Are you a fat personality or not?

Not all fat people have fat personalities. I'm sorry I disrupted a mental health thread with this yesterday, I didnt realise and it was inappropriate. But I've got to get this off my chest.

I'm done with the whiny pathetic excuse making marshmallows populating this board. Get some backbone, and wake up to reality. This thing takes WORK.

We all fall off the wagon, we all make mistakes, what is it that makes some of us dust ourselves off and keep going and some of us refuse to admit the mistake, blaming everything and everyone but ourselves?

I've never really understood pre band psychological counselling, but now I do. Some people here should never ever have been banded. Not until they did some serious work on themselves first. Its very sad. But the tool is there when they're ready to use it. If they could EVER admit that they need to change things up a bit.

The band is so wonderful. You can lose weight slowly. You can even do it without exercise. You can get to a low BMI or not, you can stop where you please. You can feel in control of your food for the first time in your life. You can be super strict and lose weight at the speed of light and have cosmetic surgery and be the hottest thing on 2 legs. You can do low carb or not.

For some, sadly its just not the right tool. I have respect for people who decide that and go for something else or who choose another surgery int he first place. But for many, its so versatile. Sadly there's some people who still dont lose. They have medical and physical issues that need attention. They may have gotten so big that they really struggle to move around let alone exercise. They are in real trouble and need help and compassion.

But there's also a whole lot who are just, well, pathetic. They wanted to lose weight but they wanted someone else to do it for them, afterall its not their fault their fat right? So they get this band and WHAT? It doesnt do it all?

This thread is not compassionate. I dont hate fat people, heck, I *AM* a fat person. I dont believe I will be anything other than a fat person in remission. I feel compassion for the plight people find themselves in, I feel that for every single person. But when they refuse to help themselves, it evaporates.

Now, I'm the first person to admit I dont understand much about mental health issues like depression. I know its wrong, but I do sometimes fall into the "just snap out of it" camp. I realise there's stuff like that involved. But nine times out of ten, struggling with a band just comes down to being unwilling to pull your finger out and face your issues.

So when people post threads seeking help and then oh so politely come up with an excuse to every single helpful suggestion, look out, I just might BITE!

And nobody had better DARE so "if I could do that, I wouldnt have needed a lapband". That is quite honestly the stupidest thing that I have ever heard on this forum and unfortunately its been said many many times. If you seriously believe that, you are in more trouble than a lapband can get you out of!

Edited June 21, 200818 yr by Jachut

Very well put MacMadame!! Couldn't have said it any better.

I don't like victims either but I do have compassion which is what has been lacking here from most people. Whatever has gone on in your life there is no need to put people down just because they don't fit the mould of how you think people should live their lives. Go back and read some of the things that have been said, read them from the other person's point of view and then say they are not harsh and mean. For many people it is a struggle just to pick themselves up and do normal everyday things so give them a break. Yes Brandy put herself out there and I truly believe she needs help but this not helpful, this is downright nasty. You guys remind me of the work tearoom situation where there's a queen bee who bitches about some poor soul and the other bees gather around to add to the sting. We are adults, so please try to act with some decorum.

PS, I don't disagree that Jacqui has done well for herself and that she looks great. I just think that her success does not mean that everyone needs to see her as their hero. I said it before, everyone travels their own path to achieve success and some will fall on the way. Either they will pick themselves up and move on or they will decide it is too hard... we are not here to judge either person.

I don't like victims either but I do have compassion which is what has been lacking here from most people. Whatever has gone on in your life there is no need to put people down just because they don't fit the mould of how you think people should live their lives. Go back and read some of the things that have been said, read them from the other person's point of view and then say they are not harsh and mean. For many people it is a struggle just to pick themselves up and do normal everyday things so give them a break. Yes Brandy put herself out there and I truly believe she needs help but this not helpful, this is downright nasty. You guys remind me of the work tearoom situation where there's a queen bee who bitches about some poor soul and the other bees gather around to add to the sting. We are adults, so please try to act with some decorum.

I completely agree. Starting a thread to call out certain members of this board is very unnecessary, which is exactly how this thread started. Brandy hasn't been back for days, I wonder why:rolleyes:. I guess what was set out to be accomplished, was. That's one less "whiner" for you all to have to "put up" with...

I find if someone is seriously wanting to share the reason for their success and if they seriously care about another person, whom let's call Joan, they will share their story and take the time to go into details about how they felt going through the process. Let's say Joan doesn't accept the help or just doesn't get it, or just isn't willing to make a change, a truly caring person will probably realize that they wasted their time, but you wouldn't expect them to just haul off and verbally slap Joan in the face and tell her that she is lazy and keep heaping on other negative insults. Because if she did, her "caring" would seem extremely disingenuous.

*Jasmine* I don't think it is whiners they seem to have a problem with - it's whingers.

Sades: I think we all judge other people. It's in our nature. But not all of us find it necessary to publically dress someone down who we judge to be inferior to us. You have to wonder why people got enjoyment out of that and why they seem to want to continue ragging on about it.

Jasmine, many of us are struggling to get this thing right and coming to this board is what helps keep us motivated. I love reading how successful people have been but some of this carry on is totally unnecessary. That's what made me put my 2 bob's worth in. Sorry Jacqui but you can have your thread back.

Yes BJ, that is my point exactly, you can be frustrated with someone because of their victim mentality but I wouldn't try to humiliate them in front of all and sundry.

*Jasmine* I don't think it is whiners they seem to have a problem with - it's whingers.

Hi BJean,

Sorry, I had never heard that word before, I had to look it up. So now that I have, let me get this straight. They are complaining about complainers? What's the sense in that? Just to get if off their chests and make them feel better?

Whingers wasn't in my dictionary. I thought they were spelling whiners incorrectly because they seemed to be talking about hating whiners. My mistake. Complainers compaining about complainers makes more sense. :Angel_anim:

I'd like to point out that this thread, which I've followed closely and really enjoyed reading, has for the last several pages been a discussion completely separate from the issues that Sades and Jasmine and BJean decided to reintroduce. Again. The Brandy brouhaha has been thoroughly hashed out on at least two other threads and your points were made equally well there. The fact is that others disagree with those points, so perhaps it would be best if we just leave it at that and return to the discussion that was going on before the threadjack.

I'd like to point out that this thread, which I've followed closely and really enjoyed reading, has for the last several pages been a discussion completely separate from the issues that Sades and Jasmine and BJean decided to reintroduce. Again. The Brandy brouhaha has been thoroughly hashed out on at least two other threads and your points were made equally well there. The fact is that others disagree with those points, so perhaps it would be best if we just leave it at that and return to the discussion that was going on before the threadjack.

I used Brandy as an example, but the fact remains that there will always be those types of people, that someone will feel the need to start a thread about. Don't you think that this type of behaviour is unnecessary? And it wasn't a "threadjack". That was the OP's initial statement...

Sorry you missed 'em Ninja, check out their posts on pages 7 and 8. We didn't bring it up again. They just never let it go and we got tired of it - once again.

Hey I gotta say everyone has a right to post anything they want - and Jachut certainly has claimed this post as her very own so she certainly can post whatever she deems fit to print.

We are equally free to protest certain attitudes and language if we choose.

Nobody likes whiners or even whingers (to speak the Queen's English) and I think we all agree on that. What some of us don't care for is someone bullying someone else and others piling on. And I just didn't see it as "tough love" it stank more like gloating and sneering much of the time.

I was excited when the discussion spoke to depression and depression as it affects overeating. There were a couple of awesome posts about that!!