boringtessa
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Everything posted by boringtessa
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Is this it?
I have stopped losing weight and have been hovering between 215-225 lbs for 4 months. My 1-year surgery anniversary is coming up, which means that my "honeymoon period" is coming to an end. It's too late now for me. I am so disappointed. I only lost 50% of my excess weight; I had such high hopes that I could actually meet my goal. But I guess this is it, and I am so depressed about it. Like, what was even the point?! I made an irreversible change, and I have to live with the consequences without getting the benefits.
I've been avoiding going back to my surgeon because I have been so sooo embarassed by my lack of progress. What would he say? I like him, but he doesn't spend a lot of time with patients because he is so busy, and I just haven't been prepared to get a beat-down about the lack of weight loss. I mean, I haven't been doing everything perfectly, but I have been making much better choices and getting more exercise than before the surgery, but that wasn't enough, and now I'm doomed to be fat and unhealthy forever.
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Come post on the main board where we all see you. And in answer. You are still in the honeymoon. You can STILL lose weight. But, maybe YOU personally can't do anything BUT be perfect? Maybe you have to go back to your forever diet basics and follow the book? Maybe quit the cheats. Start weighing daily. Plan, weigh, measure and post all your food in a journal like MFP.
I will tell you honestly, if I didn't do that, no way would I be where I am now. I don't know too many of the posters here who would be. Most of us who have above average success in % put a heller amount of work into our daily food plans. And no, we're not perfect, but we do not try to wing it. Cuz we know that way leads to maintenance and not loss.
For me to lose, SLOWLY, I have to keep my cals consistently in the 650-850 range, 50-80g protein, and usually around <35g of carbs. It's sad. But true. ANd that's my reality. But the payoff of seeing the scale move is worth way more than that "fill in the blank" off plan food or drink. Just sayin.
Follow up with your doc. It's important and maybe your RD can help. Maybe you need to also see a therapist to help with the head work? Maybe there is a medical issue that needs to be addressed? Follow up hon. All else is pure speculation.-
Lynnlovesthebeach and boringtessa reacted to this
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@FluffyChix Thank you so much for taking the time to reply, and thank you for your advice. You're right, of course, I need to stop being complacent about my intake and really get control over it.
So I will make an appointment to see my surgeon again and try to find a therapist. Again, I appreciate your response. I've just been feeling so sorry for myself.
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FluffyChix reacted to this
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From the album: VSG 10/03/17 Progress
06/20/18 v 02/18/19 -
From the album: VSG 10/03/17 Progress
10/04/18 v 02/17/19 -
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Oh, man, I was at work sitting at my desk, and suddenly found that I was crossing my legs! I mean, not completely knee-over-knee, but it's a total Non-Scale Victory for me - I've never really been able to cross my legs!
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Thought I'd give an update. I'm over half way to my goal, which is awesome, and I've lost over 12 inches in my waist! The weight isn't coming off as quickly as I had hoped, but I am also not exercising and still not getting even close to the amount of water I should be drinking, so slow weight loss is not all that surprising. Sometimes I'm just "over it" and try to eat huge portions like I used to, but, thankfully, I feel the restriction of my smaller stomach and can't go crazy. In general, I'm quite good, just trying to live my life.
I now have a motivation to start exercising, though... I booked a plane ticket to Germany for the end of September, so this is a good chance to get strong, get hydrated, and reach my weight goal.
