Becky3006

Hi all, I am new to this but have been reading the forum for a while. I was banded on the 29th November and had my first fill yesterday. I am already eating food (not much) but still eating food! I am falling apart! I have always suffered from severe depression and after the operation lost 7 pounds (nothing compared to most people on here) and gained it all over christmas again. The last few weeks I have done nothing but think the band won't work for me my mind will find a way to cheat it and I am petrified. I feel like my life is over because I already can't stick to it. I am not yet in that positive motivated mindset and can't get into to it because I am too down. When I do get focused I am great normally with diets but with all it gains again quickly. I always have been a major yo yo dieter and have gained 5 and a half stone since not last summer the summer before so just under a year and a half!!! i know looking on this forum everyone has problems but i feel in giving up in life in general (crying as i write this sad i know). I know alot of people will read this and think get a grip just get motivated but I can't. I have just moved back to Manchester after a time at home in Portsmouth which I love. I hate it up here it makes things worse, all my friends from university have graduated and left but I want to support my boyfriend but I am so lonely up here and with no job as I am in the process of starting my own business its making things so much worse. The concept of the band I thought would work but I am scared that this was the last thing left that would make me want to live my life and I have already f****d it up! I know replies will be you can do it, it takes time, get realistic goals, the first fill never does much but reading other posts it doesn;t give comfort I just feel so much worse at the fact people seem to manage to pull it together! sorry for whining and being pathetic!! becky x