kristin103161

I had lost and gained weight my entire adult life.  I was not heavy as a child.  I was 137 pounds when I married at the age of 18.  I gained 70 pounds with my first baby and I never lost all of that weight.  In 1988 my 4 year old son died and I began to pack on the pounds and before I knew it I was 290 pounds and still gaining.  I told my husband of 32 years that I had to do something.  I wanted to be around to see my new grandsons grow up.  So together we decided on the Lap Band procedure.  He did not want me to do Gastric Bypass nor did my daughter.  They were all so supportive.  I had my surgery on Nove 9, 2007.  I  did well and lost down to 223 pounds and then my whole life turned upside down.  My daughter went through a divorce and she and her two boys ages 1.5 and 4 moved into our home.  I could no longer work out 6 days a week as I had been, money became an issue as well.  Stress mounted.  I found myself inching back on the weight.  I would try to follow my diet plan foods and they would get stuck and so I began to eat things that would easily pass through my band.  I started eating junk food again, after I swore that I would never touch the stuff again.  I gained back to where I am today 267 and said no way am I going backwards.  I took a good hard look at myself in the mirror and realized I had to gain control again.
I made the appointment to go back to my surgeon, as I became embarrassed and had stopped going to see him.  Yesterday I had my second fill in my band.  I am tight today, I know I have good restriction now.  I am going to work hard to follow my diet and excersize this weight off of me once and for all.  I did not go this route to fail.  I have a powerful tool inside of me.  I must use it.  I know the band is only 10% of it, the rest is up to me and my brain.
Food is an addiction for me, it soothes me when I am upset or stressed.  I must utilize other things to bring about this comfort and turn away from food.  Food is to sustain us, happiness does not come from food.
My Mantra is I now will "Eat To Live And No Longer Live to Eat"