Are you a fat personality or not?

Not all fat people have fat personalities. I'm sorry I disrupted a mental health thread with this yesterday, I didnt realise and it was inappropriate. But I've got to get this off my chest.

I'm done with the whiny pathetic excuse making marshmallows populating this board. Get some backbone, and wake up to reality. This thing takes WORK.

We all fall off the wagon, we all make mistakes, what is it that makes some of us dust ourselves off and keep going and some of us refuse to admit the mistake, blaming everything and everyone but ourselves?

I've never really understood pre band psychological counselling, but now I do. Some people here should never ever have been banded. Not until they did some serious work on themselves first. Its very sad. But the tool is there when they're ready to use it. If they could EVER admit that they need to change things up a bit.

The band is so wonderful. You can lose weight slowly. You can even do it without exercise. You can get to a low BMI or not, you can stop where you please. You can feel in control of your food for the first time in your life. You can be super strict and lose weight at the speed of light and have cosmetic surgery and be the hottest thing on 2 legs. You can do low carb or not.

For some, sadly its just not the right tool. I have respect for people who decide that and go for something else or who choose another surgery int he first place. But for many, its so versatile. Sadly there's some people who still dont lose. They have medical and physical issues that need attention. They may have gotten so big that they really struggle to move around let alone exercise. They are in real trouble and need help and compassion.

But there's also a whole lot who are just, well, pathetic. They wanted to lose weight but they wanted someone else to do it for them, afterall its not their fault their fat right? So they get this band and WHAT? It doesnt do it all?

This thread is not compassionate. I dont hate fat people, heck, I *AM* a fat person. I dont believe I will be anything other than a fat person in remission. I feel compassion for the plight people find themselves in, I feel that for every single person. But when they refuse to help themselves, it evaporates.

Now, I'm the first person to admit I dont understand much about mental health issues like depression. I know its wrong, but I do sometimes fall into the "just snap out of it" camp. I realise there's stuff like that involved. But nine times out of ten, struggling with a band just comes down to being unwilling to pull your finger out and face your issues.

So when people post threads seeking help and then oh so politely come up with an excuse to every single helpful suggestion, look out, I just might BITE!

And nobody had better DARE so "if I could do that, I wouldnt have needed a lapband". That is quite honestly the stupidest thing that I have ever heard on this forum and unfortunately its been said many many times. If you seriously believe that, you are in more trouble than a lapband can get you out of!

Edited June 21, 200818 yr by Jachut

"when people start requesting that they remove your name from their friendship lists I guess it's time to be the bigger person"

Edited June 29, 200818 yr by Nanook
removed as a sign of good will

I'm sure many of you read that last post from me that I've just deleted and many will get it in their inboxes as I left it up for a while. I'm not ashamed of it, not trying to hide it, but really,

what's the fricking point? I'm not making any new points, just fuelling the arguments, its not necessary.

In short, I've blocked several who I think are either slightly insane, unreasonably vicious or actually trolls just trying to start trouble.

So if you dont like what I have to say.. BLOCK ME. Then you never have to deal with reality again.

And thank you for those who appreciate my musings on this weight loss game and have been big enough to say so. It means heaps.

Edited June 28, 200818 yr by Jachut

OOPS, double post? Not sure, something funny going on.

This *Jasmine* makes other Jasmine's look bad.

My name is Jasmine...that Jasmine is an idiot though.

It's rants and raves...We'll bitch if we want to

I'm thinking she's a troll too Froggi. Nobody could really feel that heated up over something on the internet that didnt even happen to her, surely? I've had this experience with trolls before, they suck you right in, you think they're real people when in reality they're deliberately stirring the pot and having a great old time at the chaos it creates.

If not, I just dont get it . I accidentally posted on the mental health board (just as I have done on the 200+ board and the men's board, both quite inappropriately, lol). I will try to be more careful. But I dont really have much to contribute to a mental health board, nor to the men's board so I dont deliberately go there. So I dont get, if this R&R upsets our delicate flower Jasmine so deeply, why the hell does she keep coming back and posting here. That's why I think both she and BrandyII may be tolls.

I think R&R is brilliant. I'm a member of several other boards and at times, it has gotten awfully nasty when a debate has arisen, in the past its been politics and attachment parenting that I've seen it happen in. The boards have been destroyed by the fighting and bad feeling from one single thread/debate. That's a shame.

At least here, its all aside from the main boards and its not there in your face if you dont want to be involved. So I really cant figure why if it upsets Jasmine so much why she keeps popping up.

