carlacee

My name is Carla. I have had the lap band since october of 2008. I will never regret getting it, however, I wish I went about it a little bit different. I made the decision in the beginning of June of 2008 to get it and because my insurance didn't cover it, I got to rush through and skip a lot of steps (psych consult/nutrition/support group). I have been overweight my entire life and my weight was slowly ballooning upwards. I was 200 lbs when I was 16 and clocked in at 326 the day of surgery. I had surgery when I was 31. I (stupidly) thought the band would fix everything that was wrong in my life. While it has done numerous things for me (no more sleep apnea, more self-confident in my job, and through the roof energy!) there have been set backs. One of my biggest issues that I have is that I am completely unable to see my weight loss. When I look in the mirror, I see no difference between me now and me then. Oh yeah, I weigh 180 now. I tend not to eat a lot. Three to five bites at a time, and sometimes it will go through the band and sometimes ... Well sometimes it revisits me. I eat about 3 "meals" a day. Depression has hit me in the past 6 months, because I just want to eat a "normal" meal without wondering where the nearest bathroom is. I despise going out to restaurants (ever since my episode at bob Evans with the little old lady standing outside of my bathroom stall lecturing me on bulimia). I decided to join this site as a form of support. In case you are wondering, yes I have spoke to my surgeon about this, but I don't think he listens. I am (somewhat) afraid that I will "fail" and gain weight again if he takes any fluid out. Argh! Stupid me!