I've noticed that people assume all kinds of things about me now. I've mentioned needing to walk to a place because I have walked long distance in a few days, and people assume it's specifically for lossing more weight.

I have to explain the benefits of walking beyond weight loss for anyone to be satisfied with my reasons. So disturbing.

People constantly tell me now that I don't need to lose more weight. Many don't know I had WLS and must be thinking I'm trying really hard. I'm not.

I think people assume I have a new found eating disorder. Not present.

Debatable but i'm not specifically actively trying for more weight loss (fat loss, muscle growth yes), I'm just letting my body find it's range. I comfortable where I am, I can stay here or go lower ,my body will pick but I'm not making an effort to stop lossing either.

I think people are obsessed with my weight loss and think I am also. I'm not. It's so weird, it's all anyone around me wants to talk about.

What assumptions have you found/do you believe are being made about you? Are they spot on or way off?

Edited September 3, 20187 yr by GreenTealael

20 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

I'm not sure if this applies... but I was talking to my dad this past weekend about us getting close to trying for our first baby. He literally is so concerned about my "health" and how this surgery could have caused complications that will take my life in the process of carrying/delivering a child. I tried to explain to him.... I'm healthier now than I ever was prior. I will have a healthier pregnancy now than at 330lbs.

Also, people at work (who don't know I've had WLS) think I'm obsessive. They always make comments, sometimes joking, sometimes not joking, about my dieting choices. And the worst of it is, they see me eating something and poke fun. Today I was chomping on some sugar snap peas, and they found it hilarious. Meanwhile, I don't laugh at them when I see them chowing down on some M&Ms. They also peer pressure me into making bad choices. We had cake for a baby celebration in the office, and I was bullied into a piece. I begrudgingly took it into my office and threw it away. Ultimately, I think I make them self conscious about their food choices.

Maybe it's time for you to not be so courteous and give them back what they are giving to you... I mean, they set the playing field, might as well play by their rules. Every time they make a bad choice, let them know. They might finally stop razzing you about your choices when you start giving it back to them about their choices.

Your dad seems more like just lack of information and concern. I mean, unless they turned your uterus into a water park slide LOL

And actually being too overweight can prevent conception, I know someone personally that just can't have kids simply because she's overweight to the point where her hormones are so messed up that she can't conceive.

Edited September 5, 20187 yr by Matt Z

29 minutes ago, FluffyChix said:

So far no one has said quit losing weight. I'mI'm not too thin until someone has to carry me around in a back pack. assuming people still think, "Hey fatass, you better not be looking at those french fries with desire in your eyes. Keep losing. You're still in the overweight category!" No offense to anyone here who has in the past or is presently being carried around in a backpack due to any ana probs or degenerative diseases. Sorry to Stephen Hawkins as well and anyone with mobility issues. In fact, I should just probably erase this post.

Love the disclaimer! I think the only "backpack" person you're likely to offend is Bran from GoT!

16 minutes ago, Matt Z said:

Maybe it's time for you to not be so courteous and give them back what they are giving to you... I mean, they set the playing field, might as well play by their rules. Every time they make a bad choice, let them know. They might finally stop razzing you about your choices when you start giving it back to them about their choices.

Your dad seems more like just lack of information and concern. I mean, unless they turned your uterus into a Water park slide LOL

And actually being too overweight can prevent conception, I know someone personally that just can't have kids simply because she's overweight to the point where her hormones are so messed up that she can't conceive.

I have thought about it doing what you are suggesting, but its a giant mean girl's clique at my office. NONE of them have any room to judge, laugh, ect.... so I just feel bad for them at this point.

My dad has good intentions, but he just doesn't know what he's talking about. It just goes to show, people say things... misguided or not, with little to no remorse or not.

And yes, this is correct about conception. This is a HUGE reason we weren't able to conceive in the first part of our marriage. It may not be the only reason, but I'm hoping that I don't have difficulties when the time comes.

19 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

who don't know I've had WLS

You can't really blame them for their ignorance. Right now, they're probably jealous as hell about your success, which they think is from diet and exercise, which makes them feel like total failures, which makes them resent your healthy choices, which . . . into an endless loop.

No, I'm not saying you're obligated to tell anyone anything that you don't want. However, leaving them in the dark automatically excludes them from being any kind of support system. The other possibility is that they're trying to "peer pressure" you into being less restrictive with your diet because they have no idea that your diet/health is being medically supervised. All they see is extreme weight loss and that may scare them. Just my 2¢ worth.

1 minute ago, Orchids&Dragons said:

You can't really blame them for their ignorance. Right now, they're probably jealous as hell about your success, which they think is from diet and exercise, which makes them feel like total failures, which makes them resent your healthy choices, which . . . into an endless loop.

