PrincesaJenE

Angel, This may sound silly but I want you to go to a bookstore and find the book "Oh The Places You'll Go" by Dr. Suess. Yeah -Dr. Suess. Its a kids book - but it has a very adult message that I think is apropos for you at this time in your life. Read it! The first time I read it I got misty eyed. What you have to understand is that sometimes you just gotta suck it up! Its okay to be sad, its okay to be self conscious, it okay (sometimes) to make poor decisions - what is not okay is to relinquish control of your life to these other things. So people laugh at you at the gym? So what? So your mom is ignorant and naggy - tune her out or listen to her and know that she has no idea what she's talking about. As for excercise if your knee is hurt- exercise with your arms. You have options - you're just too focused on obstacles. You never mention in your post if you've even lost any weight. YOU have to be in control of your destiny - that doesn't mean you'll have the best control all the time. But you have to be responsible for yourself. You have to own whatever decisions you make and persevere through life's mishaps. Good luck! Hope you enjoy the read!

Yay! I'm so happy to hear this! I thought I was the only person in the world who had scar tissue that was affecting this whole process. I'm so happy to hear there are others out there like me! Now, I did not bend the needle . . . but my first attempted fill went crazy horrible bad. My Doc just couldn't get the needle in. He kept asking the nurse for longer and longer needles. He had me laying tilted upside down - practically standing on my head. :blink:He had me stand up, sit down, etc. etc. No luck. All the pushing on the scar tissue was very painful. :cursing:There was blood all over the doctor's gloves and he called in for reinforcements who pushed and prodded on me too. When the doc caught a glimpse of me and the tears running UP my face (from being upside down) he called the game. We tried again 2 weeks later and the needle popped right into the port in under 10 seconds with less than a pin prick of pain. While he was filling it though the needle came out - he had to tilt me back upside down and it took him a couple of minutes to get it back in - all the while I feel as if I'm suffocating on the water that has backed up in my throat.:biggrin: He removed some saline and I was good to go. Feel great - I'm glad to hear that I'm not alone and that we can laugh at our scar tissue debacles!:thumbup:

So you wanna cry - I ACTUALLY did. I remember sitting on the foot of my Mother's Bed (My Mother who was very critical and a little judgemental of my decision to have the surgery) about 4 days after the surgery crying my eyes out to Mommy saying what did I do? I asked for this? LONGED for this? Paid for THIS? I was not necessarily in PAIN but I was all kinds of uncomfortable - painful discomfort! About a day later I realized that my biggest problem was the gas - I HAD never had painful gas in my life. It wasn't till I burped a big burp that gave me some relief that I though - could this be gas? How silly! Gas X took care of it. I took it easy for a good week after surgery. I'm now 6 weeks post op and I literally feel fabulous! 20 lbs down - tons of energy and just plain old excited about the possibilities. I look back on that night on the foot of my mom's bed and chuckle to myself. I hope soon you'll get to chuckle as well!