willowcat

I was thinking about people who've gained back most of their weight after wls, and just started wondering what sorts of attitudes, outlooks, self-talk, and mental traits help a person to be successful long-term? I'm currently in wls limbo waiting for all the pieces to fall into place, but I know hindsight is 20/20, and I want to learn from others who've already gone before me. What are the mental land mines that can get a person in trouble?

There was a 12-year study of morbidly obese and super obese patients who all had gastric banding. The study is online at http://www.obesitylapbandsurgery.com/ObesitySurgeryArticle.pdf Good results for long term weight loss and life expectancy.

1. Get rid of all of my ugly clothes--the clothes I have now do not reflect my sense of style--I only have them because they fit/camoflauge my current body! 2. Sweat when I'm hot without feeling like people are thinking things like, "She's only sweating because she's so fat." 3. sleep better--I hope. Also, quit taking some of my medicines (dr. approved of course).

Don't even get me started on highschool jerks--thank goodness that was 27 years ago, though. Also, my first real boyfriend who told me I was pretty from the "waist up" (I'm pear-shaped). Thankfully now I'm a stronger person--"What doesn't break you only makes you stronger" is what they say. Still, two summers ago I was coming back from visiting a friend who lives in Africa...The last leg of my trip was a 10-hour flight from Germany. I had flown coach because of the cost, and since it was summer, the flight was 100% full. I had a window seat. An older lady and her husband sat next to me. I was squished to say the least, but did my best to keep to myself and make myself as "small" as possible. We'd been in the air about two hours and my seatmates and I all got up for a bathroom break and a stretch. I got back to my seat before the lady and her husband did, so I put the armrest up--so I had more room and could relax a little until they came back. Of course I wasn't going to leave it like that. Well, the old lady noticed that the arm rest was up and I swear she all but leaped over the rows in front of us to come over and slam down the arm rest! I told her that she didn't need to do that, because I wasn't going to leave it up, and that I thought her behavior was very rude. She replied that "They should make fat people like you buy two seats." I told her to shut up! Then she said that everyone "felt sorry" for her when they saw that she had to sit by me. I told her that now everyone felt sorry for me because I had to sit next to her because she was such a b**ch. I got up to try to move seats, but then remembered that the flight attendant had already told me that the flight was 100% full (also, I didn't want to give the old lady the satisfaction of "winning"). I said, "No. I'm not going anywhere. It'll be far more delicious to sit here and watch you suffer for the next eight hours--and I'm SPREADING out!" And that's just what I did. It was a miserable flight, though, and even though I fought back, I sure could have done without the whole ugly scene.

OMG--isn't that all of us?! I've been dieting for the past 41 years! There have been times in my life that I weighed myself everyday multiple times a day (my scale was in the bathroom...and well, you know...). My days revolved around what I ate, didn't eat, wanted to eat, shouldn't have eaten.... Oprah resonates with people because when she talks about her weight, people can relate to it. Still, I've been none too kind to Oprah lately. It's a little bit satisfying (in a bad way, I know) to see Oprah gain weight again. All the research says that losing weight and keeping it off is practically impossible--the body's survival insticts kick in and save us from dying from starvation. The research also says that obesity is as much genetics as it is environment. When Oprah was successful losing weight, a little voice said, "She did it. Why can't I? What's wrong with me?" Now that Oprah's gaining weight again, that little voice can say, "There's nothing wrong with me. Even Oprah's getting fat again. See.. I told you."

Teresa, Wow! You really were just banded--11 days ago!Congratulations! Thank you so much for posting a reply!! Whew! That's really good news about Dr. Fisher! I'm still in the insurance approval stage of this whole process. At the pace this is going, though, I don't think I'll be getting banded anytime soon. Did you self-pay or did your insurance cover it? Kaiser Permanente says that they'll only pay 50%--even after waiting for them to approve the surgery! Do you happen to know how much Dr. Fisher and his team charge for the lapband? I'm going to need to dip into my savings account to cover my half (it would be kind of nice to know beforehand how much I'm looking at). Thank you for your reply.

After dieting for 40 years, I finally just gave up. All of the medical literature agrees that for many reasons, diets don't work for most people. I read the book, Intuitive Eating, and decided that I wouldn't spend anymore of my life being a slave to food. I learned to eat when I was hungry and to stop when I was full. I didn't lose weight, but I was no longer under food's emotional power. I actually became one of those "crazy" people who could take just a few bites of a candy bar and save the rest for some other time (never before could I do that when dieting--the no-no foods had to be eaten right away in their entirety because I was never ever going to eat that again!) I made peace with myself and had finally admitted to myself that I was a fat person. Always before, I couldn't admit that I was fat--I was just a "thin person trying to get out." So just like the Serenity Prayer says, I decided that being fat was not one of those things that I could control ("God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.). The only problem was that my new PCP just kept bringing up wls. During this last month, I've read a lot on this site (as well as others) and eventually I decided that I was ready to have lapband surgery. What stinks now is that I've lost my serenity! Now that I've come to believe that with the lapband I may actually be able to be a normal weight again, I can hardly stand being fat anymore! I hate my clothes more than ever! I can't stand squishing myself into my car's seatbelt! I hate that my knees hurt all the time! I hate that I can't get a good night's sleep anymore! I hate that I literally waddle when I walk! I'm very uncomfortable in my body now. What really stinks is that I'm possibly looking at 6 months until I even get a surgery date. I guess I need to accept that the (s-l-o-w!) process of getting to the surgery date is now another one of those things that I can't control--if only serenity were as easy to come by as is discontent! I feel all antsy--like a kid waiting for Christmas to finally get here. I call this new feeling the "Unbearable Fatness of Being." Does it eventually go away, or does it just get worse until you finally get the surgery and start to really lose weight?

