redheather

Did anyone know I had a hipbone??? If you did, why didn't you tell me???!! I was lying there next to my friend the other day, just chatting and I had my arm laid along my side, when suddenly...I felt it... MY HIP-FAT HAD ALREADY BEGUN TO DEFLATE!! I jumped out of bed and ran, in tears, to my best friend. He, of course, was very concerned and inquired about my tears. "I am NOT ready for this!!!" Let me explain... For over four years, I have been actively pursuing the lap-band. I have done an unlimited amount of research, spoken to almost 1,000 people (I am not exaggerating), sought advice from doctors in every field, etc, etc...I could not have been better prepared mentally, physically, or emotionally for my "new life". I was happy to adopt this new lifestyle, the new diet, my new health!!! But, through all of this, there was one thing I am just not prepared for...my new size. I have ALWAYS been the fattest person I know. When I go to a bar, party, resturant, etc--I know how big I am and I also know that people know how big I am (I weighed 327 until yesterday). I learned to love my size--because it is the only body I have, and I use it as a defense. I know that guys won't approach me, people will gawk at me, and some will even avoid me. I feel powerful that I have this effect on people. They notice me...I don't notice them. And, for some reason, when I see a larger person, I feel a strange sense of "competition" with them. But now, that is changing--even as I type!! Through all of my soul-searching, goal focusing, and preparation for this...I never entertained the thought that I will be getting thinner. How ludicrous!! But, there it is, I never thought about how I will actually look. I admit, I am scared...my defenses are going to be lowered and I am not sure how things will be without my "fat fort". I am just trying to be optimistic about my new self-acceptance, and I thank God for the wonderful support structure I have. I have a lot of things to learn!!! Wish me luck, guys...whoever thought weight-loss would make you skinny??:crying:

I am so thrilled to read everyone's stories!! I just had my band put on 2 days ago (May 28th). After 4 years of jumping through hoops...my dream came to fruition!! My doctor was Vince Lusco III @ St. Mary's and Elizabeth hospital in Louisville KY. I highly recommend him, his group and the entire Sts M&E bariatric group to anyone looking for a surgeon in this area!!! I have never experienced such support and love from people as I have here!! There is even one of the RNs who had the band a couple of years ago--and she is a REAL help!! :w00t: My operation day was pure joy!! I was prepped, operated on and sent safely home in less than 8 hours!! AMAZING!! And I felt great!! The only "complaints" I guess I have are that my throat is a bit sore (from being intubated) and that my esophagus keeps spasming. But I hear that is all normal, so I am not terribly afraid.:tt2: I am so excited to get to start my new life!! A life free of diabetes, hypertension and, maybe sleep crapnea!!! I want to get back into high heels...and take ballroom dancing lessons with my Brian!!!:wub: