I’ve believed several truly ridiculous things in my life. When I was very small, I didn’t like the crust off bread. My Dad told me that just like fruits and vegetables, the crust of the bread held all the Vitamins. This is not the most ridiculous thing I’ve believed either…. When I was about 6, I discovered/ realized that my mother had a tattoo. You have to understand something about my mother. She portrays herself as a paragon of virtue, the panicle of dignity...

Her tattoo is her name written in cursive just at the stocking line. This was done in the 50’s, so you know she was a wild child, and not a paragon of virtue… She told me that everybody has their name on them; that was how mommies and daddies knew how to name their child. When they were little, their name was invisible to all but the parents. It was only as people got older and turned into grown-ups that their name darkened to the point where everybody could read their name…

You guys are hilarious!!! I am taking notes furiously here!

When I was little I thought my parent were Wilma and Fred Flintstone. My mom was tall with thin legs and red hair that she swept back in waves from her face. My dad was shaped like Fred Flintstone, had a perpetual five o'clock shadow and was always tinkering on the car. What else was I to think? lol

After I was an adult I saw a picture of my dad - I couldn't have been more than a couple of years old when the picture was taken - at a costume party wearing a fur pelt (two or three more likely!) around his body and over his shoulder! Maybe I saw this picture when I was little and that's where the idea came from. When I asked my mom about the picture I was just sure she was going to tell me she went as Wilma Flintstone, but alas, she was a greek godess or something and my dad had gone as a no-name caveman but we had a good laugh over my parents: Wilma and Fred Flintstone. I guess that makes me Pebbles, huh?

Oh my, some of these are so cute and hilarious. I must admit I was a handful as a child. My mom told me the devil lived in our basement and when I was bad he would be down there waiting for me. Needless to say as an only child it gets kind of lonesome in the colder months and you tend to get into more stuff you are not suppose to. So my mom would tell me everytime I was bad and the furnace would turn on, which was kinda loud, that is was the devil coming for me. This is the time I would make a B line for under the bed cause in my mind no one could get you or see you if you were under the bed!!!!

This is a great thread. I'm having such fun reading these posts.

My grandfather, at dinner, used to tell us kids to "eat every bean and pea on your plate." As a kid, I thought he said "pee" and I kept wondering why he'd want us to pee on our plate.

I also believed in the swallowing seeds and making your belly grow. To this day, I avoid watermelon seeds. In fact, I barely eat watermelons at all. Give me a cantelope, at least those seeds are easier to remove...Ha ha.

When I was about 6 yrs. old, my Mom was pregnant with my little sister. I saw her stomach grow & grow & she was telling me it was almost time for the baby to come out. I used to sit in my room & try to figure out how the baby was going to "come out" & exactly WHERE does the baby come out?!?!? I finally got up the nerve to ask my Mom to explain HOW & WHERE the baby comes out. She said that when the times comes, she would PUSH & PUSH really hard & the baby would come out of her bottom.

Everytime I went to the bathroom I was scared to death that if I PUSHED & PUSHED really hard a baby would come out. I didn't want a baby to come out of my bottom!!!

I became very constipated for several months after that because I REFUSED to push!!!!

I asked her what she was doing and she said "Thinking." I said about what, she said "Nothing.". How do you "think" about "nothing"?

It's called "the quiet mind." It's a zen thing.

When i was little my grandma would tell me to eat all of my peas it would make my boobies grow, here i am today eatting peas enjoying my DD's ... maybe it does work! LOL:biggrin1:

When I was about 7'ish my mom had a Twix candy bar in the car. I went to eat it but she wanted it and told me it was her "poopy" medicine. It was good tasting but would make you have the "runs" all day long. And to not eat it unless I was "stopped up". I didn't eat a damn Twix bar until I was about 19. And I had no idea why it was in the candy aisle. I never bothered to read the package. I just knew it was chocolate that made you poop. My mom was ROFL when I called her and told her I knew the jig was up when I recommended a Twix bar to a friend who felt "stopped up". I felt like a total ass! And she still laughs about it.

Going along with the ice cream truck thing -- we td our kids it was the trash truck (we have curbside pick up). Unfortunately trash day is also a big and exciting attraction to preschoolers. One summer evening when we heard the ice cream man coming my kids all ran out of the house yelling the trash guy! The trash guy! All the other kids in the neighborhood think my kids are psychotic now. We felt so bad, we broke the myth and bought them pops.............

My sister was weeding out the tomato garden one day (this is when she was like 18 or so) and she threw some bad tomatoes out on to the lawn. Later my dad came by on the ridding lawn mower and blew out a tire. He blamed it on my sister saying the "acid" from the tomatoes had eaten away the tire and made it blow out....she was in her 20's when my dad told the story to every one and had a good laugh. My poor sister was so embarrassed because until that day, she really thought that tomatoes had acid and could blow out a tire.....

I'm so mean!

when my son was little I told him that Pop tarts had alcohol in them and they were for adults only. I just wanted them all to myself because my husband didn't like them.

My son reminded me of the pop tarts the other day. My food addiction has affected my kids in so many bad ways im afraid.

Oh gosh, I have a barrel of them. But a few off of the top of my head are:

When I was a young child. I was very afraid of the leaves in the fall. The way they would be on the ground like crabs, and move with the wind made it seem to me they were alive and chasing me. I would run into the house.

For the longest time in high school, I would hear kids say they were going to the inlet that weekend (I lived in a seashore town) and watch the submarine races. I thought there were like small radio operataed submarines people raced, never knowing it was a code meaning they were going to park and make out. I belived that until my 2nd year. lol

And anyone know that song by Creedence Clearwater Revival , Bad Moon Rising? It goes

"Don’t go around tonight,

Well, it’s bound to take your life,

There’s a bad moon on the rise."

I thought they said

"Don’t go around tonight,

Well, it’s bound to take your life,

There’s a bathroom on the right"

And I just found out I was singing that wrong last year.

I was told the "special pool chemical" story and was terrified to pee in a pool when I was a kid. My friend brought her kids over to swim several years ago and I told them the same story.... that we use a special chemical in our pool and if they peed in the water a purple cloud would form around them and everyone would KNOW! The next weekend my girlfriend came over to lounge in the pool with me, and before she got in the water she asked me "I am on my period, that wont make the chemical stuff yall use make a purple cloud around me will it?". I laughed my ass off. And by the way she is BLONDE! (but so am I, so no real offense meant to blondes, lol)

in november, my nephew lost his first tooth. my dad, PAPA, told my son, my nephew, and a family friend(all six years old), that the reason why little kids lose teeth is because they lie to their mommies. he has them convinced that the only way they will grow back is if they tell their mommies that they are sorry. the family friend, jackson, and my son, david, still have not lost their first tooth. they were a bit skeptical of papa, as he is truly full of twix. my nephew, david and jackson were outside playing at the deer lease a couple of days later, and jackson just started crying hysterically, screaming, etc. we thought he'd been snake bit or something horrible. we all ran out and calmed him enough to talk to us. between sobs, we were able to put together that he remembered telling his mommy a lie. we immediately provided him with a cell phone so that he could call his mommy and apologize and tell the truth.

tee hee....

My dad told my 3 brothers and I that he was from space. That he crashed his spaceship in the woods and he fell in love with our mother and he was slowly fixing his spaceship over the years. He had us so going on that one for the longest time. He would say he was gathering parts, etc.

My parents told us that cardinals (the red birds) were Santa's Birds, and that they reported to Santa, telling them all they saw. So when we see one, know that Santa is checking in on us to see if we are being good or bad. I don't have children of my own, but I tell other little kids that. When the kids get old enough to know, they always tell me they loved that story. hehehe