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Changing HOW I eat is so hard. I mean, I knew it would be hard, but now I'm actually IN it. I should have been working on it earlier, this frantic eating. Whenever I have food in front of me, it's like I haven't eaten in days, I just frantically shovel food into my mouth. Now that I'm doing purees (and starting soft foods), the same thing is applying - I go into a frenzy when there's food around! It is taking almost everything in me to slow down. In fact, I have had two soft food meals so far in which I over-stuffed myself because I wasn't eating slowly enough. Ugh, that feeling, nauseated and uncomfortable, but also just so so "hungry". In fact, I am still feeling the effects over 24 hours later. I know that it's not real hunger, it's just an automatic reaction to having food around, but it feels so real and keeps me shoving food in my mouth even when I don't want to. I am hoping that I can improve in this area, that I can quiet my food desperation and appetite, but I know it's going to take work and willpower on my side - something I've always had trouble summoning on my behalf. I have not been doing well with hydration. My skin is dry and flaking and my mouth and eyes are dry. But it's hard to drink water because I feel nauseated and it still kinda hurts my stomach. Waiting 30 minutes before and after food is NOT working out for me - I just can't seem to get enough fluid in! I don't know what to do. Exercise is also something I'm failing at. I haven't done any form of exercise since I got back from the hospital. Like, what am I thinking? I know this is an important part of my new lifestyle, but I forget (because it wasn't a part of my previous lifestyle) or I just keep telling myself I'm healing and I'm too exhausted from not eating. Or my skating rink is closed, as if that's my only option for exercise. So many excuses. Other than these things, I do seem to be doing well. My incisions are healing nicely, I really haven't had any intolerances to anything. I'm just falling behind on things and being a bad bariatric patient. I'm working on it, I need to put more into my efforts.
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Stalls are the WORST. I know they happen, but I am still disappointed. I've been the same weight for over 2 weeks.
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I bet you're losing inches!
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boringtessa reacted to this
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@CrankyMagpie, I actually just now measured (I usually measure once a month), and it looks like I WAS losing inches - that makes me feel better.
How have you been doing? Have you stalled at all?
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CrankyMagpie reacted to this
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I'm doing OK. Losing slowly, but then, I can't be too mad: I'm also not exercising. (My ankle is still messed up, which rules out walking any distance, but now that the semester's over and Christmas gifts are shipped, I'm going back to the pool starting tomorrow.) I must have eaten something salty or something, because I was actually up two pounds when I looked at the scale the other day! It's gone, now. So technically no stalls since my first month, but no rocket-fast weight loss, either. Just really really slow and steady.
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I am struggling. I've been depressed, so I've felt totally "over it" in terms of staying on plan. While I've mostly been eating what I should be eating (but erring most on the side of fatty foods), I'm eating way too much throughout the day, having many small meals even when I'm not hungry because I'm sitting at home bored, I'm exhausted and dehydrated and can't get myself to sleep less than 10-12 hours let alone exercise (even roller skating, which I love). I feel like am doing this all wrong and am paying the price with a stall.
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I am sorry to hear you are struggling. Do what you need to do to stay healthy mentally and physically. I hope you can get to the other side of your depression. Hang in there.
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boringtessa reacted to this
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I was dreading Thanksgiving, thinking I would be miserable not eating tons of every dish served, but it wasn't terrible at all! I ate very little (it was a little alarming to see how little food I had on my plate), but I didn't feel like I missed out on anything. I even ate a sliver of pie... and still lost weight. Now that I know it's possible, I'm feeling better about Christmas - I'll just make sure there are things I can eat, I'll remember that I don't need to eat much to feel fulfilled, and I'll take it easy on myself if I mess up.
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Protein shakes??
boringtessa replied to Excited for a new me's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
I'm a big fan of Unjury protein powder - they have a couple savory ones, which make a nice change from the sweet. I like their Chocolate Splendor, and their Unflavored is very useful. For the savory ones, I like to use the Southwest Chili flavored one in some beef broth for a nice savory (and a little spicy) hot drink - just make sure not to heat the protein powder over 140 degrees F (it changes the texture). -
30 second elevator interview
boringtessa replied to GreenTealael's topic in Gastric Sleeve Surgery Forums
36, single (and loving it!), nerdy, PC gamer, board game collector, former musician, Christian... I traveled to Germany last year, and now I've got a mean case of the Wanderlust, too (@greentealael)! -
Looks, Health, Mobility, Longevity.....Rank these motivations for surgery
boringtessa replied to Creekimp13's topic in General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions
HEALTH LOOKS/ROMANCE - I've never had a serious relationship or any interest from "compatible" men... I'm a content-by-necessity single in my late 30s, so it is about dang time that I go out, turn heads, have a little fun, and make a few (safe) mistakes. MOBILITY LONGEVITY - Not something I usually worry about. FAMILY - I'm single with no kids, so this wasn't one of my reasons. -
Today was a weighing/measuring day, and I've discovered that I've lost 10 inches in my waist since the beginning of August! This is great news, as I carry most of my weight in my belly, which is no good. I'm glad I am measuring because I can see results even though I'm going through a stall.
