? You been dieting?"), and we sat to chat. He had the kitchen make us some bruschetta (Italian toast topped with flavorings); I gummed the toppings of mine, but even so, they weren't as smooth as they should be at this stage! No way I'm getting pureed chicken livers with balsamic vinegar, or ricotta with lemon zest and toasted hazelnuts up through a straw! So, yeah, a slight slip. I feel OK, though, and don't tend to repeat that. I just thought you'd want to know!

Hey, Kettering - are you English? I was ill right up to my start date for the liquid diet. Indeed, I delayed going liquid for a couple of days because I was worried I wouldn't get enough Protein to support my body's fight against the infection, so I did a 10 day liquid pre-op, instead of 14. Worked fine!

Hey there. I'm freshly banded, and in it for the long haul. One of the things I miss tremendously at my size is rollercoaster rides and theme parks in general. As I lose, I'd like to reward myself with the occasional theme park expedition, but I'm worried that I won't be able to fit on the rides. Does anyone know of a resource that has ride accessibility info for obese riders? Surely, in the internet era, there has to be something! Given my size (starting wt 473, probably around 435 or so now), it'll be a while yet, but I want to start planning and dreaming... Any advice would be gratefully appreciated.

Well, it's more just a feeling of being gassy, but also I'm a frequent burper and farter now. The thing is, nothing has smelled bad - let's face it, all of us are capable of producing noxious gases, but I feel like since my banding I haven't been farting so much as decompressing, letting of excess air. I think that bypass surgery, because of the way you get replumbed, can be associated with malabsorption syndromes which are both gassy and foul-smelling. I don't think banders suffer anywhere near as much with that. But to be honest, I'm still waiting to find out when this will settle down. As I say, my surgeon has had his band for something like 8 years; I'll ask him when I see him on Monday.

POD-7 I'm pretty good today, although my sleep isn't great - I wake up a little bit before 7AM, feeling like I overate the night before. Which I didn't, I swear! I walk around a bit and feel a bit better, but now I'm wondering if I'm doomed to have this odd overfull feeling when I wake each day. I know my MD, who has a band himself, says that he doesn't usually eat breakfast; he's had his band for 8 years or so, I think - is this why he doesn't eat Breakfast? The other thing, too, is that I wake feeling gassy, and I'm wondering if that, too, is the New Me. I've been pretty good about the liquid diet thing for the last three weeks, and felt pretty good about continuing, but this morning I watched the first episode of the new season of TOP CHEF. There was deep dish pizza, and duck a l'orange, and crab cakes, and MAN I wouldn't mind having something to eat. Something real... Otherwise, everything's still the same, maybe a little better.