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HEy Heather hang in there........... CPS did get 900,000 thousand restored. But that only save about 24 positions. We still lost over 100 people and lots of programs shut down. Including mine..... Overall we lost 14 million to and the 1 million just didn't cover much. We were supposed to get 3 million but last minute I think they had to give it back to another department so the funding fell through.................Everything is very chaotic right now.

Ok Riley so I am not the only one. I feel better getting some good sleep..............in some way this job is good it is forcing me to get up early and go to bed early....... got a case today a 4 year old with cancer. Getting chemo and needs morphine. Crazy dad forgets the morphine...........bad enough but when I go out the kid is in the hospital for swine flu too...................tomorrow I go out to see parents of a baby born positive for THC........this is crazy stuff!!

Welcome to all the new people!! :-) I am so outta touch lately!! I plan to be there on the 24th :-) I miss everyone. I am reading up every couple of days but just no energy to comment................ Donna would be so proud I am getting in my 9 hours of sleep every night. Going to bed by 9pm and up by 6am to head out...........Much better than my old 12am in bed and up by 7am.............I am starting to like going to bed early!! So let the weight fall off me now!! :-) Ok about 8 baby spoons of lentils and cheese and totally full..........I guess the sausages won't go down tonight. Problem is my stomach growls really loud all day but when I sit down to eat not much goes down..........I don't think I am still hungry but the growling is embarrassing. I am thinking protien shake or a protien shots too.................. Ok TMI I know but all this protien causes some digetive problems as in I can't go............even drinking 80 ounces of water and still can't go..............need to buy some benefiber...........Oh did I mention I am burned out on salad right now...........I don't like salad right now.........shocking...........I have this thing with protien that is the only thing that sounds good lately............I am weird I know...........!! Oh getting ready to head to bed!! Got my girl here with me and I want to chill with her before I go to bed at .........ah 9pm!! LOL ...........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Yep I hope once I know what I am doing I won't have to work so much and so late............the stupid 1 hour commute both ways is what is doing me in.............I am to tired when I get home to get online..........just clean things up and go to bed. Three day weekend coming up through.........geez I am just to old to start a new job. They are getting ready for more layoffs too in November.............I think I will be ok but January could be a problem...........

Ah why can't Donna do the walk?? I missed something. Is everything going ok?? Well I do have restriction but I am not losing real fast. I mean I can only eat a tiny amount of anything. I think I need to journal again. I think I am not eating enough again. But new job, tight band.........not feeling like eating to much. And it has been hot to...........but who knows I need to figure out if I am eating to little more to much........... I might not go back for a fill on the 29th. I think I am good like I am at 5.5CC's.......unless I lose alot I don't want to be tighter. This is tight but I can still get my water in............so...........I will email Dr. BAggs and see what he thinks............

Hey everyone..... Busy day in and out of hospitals all day!! I don't know about this job I am totally lost right now........... Lots of long hours so far. Tamra sorry about the lay off I totally hear ya. I might be back onthe chopping block in November. And I know I can't afford Cobra........... I have restriction. Boy do I have restriction. I don't want another fill on the 29th unless I losee alot. I really can't eat to much right now........stay full and if I stop in time I don't PB but can't eat alot at all.

Hello All I survived my first week!! Not sure yet what to think. I leave at 7am and get home at 6:00 so it has been crazy. But I think it will be ok...........

MOrning all!! Well said Reggie!! I totally agree. Maria: congrats My band is tight and I have restriction but the scale is not moving. I think/hope it will suddenly move by 5 or 6 pounds cause I haven't been eating much it or I get stuck. Gotta journal again........... Ok so off to the new job........so I lost all my pre approved vacation and my 9/80 and was told that this is NOT an 8-5 job most days!! I don't know how long I will be able to stay being a single mother..........but I am gonna try . If I can learn to work fast...........I hope I can keep the late hours to a minimum!! WEll see but still looking for other jobs too...........budget passes today and than final vote on friday..........I am hoping to go back to my old job if we get funding. The hours are better for being a single mother..........but hey holding on to this job until I find something better.......... :-) Not gonna let it go in this econonmy!!