Its simple Jasmine. Turn off your computer and go and do something else.

Edited June 28, 200818 yr by Jachut

Argh, and that's just totally uneccessary too. I'm just trying to have the last word, which is really pretty pointless.

Wow what a mess this has ended up being. It was never my intention for everyone to get so upset but I just felt that some things being said on here were very harsh and I made my point as to why. I certainly do not condone people attacking the OP and her defenders.

Also, I have not and never will have a problem with anyone who has been successful with their weight loss. Jacqui you and Chickie as well as others have done a fantastic job with the band and I wish to be one of you in the future. A friend of ours was banded a couple of years before me and she has lost 40+ kgs and is now a size 8. She looks fantastic and she said that she never planned to get to a size 8 but she just never stopped losing. She doesn't have much in her band now but is maintaining really well. I can't imagine people being so nasty about your weight loss. Human nature is a funny thing, remember the tall poppy syndrome, sounds like it is running rampant here. Chickie unfortunately when you put yourself out in the public eye, you will always have the weirdos come out of the woodwork. I have experienced that in another situation I was in.

I thought Nanook was someone new but now I realise it is Brandy. Brandy, I don't understand why you needed to do that. Unfortunately it doesn't help your situation because it makes you look dishonest to some people. I am happy to support you if and when I can, so please keep it real.

Take care everyone and remember the written word is always different to a F2F interaction and sometimes it's easy to post things we wouldn't say to someone if they were right in front of us.

I didn't read this thread, just the last couple of pages, but from what I read here and on the other thread, this is my take. Right or wrong, this is what I see.

Those who are not doing well, not watching well what is going in their mouths, not exercising or not exercising enough, they seem to be the folks that are all about head patting and supporting negative behaviors. Those that busted their butts and did the job have the attitude that they did it, anyone can.

Seems to me this is where the conflict, nasty undertones, and P&A posting is coming from.

We've already chased away one member (Laurend), perhaps it is time to let this die a big bad sorry death.

Wasa hit the nail on the head here. We need to agree to disagree and move on. No one should feel their feelings are hurt. We are not close personal friends. No one is betraying anyone. This is a messageboard and really shouldn't mean that much on a personal level. Sometimes it's best to step back and re-evaluate what's important. And what's said on a messageboard, in the grand scheme of it all, is NOT that important.

Move on people, nothing to see here!!!!!

I'm hitting unsubscribe to this thread. Seems like the conversation has gone all over the place and I'm finished with it.

I have enjoyed reading though. We are a varied lot of folk, no?

One closing thought however, I love seeing and hearing from people at goal. Your experiences are so very valuable, I appreciate that you share them.

Rock on.

Juli

Good Morning All,

Well to start off, no I'm not a troll. I've been a member since 2005, if I was a troll, wouldn't I have started up some mess earlier on? I guess I could say my behavior last night was fueled by 3 years of taking the higher road and moving on. I will do that now. Not to say I can't take the heat. I definitely can. But in saying something, I became exactly the type of poster that I dislike. For that, I truly am sorry. I will not appologize for the rest. I meant it. But I will try to not feed into this anymore. Have a good day, everyone.

good morning everyone.

i've seen several requests to close this thread and / or let it die ...

the easiest way to do that is simply to not visit and post here anymore.

voila - no debate, the thread will die... simple.

removed as a gesture of good will:thumbup:

Edited June 29, 200818 yr by Nanook
good will

I didn't know we chased away Laurend. She was posting on this thread last night:confused:. Look, I've been successfull, too. I've fallen off the wagon and am in the process of dusting myself off. I busted my butt, too. Just like a reformed smoker, there is nothing worse than a reformed fatty. Even when I was at my best, I still had some class about it. What does it matter if we are still offering support for people not doing it OUR WAY? If these types of people offend you, just move on. Don't start a whole thread to knock them down even more. They will find their way, eventually.

Who said anyone had to do it a specific way? Nobody.

The bottom line is that you have to burn more calories than you consume, how you do it is completely up to you.

As I TRIED to explain already, there are two extremes posting here and nobody is really finding a balance here. The balance is not head patting for someone that does not want to watch what she eats and does not want to exercise. What is anyone to say? Every suggestion was knocked down and finally the admission of she just doesn't want to. So what is left to say?

Draw those claws back in, I was pointing out both extremes and how it doesn't help the person in the least.

All I can say is ROAR lol

Argh, and that's just totally uneccessary too. I'm just trying to have the last word, which is really pretty pointless.

This thread has been awesome. I now have 6 new people on ignore because of it.