I went to my VERY FAVORITE mexican restaurant last night for the first time since the band and did well! I put all the food I allowed myself on a single plate and did not even eat it all! I had a margarita, too, which still kept me under my calories.

I was feeling deprived, so I really needed this indulgence within my guidelines to kind of prove to myself that I can eat what I want and still reach my goal. Before, it was all or nothing. If I went to this restaurant, it meant I ate until I was so full I couldn't stand it or I just didn't go.

I'm in hot pursuit of the ever-elusive gray area - life not mandated by rules OR complete overindulgence. I found it last night, but I know that it will be a constant pursuit until I incorporate it into the core of my being - my habits.

For now, I'm happy with the little wins.

Thanks!

Thats awsome ....good job

We all need a little perk , how many calories are in a margarita?? It slides down easy but I think it is loaded. Don't want to sound like your mama but using food as a pick me up or reward can be risky behavior..as you start this lifestyle try to find something less dangerous then food to reward yourself..

While I appreciate your input, it was not a reward. I no longer have "rewards" or "cheats" as per my eating disorder therapist and my own resolve. I have LIFE. I plan to go to the same restaurants I've always gone to, just to eat less and count every calorie. So, I am incorporating the foods I like into my life in a healthy way. Some days will be better than others but I REFUSE to beat myself up for living it or to say I'll never have another margarita.

I have lived the "never have anything high calorie again" lifestyle, got down to a size 4, and it's not sustainable long term. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed at the negative feedback, when I specifically posted a NSV. Margarita 400 calories. I was at 1050 for the day and exercised 200.

While I appreciate your input' date=' it was not a reward. I no longer have "rewards" or "cheats" as per my eating disorder therapist and my own resolve. I have LIFE. I plan to go to the same restaurants I've always gone to, just to eat less and count every calorie. So, I am incorporating the foods I like into my life in a healthy way. Some days will be better than others but I REFUSE to beat myself up for living it or to say I'll never have another margarita.

I have lived the "never have anything high calorie again" lifestyle, got down to a size 4, and it's not sustainable long term. Frankly, I'm a little disappointed at the negative feedback, when I specifically posted a NSV. Margarita 400 calories. I was at 1050 for the day and exercised 200.[/quote']

I think you stating that you were " feeling deprived" and went to your favorite restaurant as a result is what got the reaction. While you state it verbally that it is a NSV your actions after your "feeling" states otherwise. At least by your own omission.

Talk it over with your therapist and see what they think, I'm no expert.

What everyone is saying is that, yes you will be able to eat everything you want in moderation but you will not be able to sustain wl EVEN W THE BAND, if you reward your feelings with food.

I think you did a great job with the situation you put yourself in. It's a maintenance move that you made early on and I'm glad it went well for you.

Well done Jen!

You should be soooo proud of yourself

What is NSV???

Sorry if you felt we were being negative , it was your words that prompted the replys. I personally rewarded myself with food and drink so many times I ended up with weight loss surgery... I don't do that anymore . I reward myself with a good book that I wouldn't usually buy before . I get a pedicure, I have my brows waxed rather then pluck, I buy earrings, I buy expensive perfume , I had permanent make up done .... but food for me as a reward nope . Does not mean I do not eat , I eat almost anything I want in a portion that is doable but it is not a cheat or reward it is just something I have to do and I do not feel deprived, I feel alive and free . Everyone handles their journey differently

NSV = nonscale victory.

Sorry for the confusing verbiage initially and I see how it can sound like I was trying to reward myself.....

Thanks for the encouragement, EVERYBODY!

Didn't mean to sound so attacked - just trying to savor my own little personal victory....

I went to my VERY FAVORITE mexican restaurant last night for the first time since the band and did well! I put all the food I allowed myself on a single plate and did not even eat it all! I had a margarita' date=' too, which still kept me under my calories.

I was feeling deprived, so I really needed this indulgence within my guidelines to kind of prove to myself that I can eat what I want and still reach my goal. Before, it was all or nothing. If I went to this restaurant, it meant I ate until I was so full I couldn't stand it or I just didn't go.