Nicole google Domestic violence and the honeymoon stage.............you need to read up on things. They promise anything when they are trying to get your back!! Why didn't the police take him to jail? Did you have marks or bruises? Did the baby? Seriously I am not convinced he will follow through I think he is just saying what ya want to hear right now. CPS has either 2 hours or 10 days to respond. If they have not come out or called within 10 days your ok. But if thej police were out and took a report you will probably have CPS at your door in a few days...............I go out on DV stuff ALL THE TIME this is normal proceedure~ I used to be to able to look up names and could tell you if you have a referral in the system but we can't do that anymore.

Nicole you know I have been through this myself as well when my daughter was a baby.............she unfortunetly did see to much and she remembers!! I finally had to leave since I was working on me but he wasn't willing to work on him. Geez this all sounds way to familiar but if I can leave and make it as a single mom you can too........ Just do what is best for you and AUDS. Maybe if you leave he will finally get some help with some of the stuff he has to deal with............seriously though him following you and using AUDS crying to get to you......than this newest incident............he is esculating his behavior is getting a bit worse all the time..........what is next? Again I feel for MIke he is in a hard spot too...........but seriously I think you guys need a break.............AUDs will start to act up and won't sleep.............she is gonna starting acting out if you guys keep this up............ Call me!! WE need to talk...............geez how is your eating with all this crap going on?

Nicole girl you know I am gonna read this........... Don't panic but most of the time the police will make a CPS report when this happens so you might have CPS at your door in the next week. Yea I support you guys trying to work it out but if he is getting physical you need to get out. NOt saying it will never work out again but you need to be separated so you can each work on your own stuff for awhile. Here is the thing. If CPS comes out beat them to things and cover your bases. Be protective of AUDS and let them know your can protect her..........YOu might need to get a restraining order when you move out. CPS will make ya get one if this gets reported to CPS........... WEAVE also will let you and AUDS stay with at the shelter for a few days............pretty decent place I have been there before........seriously if you need any help let me know. AUDS can't be watching this. If she has any marks or bruises because of the fall they will call failure to protect ...........it they come out let me know. Hopefully the police won't report this but if they do they will refer you to WEAVE and him to anger management.........they may aske you to take AUDS and leave or ask you to file for custody............. Seriously girl we need to talk...........AUDS can't be watching this........but you already know that!!

Wow lots of new people!! We are growing............ This new job was ok. Sorta boring since they gave me the whole day to unpack. A couple of my co workers got assigned there with me so that was nice to know someone.........I ended up going to the old office to work all afternoon since they are short staffed and I had nothing to do.......... I am in training the whole week. So lots of relaxing and sitting around..........sorta a nice change from the last month. THan two weeks of following someone around watching them do visits!! LOL. I could teach someone how to do homevists but ok I will try this.................LOL. The nice things is a good friend of mine is in this office. She got RNY 18 months ago and has lost 156 pounds so far..........she is a work out diva so I have someone to walk with at lunch.............nice to have someone in the office that "gets it"...............I invited her to our support group!! Maybe in October........... I am happy to have someone in the office that gets it!! I might end up telling people since she has told people in the office and they are all supportive............who knows. Anyway do I like the new job. NOt realy but I will get used to it. I miss my co workers and my comfort zone..........but I figure in a month I will get used to it and be fine!! I was in Bandster hell by the second week Candra and Jes. So I hear ya.............right now I have restriction. I could use a tiny bit more. But I got stuck on crouton at lunch so I am feeling my band for sure right now.............lots of protien but I did have a brownie tonight...........darn I think my daughter has to take them to school cause they are to good..........but at least only one ...........more and they get stuck!! :-)

