OregonHolly

food was my "best friend" and companion since age 11 (those painful years of puberty and learning where we fit in the big wide world...) and as I prepare for banding I feel almost a sense of sadness that I will be saying goodbye to food as I had known it. Food was my "lover" - always available, there to comfort and entertain me, favorite textures and flavors were seductively delightful, and recipes and cooking was fun and creative. The problem was, I was "in love" with food in the same way as sometimes I found myself in love with men - with abandon and lack of restraint - absolutely unwilling to see how my lover" was hurting me in ways I didn't want to acknowledge - leaving "my lover" (dieting) "for good this time!" and then returning over and over for more abuse. Can anyone relate to this? Now as I get ready to say "farewell my lover" to that relationship with food, I feel a bit of sadness over that "relationship" that was so damaging, a glimmer of grief that my "love" had harmed me so and I had allowed it to happen. :think Maybe I'm just grieving the lost years stuck in that one-way relationship with food? Has anyone else experienced this? I long for my "new life" as a bandster, learning to put food in it's rightful place in my life (i.e. nourishment for the body - not the soul)...... yet there is a sadness to the letting go as well, like leaving a partner who has hurt and wounded you. I read that some people feel depressed after banding and I guess that maybe I'm having a bit of "pre-banding" depression. Hopefully after surgery I won't go through that depression. Maybe after banding, when my self esteem finally starts to climb, I'll actually be open to receiving love and comfort from -- gasp - HUMANS (what a risk!) and life as I have known it will really change. Or am I expecting too much? See this smiley icon >>> this is how I want to feel after banding and saying goodbye to my dysfunctional relationship with food: :clap2::clap2: Can anyone relate? Share?

Thanks everyone, I'm feeling better about this surgery already! I'll be cash pay, and facing that kind of expense with that old ugly "negative voice" in my head telling me "You can't do it, you always fail, you'll gain it back before you get your bill paid off..." is scary! So really while I'm focusing on the lifestyle changes, I need to be focusing on shutting up that negative voice FOR GOOD. I never really had much support before, just doubting family members giving me "the look" after I lost weight and saying "you look great, try to keep it off this time...". I'll turn to this board for the encouragement and support I need, as well as to the local support groups. I'm proud to be among a group of such strong "warriors" in this challenging battle. I can do it. I can!

I'm a newbie (no surgery yet) with a question for you old time bandsters: banding requires a serious lifestyle change - new eating habits, less dependence on food, increased activity level (i.e. exercise, yikes), close medical supervision, etc. I understand that. My worry and fear is this: I've never been too good at making serious lifestyle changes in regards to my weight/health -- if I had, I'd be thin and healthy! Surely I'm not alone here, right? So how do people go from being undisciplined eaters who don't exercise - to being a changed person after banding? If I failed before banding - will I fail afterwards too? I don't want to, I really feel motivated! But I always felt motivated before starting all the other gazillion diets too! :help: Please share your story about how you made the switch to new healthy behaviors after banding -- especially those of you who were once like me -- constant failures at "lifestyle change". I want to be successful this time, but will I be? I know myself and I'm scared of failure...:phanvan

Hi all, my name is Holly and I've been lurking on this excellent site. What a relief to have this great online community to join! Tonight I'm going to my "educational seminar" at the local hospital. So many of my questions have already been answered by reading the posts here, everyone is so supportive and informative. I guess my main question/worry is this: having a Lap-Band requires a serious comittment to a lifestyle change, and so far I really suck at making a serious lifestyle change - if I was good at it I'd be THIN and healthy already! I'm sure I'm not alone, right? How do others who are banded finally make the "jump" (or is it more like CLIMB?) to a new lifestyle after all the past failures? I'm anxious to meet you all :-) thanks for any responses!

Hello, I'm an Oregon newbie too! I'm in Medford. Tonight I go to my seminar, after reading and researching and agonizing over this decision! But I'm ready, I'm excited, "bring it on!" Nice to meet you. Where do you and your friend live?