ready2bconfident

Thanks for the advice and talking me down! I'm sure I just need a fill and I am scheduled to get my second next week. I just got so freaked out thinking the surgery was for nothing, since I hardly feel restriction. But I know it's a process. And if anyone thinks this is an easy fix, they are way off! It's SO hard! But thanks for your words! I'm gonna try and not beat myself up, just move forward.

I am about 8 weeks post op and have messed up! This is so pathetic! I just ate a muffin , a pickle and a small cinnamon roll! I don't even know how I have gotten it down! Mentally I feel horrible and disgusting! I've only had one fill (due again next week) I feel like i've done this for nothing. I didn't vomit! I'm worried i've already stretched me pouch which is why i'm keeping it down? I know it's horrible but I even tried to make myself vomit after, and I couldn't. I just burped! This is horrible! I feel like I have no control right now! And on top of that worried that the surgery won't even work for me longterm!

Well, I got the surgery date scheduled this morning- FEBRUARY 11! I have to say, I'm very excited but as soon as I got the date my tummy started doing flip flops and hasn't let up yet. I know I'm ready for this, but I'm nervous. Not so much for the actual procedure, more nervous about my mindset afterwards. I worry because with me, being hungry and wanting food are two different things. I know this isn't a magic fix, and I have to do the work. So I started this blog to vent and for advice hopefully... I wonder how long it takes for your mind to click...I will eat to live instead of live to eat.