lisa1977

Thank you for the support. I'd like to say I was only a size 2 for a few years, from childhood to age 25 I was always a big girl 180 lbs often called pork chop legs etc. It's devastating for me as I got a taste of what small feels like and losing it is crushing. I've done terrible things to my body such as the eca stack, topamax etc. I was on topamax for stress and I lost 60 lbs( I also ate low fat and exercised) but the medication I became stupid, i couldn't remember anything on topamax and couldn't function at work. I then had a ton of stress at work and of course food became I comfort. The hardest thing for me is knowing what it feels like to be small but being unable to get back there. I avoid seeing people I haven't seen since I was small as I feel so ashamed of my weight gain. Ive joined this board to learn a new way of life as my surgery is august 17th and regain my confidence. Lisa

I'm August 17th. Yeahhhhhh

Am 35 and the heaviest I have ever been at 190 lbs. I hate the feeling of my fat rolls(as when in my bras and sitting it hurts/discomfort). About 8 years ago I was fit and a size 2 and even then only wore comfy clothes. I am doing this surgery for several reasons: 1. Feel comfortable in clothes 2. Not having to buy new clothes all the time as I can't squeeze into my current 3. My weight is contributing to my back pain. 4. Feel confident again (I've never been vain and shy away from attention even when I was a size 2, but dislike the way some people treat me compared to when I was small). My weight is a hard thing for me as I'm a very successful person with business/home etc except In regards being in control of my body. I've tried Medications that definately help weight loss but I couldn't function in my business life so I had to discontinue. Well I can't wait as my surgery is August 2012 in Puerto Vallarta. Can't wait for the new me.

Guess it's normal,but I keep second guessing. I know I want the surgery and don't think the food will be a big deal as I was on Topamax before and it made you forget to eat( I dropped it as it gave me a poor memory and I'd be driving and 30 minutes later not know how I got there). I guess this scares me as it's permanent. Just needed to vent I guess.