Jess, don't let a mis-step set you back. You started this journey for a reason. You know what it's going to take to lose the weight again and having fear of seeing your doctor shouldn't be a hurdle. Your doctor and his nurses are not there to judge you, they are there to help you and if that isn't the case, then you need to find another doctor's office. My original surgeon and her nurse both moved to California, I live in Florida, so I was forced to find another doctor. I too "fell off the wagon" I started at 330 lbs, dropped to 260 and I'm now back up to 308. Bummer! But, I have a new doctor, I quit smoking and I'm seeing a nutritionist for guidance. You should take advantage of being in nursing school and talk to your professors about food choices and a possible diet to use as a guide. Only you can make changes in your life and the fear of what someone else is thinking shouldn't block you from success. Don't be your own worst enemy, take care of yourself first. You can do this!