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That is fantastic! I'd love to lose that much from my waist! Congrats!
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boringtessa reacted to this
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That is great news! I cannot wait to be smaller in the waist!
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boringtessa reacted to this
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I'm a little over 5 weeks out from surgery, and I am just so lethargic, I don't want to do anything, not even rollerskating, and that's something I love. I've been able to get sufficient protein and I've been taking my vitamins, but I am not getting even close to enough water - it has been difficult to fit in the sipping when I need to wait 30 minutes before and after a meal and I've been eating 4 or 5 very small meals a day (or maybe 3 meals and 1-2 snacks). It seems absolutely impossible to get enough water, but everyone else seems to do fine. Food-wise, I'm still basically just eating cheese and lunchmeat because nothing else seems to sit right. It's possible I'm just depressed, since my life has been about gourmet food, and now I have to eat bland, uninteresting things. I know it'll get better, but right now I just can't life very well.
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Hang in there. It improves. Try sf popsicles, and many of us drink right up to 10 minutes before eating, it's more important to have the 30 minutes after the meal. At five weeks you still need protein shakes and bone broth. Anesthetic takes awhile to leave the body and you are in recovery from major surgery give it time to get your energy back, it took me awhile. Also hormones are out of whack and can cause your mood to be down. Take naps, try to get more liquid in.
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boringtessa reacted to this
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Well, I hit my first stall - I weigh the same as I did when I weighed a week ago. I know for a fact that I need to get more exercise, but even so... it still seems odd to me that, even though one is eating less than 600 calories/day, one could stop losing weight. BUT I was warned about stalls and it's not a surprise and I'm not even that upset about it.
I'm still struggling with food, but I think that, even though eating too fast was part of it, I've been trying to eat foods that my sleeve can't tolerate yet - I don't think pain when eating is supposed to be normal. It's just so weird not to be able to eat everything I want; I mean, I've never had a problem with any food in my pre-surgery life, my stomach could tolerate everything, but it's obvious now that that isn't the case any longer. So I'm backing off, eating soft foods again, trying to be gentler with my body, introducing one new thing at a time, still working on eating more slowly. It's just such a shame to have to throw away so much of the food I made recently.
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Somehow, even in spite of the pain after every meal, I can't seem to get myself to eat more slowly. I want to eat slowly, but my brain still gets frantic whenever it's food time. I'm afraid I might be stretching my sleeve, which could be dangerous at only 1 month since surgery. Don't know what to do other than just go back to liquids, but I can't stay there forever!
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Have you tried the usual strategies? Putting down knife and fork between bites and leave there until about 30 seconds after you've swallowed the previous mouthful. Deliberately slowing down the chewing and counting each chew until 30 or 40?
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MzToya and boringtessa reacted to this
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I always intend on doing those things, but I go into a frenzy! But you're right to remind me of this because I NEED to make more of an effort and do the basics. Thank you!
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Hop_Scotch reacted to this
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Thank you for sharing your experience! I haven't even thought of trying to get my fluids in any form other than plain water or at a temperature other than room temp, but I may have more success there, as you have. I'll give tea a try - thankfully I enjoy my tea unsweetened! You're probably right about the rollerskating - I don't normally fall, but it could definitely happen, especially since I haven't skated for a month. I just love it so much, I'm eager to get going, but it's more important to let my body heal. I could make a point of taking a short walk during my breaks at work. Have you started soft foods yet, or are you still doing full liquids/purees?
