Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Recommended Posts

I have been In this relationship for 15 years. Some of you know it's not going well.. I'm in therapy deciding if I want or even if I can stay. The man I dated in my teen years has always told me he wished we would of got married. He has only one time made a comment about weight. We have been texting. He is married now. I'm going to go have coffee with him. No big deal.. But I'm not saying who I'm having coffee with. ???????? it feels like a dirty little secret. I try to keep my side of the street clean. I know that my relationship is ending. But I don't want to be that person. I also don't want to use an action like that to give me courage to do the breakup.. That's not fair to anyone. Ugh I think I'm gonna go admit who I'm having lunch with. But I'm still going

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Well, If this was me, I would first sever all ties with current relationship before pursuing another one, with that being said if this man your going to meet for coffee is a good friend that's 1 thing...but I'm from the old school unless his wife knows you and knows that you two are friends and going to have coffee.than I wouldn't meet him. I don't believe nor condone cheating in any sense of the word...and if he leaves his current wife for your....he will leave you for another woman.

And if your in Therapy to help your relationship..why would you even think/dream of having coffee with another man. Fix or end the relationship your in now first.

Once a cheater always a cheater. Wrong...so very Wrong!!

Just my 2 cents of course.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think this whole process is crazy hard on the best of relationships, so if the core isn't strong going in, then there are sure to be mountains that come up. Some people feel that as they start to find themselves they realize that they have 'settled' for way too long and refuse to do so any longer. It's important that you do what you need to do in order to be happy. On that note I agree with your desire to not be that person. I would be very careful in revisiting that relationship when you are feeling so vulnerable and unsure. You admitted that he is married and considering that, I don't recommend putting yourself into a situation that begins with 'behind the scenes', why take a step backwards. As a female in a relationship, put yourself in his wife's shoes. How would you feel if you had a husband and he was going for coffee with someone he wished he had married all those years ago??? Not exactly an empowering life choice :)

Edited by dropdeadweightdiva

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Regardless of what anyone says, you are going to do what you want to do. I caution you to be careful, friendships with the best intentions can easily slip into something else. I am not here to judge you. if you are unhappy, sep from your husband for a trial, continue therapy, and see if that is what both of you really want.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes I won't ever be the other woman. But they have an open relationship. We don't. I told my other half about lunch and the only comment I got was about that my lipstick was too red and bring home jimboys

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

.

Edited by woo woo

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The other man has an "open" relationship with his wife. Yeah, right. That's what they all say....

Either figure out your relationship, or end it. Then move on to having coffee with other men. Unmarried ones, preferably.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

You want to be one of the many in the open relationship?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

This is so cliche.

You're in a bad relationship.

He's in an open marriage.

Right.

You're unhappy.

He's always loved you.

Right.

This will keep us entertained for about three months.

That's about how long these things take to build up, bang, and go bust.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I am of the mind that you must do whatever it takes to tear yourself out of your unhealthy situation. Whatever it takes.

I can't agree. I wouldn't do that to another woman nor would I want a man who isn't faithful.

I also fancy myself strong enough to get out a bad relationship on my own and without the "help" of another relationship.

Again, that's just me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have been in this situation before where and old "friend" wants to have lunch/coffee whatever, and even though it may be harmless, I always put myself in my husbands shoes. How would I feel if he went out to lunch/coffee with and old "friend". I would be so freakin jealous so I just have never let myself in that situation and neither has he.

Good luck with your decision. That's just my 2 cents worth!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

We're all doing a lot of judging but not much actual talking about this. I think it's a little unfair. It's touchy but let's really open and talk rather than just judge, shame and criticize.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have a number of friends in very successful marriages that are open to one degree or another.

I also have a number of friends that believe you can love more than one person at a time.

I don't think this guy's marriage state has any bearing on the real issue.

Personally, I think having this coffee would only muddy the waters. You need to decide what you can live with and what you cannot, and then act accordingly. An attraction to someone else should not be a part of this decision.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No I happen to know his wife. We have all gone out together and she's polly. Today was a rough day. I probably acted out due to the fact that it was my dads birthday. He And his twin brother went missing in Sitka 10 years ago. I choose to care for my mother who's dementia has made her mean. I love her and want her to have freedom. But she thinks I steal and will say I'm worthless. I am

Aware this is the dementia. My mom loves me. My other half wants to move to another state. I have said have fun go goodbye. And the weapon wielded today is. Why would you stay. Your mom hates you. She thinks your a POS ect ect. Until I

Cryed. I'm not going to cheat but yes I did use my ex to feel human. To have someone look at me as ... Me was great. I'm aware this is a long freaking post and no I'm not saying that my emotional state makes an affair ok. But yes I was debating cheating to use as a chickens way to quickly end this dragging out crap relationship that I'm sure is over but I can't pull the trigger.