I'm in hot pursuit of the ever-elusive gray area - life not mandated by rules OR complete overindulgence. I found it last night, but I know that it will be a constant pursuit until I incorporate it into the core of my being - my habits.

[/quote']

Jen- I totally understand where you are coming from. Our past deprivation diets were what caused us to be unsuccessful and eventually regain the weight because to us that is not living. I too am looking for that grey area where I can just live life and enjoy food within the boundaries of my band. I have found that I can make better choices at restaurants and at home now. That mentality if I can't have this or that is gone. It's a great feeling.

For the first time it truly feels like a lifestyle change.

Congrats on conquering your favorite restaurant

Jenymac, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! What an amazing NSV. I totally understand what you are saying.

You proved to me by posting this NSV that you are in control now not the food in control of you, this is a conversation I was having with someone at a party I went to last night. You had a margarita and it was loaded with calories? You incorporated it into your new lifestyle and you accounted for it, to me that says you indulged in something you don't always have and enjoyed but were still within your calories for your day, this is what developing a healthy relationship with food is about and you sound like you've nailed it.

Living with the band IS a lifestyle change not a deprivation diet.

You didn't sound to me like you were rewarding yourself with food you came across to me as a person who is finally in control of living with food.

I've only been banded four months but with my preop diet included I've lost just over 70 pounds. As part of being banded I knew I had to change my relationship with food and I have done that, yes it's early days and who knows how I will be in 12 months time, but last night at the party I proved to myself that I can go to a party or a restaurant and not make food so important that it takes over me completely. Did I have some birthday cake? Hell yes but it was only a sliver, enough to satisfy my taste buds and still be within my portion controls ( I don't count calories). In the past I would have been so focused and drooling as soon as I laid eyes on that cake and couldn't wait to have a piece or two. Last night it was totally different, it was like that's a nice cake and I totally forgot about it till some was offered to me and when it was I was no thank you just had some from my sons plate and went back to my conversation without giving the cake another thought.

Again I say well done!!

Well the only thing I can say is that I do not feel I'm depriving myself from the crap that restuarants serve and the high calorie high fat content of even their salads. I have long learned that these things are not deprivation but killing the public. I do not patron restuarants anymore. I don't deprived myself either because I cook very well and to my satisfaction. I think that everyone has to find their own nitch and mine is not eating the unhealthy crap that they serve. Even if you think they have healthier choices they are not. They are loaded with hidden fats and calories even the salads so I will eat my own food and love it. I don't need that crap anymore to live in my body. But that is just me.

I am with you, I like going out to dinner its the great company and something different. I think it can be a pleasant part of life. You did it the right way by tracking and planning for it that's what we didn't do before and it got us in this situation. good job and congradulation for doing it so well..........................line dancer

I think there's room in a normally slim persons life for indulgence, whether its going out to eat, shopping, bubble baths or something else. The whole point of having WLS is to get to a more normal lifestyle, without all the guilt we feel as obese people. Look around, not everybody eating in a restaurant is obese...I choose to participate in life fully. My friends and family eat out, not ALL restaurant food is crap and I always find a couple of healthy options. I choose restaurants I know will let my hubby and I split an entree, he eats 3/4, I eat my 3 oz protein + veggies and I'm done. At home, I cook for 8 of us, one meal, I just make sure the protein is band friendly and I have a veggie I can tolerate. As a former successful restaurant owner, 1986-1998, I introduced our community to healthy Italian cooking, through our menu, and cooking classes. I've always known how to cook healthy as an adult, I just needed portion control. My band has given me that.

Go ahead and "indulge", just make sure you aren't going to trigger the behaviors that brought you to WLS...

Yay!!!!! An occasional margarita is nice!!!! Honestly I like the regular margarita over the Skinny Girl! I enjoy my favorite Mexican restaurant, too...but so much less than I used to which is so nice with the band.