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How did you choose a goal weight?
boringtessa replied to PopsFury's topic in General Weight Loss Surgery Discussions
I chose by BMI - my goal is the weight right at the border of "Healthy" and "Overweight". Also, 150 is a nice, round number, and it is almost exactly half of my starting (and highest) weight. -
Boy, I did not realize how much money I was spending on food. Now that I've been on liquids for almost 3 weeks, I haven't spent basically anything. I mean, I was already stocked up on protein and vitamins before the surgery, and I will eventually need to spend money on that.... well, and I will need to start spending money on food this coming Wednesday when I move on to purees.... BUT STILL. I used to eat out every day (and not cheap fast food, but real restaurants), and it's no wonder I was kinda living paycheck to paycheck. But, boy, I did eat some delicious things. At any rate, that isn't the only thing I've noticed. Sitting around at home and at work, HUNGRY, I've been constantly thinking about food. My relationship with food, my future with food. Pre-surgery I was telling myself and others that eventually I'll be able to eat everything I want again, just smaller portions. Now I am realizing that that would be a complete mistake, that eating like that is why I'm so unhealthy in the first place, and I would be undoing the benefit of this "extreme measure" I took to get healthy. I love to bake, but I'm going to need to be careful now. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will probably never eat sugar the same way again - I will need to be extremely careful and use low-calorie options whenever possible and avoid candy (which I used to binge-eat); I'm kinda okay with this... I've been addicted to sugar, but my true love is UMAMI (savory flavor). So it will be harder for me to avoid fats like butter and olive oil, gravies, fancy cheese, coconut milk (in its role in Indian food). I am a foodie, and I want big, rich, complicated flavors! Thankfully, there are tons of calorie-free spices and low calorie condiments, but I'm not a good cook yet - something I will now work on, since I have no choice. So, I am nearly 50 lbs down from my highest weight when I started this journey in June - 14 lbs down since surgery. The power is off in my town, so I went to the city to a spice shop and treated myself to some delicious, aromatic spices. A fancy taco seasoning for the refried beans I'm going to eat on Wednesday (when I start purees), some Garam Masala for when I want to make something that tastes like Indian food, and a couple little tasters of spice blends to experiment with. One of the first non-food rewards... though, maybe it kinda IS a food reward.... but anyways, it doesn't involve calories going into my mouth. Healing-wise, I'm doing very well. So far, I haven't had anything that disagreed with me, haven't accidentally over-stuffed myself, haven't caused myself much pain. The worst part right now is the itching and scabs at the incision sites, which I have a compulsion to pick at. Thankfully there are still steri-strips there as a physical block to my wandering itch-seeking fingers. I hope to start purees on Wednesday (my 2-week surgiversary), but I might try some very liquidy purees ahead of time. I'm antsy to get started on real food, but I need to make sure I don't injure my healing stomach. Some friends of mine have been very kind to me - they are elderly people (and very very thin), and they said that they don't know what I'm going through having never struggled with weight, but they care about me and understand that it is going to be a difficult process and wanted to offer me actual money for meeting my goals! I was floored. I told them that that wasn't necessary, but thanks for the thought, but I think they might actually do it, saying that it'll be for my upcoming trip to Germany so I can be healthy and active and ready for anything. What kind, kind friends. AND My pastor and his wife, those dear people, gave me an incredible, thoughtful gift - a weighted blanket! I've always wanted one, I find the weight so soothing and comforting both for my body and for my anxious/depressed brain. I have been shown so much kindness lately, it has brought me out of the self-pity and has reminded me to be thankful. And I am. I'm also thankful for quick healing and no complications.