Edited by Countrygrrl

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

  • Recent Topics

  • Most popular:

  • Recent Status Updates

    • Mousiana

      Hate thinking about foods I used to love... Burgers & wings. Gotta stay focused. 😤
      · 1 reply
      1. WilliamZef

        https://gayxxx24.com - GayXXX Free Gay Porn Movies & Videos Free Gay XXX - Gay XXX.

    • Arabesque

      Went to see the Star Wars movie yesterday. (Glad I waited as no one else was in the cinema for the midday session - yes!) Hadn’t been to the cinema for a few months and OMG I suffered the most terrible butt pain.  So uncomfortable. Started after 30 mins. Was in the premium cinema so grabbed a cushion to sit on but it didn’t help. Ended up sitting sideways in the chair, stretched out on an ottoman. Soooo super glad no one else was there. Sometimes I do miss my old butt fat cushioning... but not really. 
      · 1 reply
      1. Panda333

        ha..I have that issue too.....miss my built in pillow!

    • Hollyh

      Approved surgery in am yea!
      · 3 replies
      1. Combowep

        https://blog.earny.me

      2. Tobencah

        Hello

      3. Tobencah

        Hello

    • maggie78

      I have a surgery date, I have my next doctor appointment on Wed and then Thursday I start my 2 week liquid pre-op diet. I am very nervous right now. I know it's going to be a tough mind game. 
      · 1 reply
      1. GreenTealael

        💚 Congratulations, you'll do great 💚

    • SabrinaGoddess

      Week 5 Post Op Report

      What a journey! I am 5 weeks from surgery and a total of 24.4 pounds down!

      I feel amazing! I’ve incorporated a ton of walking and I’m using my Apple Watch to help me along! I have closed all three of my fitness rings for 11 days straight! Ok, so I am in LOVE with my Apple Watch. I've had it for almost a year and I am just now tapping into it's fitness power!

      I keep on top of my protein, vitamins and biotin!

      I struggle with water but I average about 50 ounces a day. I have only had one day where I had to “purge” because something did not agree with me. Tuna and my Tiny Tummy still do not agree so I’m going to leave it alone for a while!

      I walk on average a little more than 3 miles a day for my exercise but manage to get in at least 13,000-17,000 steps a day depending on how my schedule goes.

      I get up every hour and walk around for at least five minutes. Then if I’m watching a show I get up and walk in place during the commercials!

      I meet with my doc this week for a progress report.

      I have one more week before I graduate from soft foods to the final phase!

      I’ve got my cookbooks ready, my food scale ready and my measuring plates ready!

      I could NOT be more happy with my progress! I feel amazing and I’m grateful to have this tool!

      None Scale Victory: My rings on my finger are spinning!




      · 3 replies
      1. Krimsonbutterflies

        Sabrina, you are doing so well. I'm truly inspired and equally excited for you. The view you shared is breathtaking and relaxing, I'm in love with the ocean. Please keep sharing. Where did you find the trackers and how do I access them? My date is approaching the 31st, I'm in liquid diet mode. I see my surgeon on the 17th. Any advice?

      2. SabrinaGoddess

        You got this sis! You totally do.
        The ocean is so peaceful. Some days I get blessed with seeing whales, dolphins and seals. It is truly amazing.

        You can go to under our name at the top left section and click "TICKERS" you can create them there. Then when you lose weight you just go to "my surgery" and change your weight and they will adjust.

        On the liquids, do sugar free pop-cycles. They are more like a treat than a liquid and they count as 2 ounces each! Liquids not the funnest part of our journey but who cares....LOL. I do like the IsoPure clear liquid protein drinks, you can get them at GNC. The flavors are ok. I also LOVED Kettle and FIre Broth and Epic Broths so I drank them all the time, it's good for you. It's BONE BROTH. Kinda pricey but the good stuff usually is.

      3. Krimsonbutterflies

        Thank you for the encouragement/positivity!!! I'm going to conquer this liquid phase, moment by moment. I also appreciate the mini tutorial of how to get the ticker. I'm thinking of starting status updates after my pre-op visit with the surgeon on Friday. I really enjoy the personal perspective and experience being shared, without feeling like the thread is being dominated. I look forward to how each person is approaching the wls lifestyle. Thank you lady, good night. Happy Whale watching. I love seeing the dolphins at Hermosa Beach.

  • Trending Topics

  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs
    ×