You can't "spot lose" weight because you gain and lose weight all over your body; it would make sense that even one's private parts will change with a large weight loss--they changed with a large weight gain, but we were so busy watching our buns or boobs get bigger that we didn't pay much attention to the less obvious parts. I have noticed that there's a little "pillow" on top of my pelvic bone--it wasn't there when I first met my husband. The mechanics of female pleasure don't seem to be working quite so well for me at this heavier weight. Since reading this thread, I'm actually looking forward to possibly losing that little pillow--I'm not sure I need so much "cushion for the push'n"!:thumbup:

Yikes! I hope my PCP is wrong when he said that the whole process will take about six months! That would put me in May 09! By then all of you January-banders will be posting your significant weight loss! :thumbdown: I'll be cheering you on--while I wait for my turn!

Put it in the trunk of your car.:thumbdown:

Does anyone know the WHY of not using spices anymore? That doesn't make sense to me. I love ethnic food--because of the spices. Garlic can make just about anything taste good, not to mention cayenne pepper, oregano, and curry! I don't see why having the lapband would prevent the use of spices. Also, given that the stomach has such a thick lining (even at the upper end of the stomach where food sits after banding), it doesn't make sense to say that the spices would be irratating. I like to know "why"--not just because the doctor said so--what's the doctor's reasoning?

Is it saliva? Stomach acid? How does having your band too tight cause "slime?" What's it feel like? Does it have a taste? An odor? How often does it happen? Has anyone never have slime?

Thanks for bringing this up. Advil is the ONLY thing that stops my menstral cramps--which are AWFUL (as a teenager they would make me sit and cry because nothing would touch them and they are so painful)! I'm at the start of this journey and haven't had any meetings with anyone yet. I'll remember to talk to my surgeon about Advil--also my anti-depressent pills.

Great thread! I've only just begun my journey. I have just recently made the decision that lbs (hmm...anyone ever notice that "lbs" for "lapband surgery" is the abbreviation for "pounds"?) is right for me. Just last week I was thinking about things that would change with the lapband, and I thought of how much I hate my clothes. I hate them because they're not me. My clothes are just camouflage for my fat. Don't get me wrong--I like myself--my self-esteem is not dependent on my weight (at least not anymore--after much 12 step work and therapy!), I'm tired of picking clothes based on what I can find to fit and not based on what I like. I can't wait to donate my "fat" clothes to charity!

Which is better: a bariatric surgeon who performs several different kinds of wls or one whose entire practice seems to be devoted to just one type? I want lap band surgery done. Today, my PCP referred me to a surgeon who is a member of a bariatic surgery team at a certified center (and lap band is one of three that he performs). I like that he's local, but there are other surgeons about an hour away that do lap band proceedures almost exclusively. Which is better?! Help, feeling a bit nervous. Thanks for your reply. <!--IBF.ATTACHMENT_57397--> <!-- THE POST -->

Anyone ever go to him/hear anything about him? I had my first referral visit with my PCP today and he referred me to Dr. Fisher. I'm a little leary, because my PCP had only ever heard of Dr. Snyder in Aurora doing lapband surgery. He'd never even heard of Dr. Kirshenbaum. Apparently, Dr. Fisher does the other wls and I got the impression that he "of course" is able to do the lapband surgery. I like that Dr. Fisher is local (I live in Colorado Springs), but would like more information--I don't want him practicing on me! :eek: Thanks for your reply.

You asked for advice...so, here's my two-cents worth: celebrate! I think 40 lbs in little more than three months is a wonderful weight loss! What if you had gained 40 lbs in three months? Wouldn't you be appalled with how fast you were gaining? I guess it's a "glass half-full/half-empty" thing, but I would go for the "half-full" attitude--you'll reach goal eventually. Think how long it took for you to get to your highest weight--why does it feel like loosing it should take less time (I know it does though--we always want what we want asap)? Trust your doctor; she says it's a healthy weight loss.

Thank you to everyone who has replied to my original post. Thank you for being so understanding and so honest about your own journeys and experiences pre and post banding. I am taking to heart the suggestion from many to look within myself to know if or when this would be right for me. Thanks!

The last two times I've been to the doctors he's asked me if I've ever thought of bariatric surgery. I said that yes, I had, and that there was no way in H-E-double hockey sticks that I would ever have any of those proceedures done! Yesterday he asked me again if I'd ever thought of it, and he started telling me about the hospital's extensive support program and the surgeons who perform the proceedures. I began to cry. It seems like some kind of insanity to me--a modern day labotomy! And yet I've been dieting since I was 14 (not always healthy diets, but always highly restictive), and after deciding that I've had "enough" I just gave up. I decided that if I was going to be fat anyway that I might as well accept it. This is who I am. I have come to accept myself, and probably for the first time since I was a child, I would say that my self-esteem is not wrapped up in my body size. Unfortunately, my body is starting to hurt--my knees and feet hurt most of the time; I have to squeeze into chairs with arms (don't get me started on coach seating on planes!); my car's seatbelt is becoming constricting; I'm having sleep problems. The lapband seems like the lesser of two evils, but still an awful way to live the rest of one's life. That I can even consider the lapband is a big step, but everything inside me is still yelling "NO!" I've been on plenty of diets--the hope, the early stage euphoria, the platues, the defeat, the failure. How is this really different? I'm not trying to be a downer. I'm trying to see if I can wrap my head around this. I'm 45. Can I really stand to eliminate good-tasting food for the rest of my life?! Also, how long does the band really last? Will lapbanders still have their lapbands 40 years from now? Thanks for being understanding.