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Suggestions for what to bring to the hospital
boringtessa replied to Georgetown's topic in POST-Operation Weight Loss Surgery Q&A
The thing I found the most useful was an extension cord - made it easy to put my phone and charger right where I needed them. Also, underwear. I also brought my headphones and loaded an audiobook onto my mp3 player - so useful, I could keep entertained without having to keep my eyes open! The hospital was great, they provided me with socks as well as a toothbrush, toothpaste, mouthwash, and chapstick - boy, it felt so good to brush my teeth after hours of dozing in a hospital bed. I personally didn't need anything else I brought. -
Wow, that seems like a long time to have a drain, bleh. I'm sorry you had to live with it for so long. I just wanted to say how weird it feels when they take it out - so bizarre, like a snake moving around in there. And it was comically long, the doctor looked like a clown pulling a big line of handkerchiefs out. 😂
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Being an invalid is so boring. I want to go out and do something, but my body isn't ready at all. Thankfully, I haven't had much pain (other than the gas pains, which, thankfully, I was able to get rid of while still in hospital). Even in the hospital, my pain was relatively minimal, so I'm doing okay without the pain killers so far. I've been able to take my psych meds - most can be broken in half, so I only have to crush one of them. I've started taking my chewable vitamins, and there are no issues with those so far. All-in-all, It looks like I'm doing well! I'm a bit concerned about getting enough liquids in - I may be trying to push to hard, but every time I take a sip of something, it hurts a little and gurgles. I've tried hot, cold, and lukewarm, salty, sweet, plain water. I'm hoping that this will get better because I don't want to end up in the hospital with dehydration. A bit of me kinda wishes I was still in the hospital for that reason... Not that it was particularly pleasant, but it was nice to know that I wouldn't get dehydrated because I had an IV in. I don't know why dehydration is such a concern for me, perhaps because I've never been good about getting in my fluids. I haven't felt what I would call real hunger yet, so that is a relief, but I am craving foods that I can't have yet - specifically, refried bean puree spiced with taco seasoning! I don't know why I'm craving that so much, but I'm just really looking forward to it. I'm getting very very bored with clear liquids - I'm not enjoying broth like I thought I would, which is a shame. I'm feeling pretty down, probably because I'm so bored. Watching TV in the middle of the day makes me so uncomfortable! I'm kinda regretting the decision just a little, but when I remember what the doctor said about how big my liver was and how close I am to having cirrhosis, I know I've made the right choice. I mean, I know I made the right choice, anyways, but thinking about food is getting me down. It's not all about food. I have to remember that, even though my life revolved around food before, it doesn't have to - I can find other ways to be fulfilled. Looking forward to getting back to roller-skating and eating something with some spices in it!
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Well, I'm back! The surgery was Wednesday, but they made me stay until today (Friday)... not because I wasn't doing well, but because it is a requirement of the surgeon. I was actually impressing all the nurses with how well I was recovering. I was up and walking within a couple hours, absolutely determined to progress. AND the gas pains were surprising! It's really unfortunate that there isn't really anything they can do to help with the gas pains except encourage walking, but the drugs did a great job with the incision pain. It was very boring at the hospital - I thought I had loaded my mp3 player with audiobooks, but of course that wasn't working. There was TV, but there was nothing interesting on it. I pretty much sat around staring at nothing for hours, ugh. Eventually, I remembered to text my people to let them know I was alright, and I was able to get some sleeping medication to knock me out. Everyone at the hospital was so nice and incredibly helpful, I felt like I was being taken great care of. The surgeon said that my liver was HUGE, and that, without weight loss, I'd have cirrhosis within 5 years... yikes! It is a good thing I was able to have the surgery - just another reason that I NEEDED to do something drastic. I'm getting a little nervous about hydration - 64 oz seems like a lot of liquid now that I can only take in a tiny bit of water at a time. So far, I haven't been able to get down much liquid at all, it feels a little uncomfortable and gets all gurgly, but I will keep trying. Well, anyways, I'm back and well!
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Alright, after surgery on the 3rd, I'm finally home from the hospital, safe and doing well! A little out of it, but feeling good, feeling like I've done the right thing!
