I'm so thankful for having this app and my Friday night Bariatric surgery classes. If I didn't have these places to vent I'd go nuts!!

My husband isn't supportive of my choice to have surgery and my parents aren't either. I'm pretty much alone in my journey. I've decided not to tell them my surgery day is a week from today. I'm supper excited about it, but my husband trying to convince me not to do it just brings me down. We always end up in a fight and this time he said he doesn't want me to EVER mention the surgery again! Total ass, but whatever. He doesn't know what it is to struggle with weight your entire life!! I have 3 kids and I'm trying my best so that they won't have to go through what I went through!

Ok feeling a little better. :}

We all want honesty in the sharing experiences but being "blunt" doesn't have to equal insensitive or inconsiderate. Also, in cases like this we are offering opinions on how someone should handle a situation in their life. So if we don't agree with their choices it doesn't make them wrong and us right. Or vice versa. Just differing opinions... In my opinion.

Amanda Rae

My kids are 10, 8, and 1. The older 2 will be in school and my mother watches the little one.

I will not tell my husband about the surgery, but he'll find out. My parents will be notified as soon as I'm out. My sister is the only one that knows and she's going to help pick the kids up from school, help with homework etc etc.

I know you didn't ask for an opinion, so I won't give one...but...isn't your husband going to notice when you're not home the night after your surgery...or the following day...or, potentially, for a couple days after?? Even minor complications, immediately after surgery, can result in days spent in the hospital (I had inflammation blocking my sleeve, which resulted in 6 days in the hospital). Will he be willing to care for the kids while you're recovering? (You won't be able to lift your 1-year old for 4-6 weeks afterwards!) I totally understand that you need to do what is best for you, and your health (this surgery is a life-saver, no doubt about it!)....and I pray everything goes well for you, today, as you begin this new journey!! Wishing you great success! Laura

Everyone's story is different. Iggychic went through hell and unfortunately it was removed from the forum so newer posters cannot read it' date=' but she was just being blunt, which a lot of people cannot take. I grew up with no support whatsoever on anything, so in adult life, it made me not care about anyones opinion about anything I did. I feel everyone is entitled to the same. You do what you have to to get through. But...

...going through surgery is a risky business and if there are complications, it would be nice to have a support group to lean on. Best of luck to all who have to go it alone.[/quote']

Her story was removed? Why?

My story was removed because it made the doctor too sad (detect some serious sarcasm there please). He was going to sue the site to have it removed so I asked for it to be removed to save the site the stress. Bad enough I had to deal with what I had to deal with.

Look...so I'm a meanie...I'm not actually I'm a happy person who suffered life threatening complications from this surgery more than once. So if I read with absolute horror that someone thinks they are going to go this without telling their spouse...the guy they are currently married to and profess to want to stay with...I am sorry, I read it and reacted with a knowledge base she does not understand. People die having this surgery or they die from the complications. They can go bankrupt (my bills look to be totaling over half a million dollars from the complications...this is not typically covered by insurance). You can be taken from your children for weeks on end. This is serious stuff, not a simple surgery to sneak in and have in secret IMO. I honestly feel very badly for the OP if this is her relationship. HONESTLY! That type of relationship is just no way to live

If I were handing out advice I'd say divorce the man, as this isn't a real relationship that anyone deserves, and get your life together. THEN have the surgery when you have a support network around you so that if something goes wrong you aren't alone. My life isn't perfect don't I wish! Don't we all LOL But even in my first marriage I'd never have not told the man I was having major surgery. What if you die? What does he tell the kids? What would you want him to tell the kids? People die. Millions don't...but some do. It's just a sad reality and one most don't take into account when having this surgery. I'm going to continue to share that side of the story so that maybe someone can be more prepared than I was.

I hope the OP finds that she has an easy surgery with no complications to worry about. Heck I hope that for everyone. But for your family....I hope you find the courage to be honest, even in the face of opposition so that you don't leave them without notice, which if you have any caring for them, would be truly sad for those left behind.

I hope your surgery went smoothly! And I also hope your husband and parents have come around now that it's done

Well, I'm pretty much ready for surgery today. I'm a little nervous, but I guess that's normal.

I'll be calling my parents as soon as I'm out. I figure my husband will find out eventually. He's really good with the kids.. They are also HIS kids sooo I'm pretty sure he can handle a night alone with them. :} My excuse for leaving is that I'm having an all girl adult slumber party lol... He knows that's not true, but I guess that's what we'll be calling my surgery.. The "slumber party".

I know it sounds really bad, but that's what it is. I married someone that's the complete opposite of what and who I am.