Wishing all a good week. Candra who is Kim??? I am so outta touch right now!!:-P

Oh went shopping today for my "new" job. I have to dress up more now..........****sigh****.........I was able to get out of Lane Bryant and go to the Limited and New York and COmpany my old stomping grounds..........I am in XL and 14/16 so I barely make it but found some things that fit.......... Also went to VS and got new bras. Seems I have been wearing the wrong size I went down two sized but didn't realize it. Candra my cup size is the same but the band has gone down two sizes!! So I don't know if I can offer you much home of shrinking that ladies..........LOL So Ladies I start this darn new job tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it!! I hate starting over again.....and geez right back to the office was was working at 8 years ago. I have come full circle now!! Gearing up for a long commute tomorrow..........I hope I like this new job. My program manager and supervisor pulled me aside on Friday before I left my office and the PM told me that she wants me to come back once the dust settles and some positions open up!! I told her I am coming back as a supervisor next time!! LOL. She told me she could see that happening..............I am hoping in the next six months to be back up closer to my home and back with my coworkers who had enough senority to stay............. Still traumatized by the craziness of the last month. ...........trying to recover!! Did I say I HATE starting new jobs!! I just want to get back to the routine and have some sanity in my life.......... BOS meets this week and if they approve funding I might get pulled back to my old job in two weeks. For now I am working with babies born with drugs in their system and with medically neglected children so off to the hospitals I go. Please pray for me that I don't let my bad attitude about my employer blurt out tomorrow...................cause I am so pissed off right now about how messed up the last month has been!!

Hey Everyone I missed you all yesterday. First one I have missed since April 2009. It will be a long month until the next one!! :-( So sad I missed getting to meet the new people and yep once a month is not enough. Everyone is looking great!! And Candra loving you in dresses!! Nicole and Pam you girls must be at goal your looking so thin. Jes I hope that green goes away. Everyone else so sorry I missed out ........next time!! So this fill is starting to work. I am down 2 pounds. Weird thing is I have been able to eat bread now......I had a vege burger (with wheat bun) today and it goes down fine now. Granted I only could eat a 1/3 of it and gave the rest to my daughter. But the thing with bread is over now as long as I only take a few bites it works!! Not sure if that is good or bad yet!! I didn't feel my fill all all until late yesterday and I got the fill on Thursday. So we will see where I am in a couple of weeks and TOM. But at this point I could use just a bit more of a fill cause I get hungry to soon. But I can't eat more than 1/2 a cup at this point without getting stuck. So far no PB's but i am stopping as soon as I get that "feeling" no more bites once I "feel" my band and no PB'ing for over a month now............ I am very close to my sweet spot I think...............

I won't be there this time ..........I am headed up to Tahoe. Just need a break from regular life before I start my new job. THis last week just about did me in and yesterday was hard...........so we are headed up the hill to see family!! Next month I will be there. Love ya guys and Nicole I agree with Jes you really need to go especially now when things are so hard!! Don't isolate and I am telling myself the same thing I know i have been isolating a bit and I plan to correct that cause it is hurting me........hard to stay on track without a support system in place.

i will still transfer than have to decide if I want to work part time...............truth is everything is so up in the air of alot of people retire than I go back and am one of the six to stay in the office..........But first the Board has to vote next friday.......if they approve the layoff for 7000 county employees go out next.........than people have two weeks to decide if they will go to parti time. If no the county said they will report you to unemployment as "refused job" and your benefits are gone if you don't come back........alot of people are gonna just retire instead of coming back .......so I could get moved again next month.......... I actually am hoping I get the other job I interviewed for earlier this month. It just opened up officially Thursday. So I am hoping............:-)

Work was awful!! Alot of people called in sick and didn't show up. The people that were left were all weepy all day. OUt of 50 people in my office only 6 are staying. The rest of us are gone.................... They are laying the rest of us off next week. Than we can accept the layoff or come back part time. Reduced retirement and benefits. People are so upset that alot of people are retiring. We will see what that means next week. 300 people gone today to layoffs. It was a bad day...........I had to remove kids today too of all days!! :-)

Nicole Robin asked about you today!! Said she missed having you in the group and asked about you.........I told her you have a great fill and that your had moved and were doing ok? YOu coming on the 29th for a fill!!