No, I'm not saying you're obligated to tell anyone anything that you don't want. However, leaving them in the dark automatically excludes them from being any kind of support system. The other possibility is that they're trying to "peer pressure" you into being less restrictive with your diet because they have no idea that your diet/health is being medically supervised. All they see is extreme weight loss and that may scare them. Just my 2¢ worth.

I personally don't think that having weight loss surgery is relevant. They know at this point, that I am on the path to being healthier, including but not limited to, losing weight. I don't think there is a world in which I would bully someone who is trying to walk the straight and narrow into having a piece of cake.

I don't need them to be a part of my support system, if I did, then I would have included them in my choice to have the surgery. But, I do feel disheartened when they don't respect my decisions. Me saying, "no thank you" to a piece of cake, should be end of conversation. Someone shouldn't know that I'm on a medically supervised diet, to end it at "no thanks".

1 minute ago, AshAsh1 said:

Me saying, "no thank you" to a piece of cake, should be end of conversation. Someone shouldn't know that I'm on a medically supervised diet, to end it at "no thanks".

I totally agree. And my earlier response was typed before you mentioned that it was a "mean girls clique". That certainly makes a difference.

40 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

I'm not sure if this applies... but I was talking to my dad this past weekend about us getting close to trying for our first baby. He literally is so concerned about my "health" and how this surgery could have caused complications that will take my life in the process of carrying/delivering a child. I tried to explain to him.... I'm healthier now than I ever was prior. I will have a healthier pregnancy now than at 330lbs.

Also, people at work (who don't know I've had WLS) think I'm obsessive. They always make comments, sometimes joking, sometimes not joking, about my dieting choices. And the worst of it is, they see me eating something and poke fun. Today I was chomping on some sugar snap peas, and they found it hilarious. Meanwhile, I don't laugh at them when I see them chowing down on some M&Ms. They also peer pressure me into making bad choices. We had cake for a baby celebration in the office, and I was bullied into a piece. I begrudgingly took it into my office and threw it away. Ultimately, I think I make them self conscious about their food choices.

Beware this sounds like classic jealousy based sabotage...

2 minutes ago, GreenTealael said:

Beware this sounds like classic jealousy based sabotage...

It hurts my feelings, of course. But I will never let them win. I would never eat something to make someone else happy, not any more.

2 minutes ago, AshAsh1 said:

It hurts my feelings, of course. But I will never let them win. I would never eat something to make someone else happy, not any more.

They hurt your feelings...

1 minute ago, GreenTealael said:

They hurt your feelings...

You are the best.

What doesn't kill you.... right?

I think people assume I'm more athletic than I really am now. Someone who runs much more than I do asked me if I wanted to go do a marathon or half marathon in the fall. I've been running, but I'm only at a 5k distance, and I'm slow as a turtle! Still a work in progress...

I guess I've been pretty lucky, I don't really get any crap about the way I eat. If anything my co-workers love it because if someone brings cupcakes or donuts they know someone will get to have two because I won't be eating mine. People will ask me if anyone called dibs on mine yet, then hide it away for later, lol.

My dad, when we were on vacation, jokingly made the comment that it shouldn't matter to me where we got lunch because I was only going to order salad anyway. I still gave my input for which restaurant to have lunch at, and guess what, their salad was fantastic!

Very interesting....hmmmm I haven’t been back to work yet from my surgery on 8/29/18 but I’m ready for them...I’m like what @Matt Z described bahahahaha since I turned 50 I’m kinda out of control ( ok a lot out of control) lol ?

9 hours ago, wanda247 said:

Very interesting....hmmmm I haven’t been back to work yet from my surgery on 8/29/18 but I’m ready for them...I’m like what @Matt Z described bahahahaha since I turned 50 I’m kinda out of control ( ok a lot out of control) lol ?

Lol hahaha, everyone will behave

20 hours ago, AshAsh1 said:

hey also peer pressure me into making bad choices. We had cake for a baby celebration in the office, and I was bullied into a piece. I begrudgingly took it into my office and threw it away. Ultimately, I think I make them self conscious about their food choices.

Ugh, I'm sorry you're around such unpleasant people for so many hours of the day.

I have the same peer pressure situation, but about drinking alcohol, not eating. Despite the fact I've said drinking will make me ill, not that it is for weight loss. But thankfully it's not a 5 days a week situation like yours at least.

3 minutes ago, sillykitty said:

Ugh, I'm sorry you're around such unpleasant people for so many hours of the day.

I have the same peer pressure situation, but about drinking alcohol, not eating. Despite the fact I've said drinking will make me ill, not that it is for weight loss. But thankfully it's not a 5 days a week situation like yours at least.

Well, at least we can support each other here! Its comforting to know that we have an entire community that knows the struggles.