mngreeneyes

I can relate. I am still very early (about a month from my decision) in this process, but I am not sure about telling my family either. It being surgery, so I probably will have to. Its not as though they won't notice something is up, but I just am not sure about their reaction. Is it better to "ask" for permission or for forgiveness? I know it will hurt them if I don't tell them, but they have never been good about being helpful on my other weight loss attempts. They do things they think are helpful, but truly aren't. My friends have been great and wonderfully supportive. I have a couple of friends lined up to help/let me stay with her post-op. I have one friend that is supportive, but very practical, who has been asking good questions to make sure I have all the answers I need before I have surgery. My knee jerk reaction to her initially was I don't want to talk to you anymore, but then I realized that her questions were really valuable and came from such a good place. I have promised this friend and my boss that I will talk to my psych. about it and will follow his advice/plan of action about whether and how to tell my family. I have slowly continued to tell my friends. I will not be saying anything at work beyond that I am having surgery. They will notice and I am sure ask after, but I'll deal with that then. Its truly not any of their business. I work in a terribly dysfunctional department so I dont' want to become any further a part of the dysfunction.

That's a great idea. I can't do that with most of my family, but Mom and maybe Dad would come to an informational session. I want to make sure things are rolling and I have answers to my own questions before I tell them. Thank you for the suggestion. pam

I am just beginning this part of my journey. (This is my first post!) I had my informational session on Wednesday and have my initial clinic visit on August 7. I am single so its not a SO that I am worried about. Its my parents and brothers, to the point that I am trying to figure out if I want to tell them. I am the only morbidly obese person in my family although my mom's mom was larger than I am. They have never been good at supporting me when I was trying to lose weight in the past. I know they mean well, but they have a bad habit of fat shaming. I have promised one of my friends that before I decide NOT to tell them, I have to discuss it with my psychologist.Any suggestions on talking to them about the surgery? Anything that worked well for you talking to someone who hadn't been supportive before? pam