Hey all, Just got back from my fill this morning. Nice little group today and so, so fun to see Riley and Jes today!! Jes you should have come into my fill too I wasn't thinking or I would have told you to come........... Back up to 5.5cc's. So far with soup I don't feel a difference. I don't know what is up with me. But maybe it will kick in. I have been really hungry for two weeks now. Stress I guess......... So Dr. BAggs and I talked about the Celexa and I got signed up by the psychatrist for some stress management or anxiety sorta class until I can see someone.......he said that is good but that is only once you need something more. I told him I am on the waiting list for counseling......and I think the Celexa is starting to kick in a bit. Makes me not want to eat so not complaining.........but geez don't take it right before bedtime cause it keeps me up!! I am just so emotionally wiped out right now.................stupid job and obvious I don't know how to handle stress very well cause I have been wanting to kick something hard all week!!! 200 Social workers leave tomorrow..........and my whole office will be empty Monday.........so much upset and stress at work........ MONDAY!! I will be in a new office and one co worker is going with me. I hope things will change from MOnday on. I plan to get back on track with exercise and my food log...........I am hoping for a positive change with the new job. THey drag out the sadness and stress at work for almost a month enough is enough........... Candra wish I had seen you today?? If I had know you were around I would have suggested lunch........oh well I will be back on the 29th of October. Donna thinking of you. Praying for ya!! Nicole: I hear ya my life is stressful now I am missing all you guys and plan to get back online here soon when things slow down........ Wishing everyone a great weekend!! Lurkers are totally welcome to join in!!

or they might shrink away................LOL :-)

Going to be at the National Child Abuse conference all day.........waiting for the final budget vote today to see where I ened up. I hear ya Pam I need a fill too. I have little restriction. I have been the same weight for almost 6 weeks now.........I was doing so well when I had restriction losing weight fast. This is definetely a set back. Glad I am going in on Thursday. Gonna miss your pink slip party!!:-P Rather have a fill that go to that kind of party. Oh off to work..........this is such a crazy week!!

Hey Ladies and Gents Long day!! No fun at work this week....... .200 people will be leaving on Friday!! Some of them good friends. The rest of us will be moving out of the office on Friday.......they kept five people who will stay. So weird......the office is emptying out. I think where I am going will be ok. REally long commute but I am thinking of shortcuts already.............trying to figure out the shortest way to go.................LOl. I am headed to bed exhausted..............

Yep Jes feels good........only thing is if the board approved any funding on Tuesday (they are voting on Tuesday) than I will get my position taken away and I will go back to my original position...........but I don't think they will approve enought money to save my position. I am planning to go to the new job unless I get another email moving me again.....LOL. Crazy county they did the reassignments before the budget was approved so they might have to take it all back this week and re assign!! LOL. I sure don't want to give up my reassignement I am liking it...........but if they put me back to my original spot I would know what I am doing. I am thinking I don't want to go back though..........I think I would rather have the new assignment!! :-) Better fit and something new........ I think the new spot has better job security since they won't cut an emergency unit but next round of layoffs in January they could get my old position if they don't get it now. So I still sorta waiting for the BOS to approve a final budget. But hey I figure I was reassigned so that might mean they already know CPS won't get addiction funding..............who knows!!

I had a swollen stomach for about 6 weeks ..........than it went down almost overnight. When the port stopped hurting the swelling went down. Darn port hurt for quite awhile. Now I can certainly fell it expecially when I bend over but it doesn't hurt anymore. I like knowing it is there. I am still at work. This is so crazy but making up my time when I am out in Pinole this week. I am packed up and down to 6 kids on my caseload from 52 two weeks ago. My supervisors office is literally piled with cases to close. We closed out almost 1000 kids in two weeks............sorta sad no one to watch these kids anymore. We had to just let everything go the last couple of week........some happy parents out there now that their cases are closed out. I don't know, I just don't know how this is gonna work.....but I am OUTTA here I have been working for two days now to get everything done!! I can relax the rest of the week!! I am in training Mon-Wed and than pinole on Thursday. Friday I move offices and I am done here :-)