Fenton

It's more than just a crown! It's... it's a... TIARA!!!

You like me! You really like me! sob sob

And here's me thinking you were going to spend your day googling "Wii controller johnson", A-Dub...

Haha! Not that you're NOT a wimp, but I quickly discovered that a frozen banana is almost impossible to peel - you really learn a lot about the structure of a banana that way. I buy bananas a half dozen at a time - in the US, at least where I shop, they're always unripe, so I leave them to ripen (almost to overripeness, actually), then peel them and freeze them.

Nice work, hombre! The first couple of days after banding aren't much fun, but they're also not terrible. If you have discomfort getting out of bed or out of the chair, clutch a pillow to your stomach and chest. Keep walking for gas pains. All the discomfort will rapidly clear up, and soon you'll feel great again. Just keep walking. Try to walk at least a half an hour today and tomorrow, and much more in the days to come...

Damn, Rick, that's terrible! I thought you had come to post that they'd managed to slip you in, and you were finally banded... Look, the next few weeks'll fly back, and you'll be banded in no time. Hang in there!

Well done, Teri! After a week in a high-fat food paradise, it's great that you're up only one pound! Welcome back...

It sounds to me like you played that one very well. You might want to get that surgeon's letter sooner rather than later. I don't believe that they'd be allowed to fire someone for following medical guidelines after surgery for treatment of a life-threatening procedure. And, on another note: what f***ing bastards.

Amanda, thanks for the bouquet! Now, where's my sash??? I like the US cover better, but the British one is (supposedly) more appropriate for the UK (and Australian, apparently) market. The Dutch cover is positively bizarre - it looks like someone doing something incredibly inappropriate to a cow's udder - but the German one is kind of cool.

It's not just any johnson - it's a *magic* johnson! Thanks all! I'm v. satisfied. But now KPod has raised the ante by mentioning how close she is to "obese" - the game is afoot!

morbidly inept at typing on the internet! I am actually MORBIDLY OBESE! It only took about 4 1/2 months and 84 pounds! I feel like I should be walking down the runway weeping as I clutch the sash and the vast bouquet to my chest while the band plays "Here She Comes, Miss America"...

So, I would like to announce that, I am now: MORBIDLY

Rugman, what's not to get? You're losing fat and building muscle, which is denser and therefore smaller than fat! You're going in the right direction! Lynn, I LOVE the idea of deep Water aerobics! I bet that feels GOOD... A-Dub, I'm logging on quickly from work, and don't have the time or the willingness to be unsafe at W right now, but when the thing came out, all of the geeky gadget sites had vids of hot chicks doing nude Wii stuff. INdeed, I remember one where (disclaimer: what follows is not for the faint of heart) some guy had attached the Wii controller to his "johnson" and was using it to play Wii Tennis with. Of course, I realize that A-Dub will now spend the rest of the day googling various combos of "Wii, controller, johnson"...

Tess, you didn't just lose a chin or two, you lost a DECADE or two!!!

And nemesis, when you ask if its okay if you can introduce yourself in the Men's Room, I'd have to say that this is probably one of the few Men's Rooms where it's completely appropriate to introduce yourself! Although I think it would've been a bit cooler if instead of introducing yourself in the Mens' Room, you'd introduced yourself in the Ladies Room. I'm blanking on the name - Bandsters Gone Wild or something. Ladies? Reresh my recollection?

Well, it's summer - can't you just slather a lot of product on it? We tend to shed more in summer than winter anyway - when the cool weather comes (and, judging from your spring, in Utah that should be in a couple of weeks time), your fur will grow back in time for hibernation...

And nice work, EGlue! The watch and the pants are great victories for you, but the best one is that you can drive more comfortably: hopefully, the number of moose and pedestrians you've been nailing because of your old seating position will rapidly decline!

Awww... Harley - that's a super nice one!

In truth, my skin is good for a couple of reasons: 1. Better nutrition 2. Much more time spent out walking in the sunshine 3. A girl I have a crush on is visiting town, so I've been extra good with my skin care regimen. Actually, this is the first time I've really HAD a "skin care regimen". After googling "summer skin care men", I fully expect to receive an automatic visitation from my gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered brothers and sisters to invite me to participate in this month's Pride activities. (This month in NYC is Gay Pride month - elsewhere too, I think.) Anyway, my jojoba facial scrub seems to be doing the trick! (Apparently, crushed fruit pit scrubs are too brutal on the skin for summer use.)

I think the take-home message is that hair loss is common in pretty much ANY form of rapid weightloss, and that the hair grows back almost completely. I got some peculiar combination of Hair and Nail Salvaging Vitamins from the health food store, but it hasn't worked. Probably mostly because the pills are so bloody big I don't have the energy to choke them down. My nails are great btw. And today, my lunch date, who raved about how great I looked, praised the glow of my skin! Of course, with MY luck, I'm probably pregnant...

I realize now that you'll probably get the trade paperback, which was, I think, the Australian release. It comes with the grisly British cover, but I don't think there's a photo. D'oh! Clearly the only way to get my picture is to order the book from amazon.com in the US! Sometimes it just sucks to be Australian! But here, let me make it up to you: if you go here, and scroll down to Radio, you can hear me being interviewed or doing a radio piece: Jonathan Hayes: What I Write Or here's a podcast I did to introduce my book: http://www.jonathanhayes.com/books/precious/pb_intro.mp3 You see how I spoil you?

I have had no fills.

Hey, nemesis. You're going to want to be careful with the lifting - at my place, they urged us to lift nothing heavier than 10 lbs for at least 6 weeks. After 6 weeks, the scar tissue has formed and the sutures are pretty solid; before that, you run a (small, I suspect) risk of tearing sutures or causing a weakening in the abdomen wall that stuff can pouch out of (an incisional hernia). If you go back to work, you should explain that you had to have a (minor) surgical procedure, but that you won't be able to lift much for the next month and a half. I'd bet your surgeon would be happy to give you a note. I took a week off after my surgery. I could've gone back to work in less time, but I'm glad I took the time to heal slowly. It's not MAJOR surgery, but all surgery is harder for bigger people, and it took more out of me than I was expecting... Welcome aboard! You've made a great decision to look after yourself and your future. Don't be afraid to as questions, and keep on reading here and elsewhere to learn what to expect...

My ink is private - although I'll certainly share my reward tattoos. As far as piercings go, I had my ears pierced back when I was 17, when I personally invented subculture. It was important to me to be a role model for future young whippersnappers like A-Dub, who would be too feeble to have the first idea of how to rebel appropriately. My other parts are, of course, far too fine to stick bits of metal into.

Annie - I've been shedding hair, too. It happened to me when I did Atkins, too, which is a high Protein diet (or, rather, for ME it was a high protein diet). I think the hair grew back, but I'm not sure. You're wicked young, yours'll definitely grow back. I doubt that rogaine would help, but I guess everything's worth a try. I wouldn't sweat your testosterone - hair loss happens in something like 20% of people who lose weight rapidly. I think it's a straight metabolic thing. Although I believe I read somewhere that male sex hormones are converted to female hormones in fat; perhaps with less fat, the balance gets disturbed. Whatever the cause, it's a common, and basically temporary finding. Don't worry about it.