Pain, Hurts So Much So Deep
· Monique Salmond · 06/10/2012 06:14
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Monique Salmond
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I am a little conflicted right now. Lets start with stats. Started out at 252 lbs on January 18 2012. And as of June 9 2012 I am 194. went from a womens 20/22 to a 12/13, 3XL to a L. I kick a$$ in the gym and own it EVERY time. I am doing great as far as restriction. MY PROBLEM? My marriage. At first sex was great I was feeling sexy I was a lioness and happy and feeling so close to my husband. NOW, I am so sad. sad it hurts. I cry. I feel alone. I AM ALONE! Im never happy and nothing is EVER good enough. I clean with no direction or accomplishment. I am always cleaning and moving and organizing but my house is a dump. I get over whelmed and end up barking at every one. I feel I have no support. I usually am ok when I focus on other things like the kids and the gym. But the moment I start cleaning, I get a lil OCD. Things that didnt bother me or matter before I am now ripping apart and rebuilding. I feel everyone else is excited and proud of me except my husband. I dont even feel like calling him my husband. I want to call him what he is, a room mate. I feel so empty and lonely and its making me out to be a very angry and miserable person.