But since this is a WLS app, I'll leave the details of my issues with my husband for the Marriage Counseling app. Lol

do whats best for you, we all know the fustration and all the other feelings that come with being overweight. if you dont have support at home you'll find it here.. is not an easy road to get here, but it is well worth it.. good luck and keep us posted..

do whats best for you' date=' we all know the fustration and all the other feelings that come with being overweight. if you dont have support at home you'll find it here.. is not an easy road to get here, but it is well worth it.. good luck and keep us posted..[/quote']

That really means so much to me. Thank you so much!

Iggychic, I am new to the site (Oct 15th sleeve) so I am new to your posts. I am so sorry that you went through such an awful experience and hope somehow you can live around and beyond it. I am also sorry to hear that your doctor was so unethical. As patients we are allowed free speech but a site owner of course can take the brunt of it legally. Anyway, wish you well. Was there anything good that came out of your surgery?

My story was removed because it made the doctor too sad (detect some serious sarcasm there please). He was going to sue the site to have it removed so I asked for it to be removed to save the site the stress. Bad enough I had to deal with what I had to deal with.

Look...so I'm a meanie...I'm not actually I'm a happy person who suffered life threatening complications from this surgery more than once. So if I read with absolute horror that someone thinks they are going to go this without telling their spouse...the guy they are currently married to and profess to want to stay with...I am sorry' date=' I read it and reacted with a knowledge base she does not understand. People die having this surgery or they die from the complications. They can go bankrupt (my bills look to be totaling over half a million dollars from the complications...this is not typically covered by insurance). You can be taken from your children for weeks on end. This is serious stuff, not a simple surgery to sneak in and have in secret IMO. I honestly feel very badly for the OP if this is her relationship. HONESTLY! That type of relationship is just no way to live

If I were handing out advice I'd say divorce the man, as this isn't a real relationship that anyone deserves, and get your life together. THEN have the surgery when you have a support network around you so that if something goes wrong you aren't alone. My life isn't perfect don't I wish! Don't we all LOL But even in my first marriage I'd never have not told the man I was having major surgery. What if you die? What does he tell the kids? What would you want him to tell the kids? People die. Millions don't...but some do. It's just a sad reality and one most don't take into account when having this surgery. I'm going to continue to share that side of the story so that maybe someone can be more prepared than I was.

I hope the OP finds that she has an easy surgery with no complications to worry about. Heck I hope that for everyone. But for your family....I hope you find the courage to be honest, even in the face of opposition so that you don't leave them without notice, which if you have any caring for them, would be truly sad for those left behind.[/quote']

That's crazy it had to be taken down? Is I e not aloud to share their own complications? Is the whole complication board gonna be erased ( insert sarcasm)? I'd like to know the "rules" on what is acceptable to post it not:(

That's crazy it had to be taken down? Is I e not aloud to share their own complications? Is the whole complication board gonna be erased ( insert sarcasm)? I'd like to know the "rules" on what is acceptable to post it not:(

I guess she requested the post to be taken b/c the doc threatened legal. A shame that kind of censorship goes on but it was thoughtful of her the take into consideration the site owner.

Amanda Rae

I guess she requested the post to be taken b/c the doc threatened legal. A shame that kind of censorship goes on but it was thoughtful of her the take into consideration the site owner.

Amanda Rae

Yes it was thoughtful of her.

Just to be totally clear. Nothing that I posted wasn't totally supported by the board management (in my thread). They called me as a curtesy and were totally willing to leave the posts as they were. This is not the first time a doc has threatened such an action to them, nor will it be the last as long as there are complication stories. I just didn't want the hassle. "I" didn't not the website! So it's not censorship etc. My issues with the doc were just "mine" in my mind and I didn't need someone else to suffer as well if that makes sense to anyone.

And did anything good come of the surgery...well I've lost weight But it wasn't worth it. In general it was pretty much a horrible experience I didn't need to put myself through or my family. It set my son backwards in development, taxed my husband when he needed to be concentrating on his business, and of course it was expensive. Then there's the pain and suffering stuff I prefer to forget! The one positive in my mind is that it can be a powerful lesson to share with others so they go into this more prepared than I was. I guess there is some value in that.

Thinking of you Connie and hope that you are doing well. We are all in this together and will be your support system. You're on your way to a healthier you. :-)

@Connie3 ill pray all goes well with you I'm going for the seminar on January 8th Dr. Thomas Bass I hope it goes fast I really want the surgery I know how ya feel on not telling people my husband don't want me to get it he thinks ill leave him after losing the weight but I wont bit he still supports me but I'm refraining from telling a lot of people espeacially on his side of the family they'll make fun of me... I wish people could just understand how we feel.

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