Walked into my best friends sons birthday party today..she says loudly "can you still eat food cuz there's tons of pizza!?" Then explains to everyone soon ill be going in a liquid diet for my bariatric surgery. Lots of awkward silence followed, with one particular cute but chunky girl looking extra horrified. I was pissed that my friend put me on the spot. But then..

Aforementioned cute chunky girl stares at the cake. She wants some so badly. My friend tells her just eat a damn piece of cake. She declines. Stares at the cake for an hour. She can't have any cuz she's on a diet. Another hour passes. Shes shaking she wants it so bad.She eats a small piece of cake. And then a big one. And then 4 slices of pizza and bread and pop. My friend says "dont come crying to me when the scale pisses you off Monday." Cute chunky girl says "I know but I have to start all over Monday anyway cuz tomorrow is Joe's Crab Shack and I'm not dieting there."

Ah. It hits me. This is why I'm doing it. I want to hug her and tell her I know. I've had so many start over Mondays, sister. I was once the cute chunky girl with 40 lbs to lose. I've dieted my way up to the morbidly obese girl with an extremely messed up relationship with food.

Pushed send to soon.

But this is why. I'm taking control. I'm not letting it control me anymore. I'm not struggling all week to be so good and then gorging myself on the weekend and starting over on Monday. This is why. Thank you cute chunky girl. I hope you can find a way to win too.

I can Sooo relate!

I am ready to take back my life.

Yes girl!!! Me too...me and food have a love hate relationship. BTW your friend is a HATER, why else would she do that? I would have killed her right there and would have had to lose weight in jail...Lol! I haven't shared my surgery with anyone but my best friend and my daughter so for an entire room full if ppl to hear it from a so called friend would have just horrified me.

You are going to be beautiful..and maybe just maybe you should keep more supportive ppl around you. XOXO

Good for you! Sorry to hear some of the things your best friend says to you and others:(

Time to tell your "friend" a thing or two...? What she did was just wrong!

I know just what you are saying. I am sod tired of yo-yo dieting. Loose 60 gain 65. My sister was sleeved in March and doing great. Has lost close to 80lbs. I can't wait until it is my turn.

BTW. I too am Mrs. Fuller AND a RN. Thought that was funny when I saw your name.

Wow, what an insensitive friend!! But boy can I relate to everything you said! I was sleeved on the 26th and already my relationship with food feels way different. But I did it for many of the same reasons you described. Now that the pounds are coming off and I did something pretty drastic to make it happen, my heavier friends and sister are getting kind of nervous and uncomfortable. I don't want them to be but I inwardly sigh when they talk about the next diet they are going to try (hcg, WW, South Beach, etc). They all currently weigh less than me so they keep saying they wouldn't qualify for surgery. It isn't true but I think it makes me feel better saying it. I'll let them but the thing is, I won't weigh more than them for long. This is all a work in progress...

I absolutely can relate... or how many times I have restricted myself from something and in turn caused myself to obsess about food until the point that I ate something... if not the item, in larger quantity afterwards.

My heart breaks for that little girl! I was that little girl and spent many years on diets. I just wish parents would be more proactive for their children and keep the junk out of the house and unplug the gaming electronics. My childhood memories were enough for me to never let my children get heavy. I succeeded for them and now it is my turn. I am sorry that your friend outed you to a whole room of people. I would have been furious with her! She needs a good whipping out back by the shed! She is jealous and acting out like a child and had no regard for your privacy or feelings. It was all about making herself feel better. She is afraid you are going to lose your weight and out shine her and you know what.....YOU WILL! Make sure your smiling while your doing it!!

I wouldn't go as far as saying she's jealous, seems like it was just a slip of the tongue and of course as the party planner she probably wasn't thinking about what she said. Oh well, that will probably be the least of the silly comments you will hear, especially once you start losing. I'm an RN too and chose to tell everyone at work what I'm doing so I will hopefully not have to hear so many dumb comments, but we all know how stupid people can be. What can you do but "water off a duck's back" it.

{)i(} Sent from my iPhone using VST {)i(}

They all currently weigh less than me so they keep saying they wouldn't qualify for surgery. It isn't true but I think it makes me feel better saying it. I'll let them but the thing is, I won't weigh more than them for long. This is all a work in progress...

That's funny to hear you say that. For the longest time, I told myself that, because I was told you had to have 100 lbs extra to lose and I didn't have that much. I had no co-morbidities that could be taken into account. Finally of course, I put on enough to have 90 lbs to lose, but each time someone said to me that I didn't weigh enough, I'd think to myself "Just tell me how much I have to put on, because I sure as heck can!"

Despite that, when I had 90 lbs to lose, I was fairly well horrified. Because now, I DID have enough to quality for WLS. It was a horrible realization.

And of course, I am surrounded by loving, supportive people so not ONE person said to me "Oh you don't need the surgery!" and perversely, I really wanted at least one of my friends to go, "you don't weigh enough".

No one did. (Wondering whether to put happy face here or sad face?)

I feel for cute chunky girl. I was fortunate enough to not be able to eat 4 slices of pizza and cake even before surgery but the struggle is still the same, even if all you're trying to avoid is a second slice of pizza.

I know just what you are saying. I am sod tired of yo-yo dieting. Loose 60 gain 65. My sister was sleeved in March and doing great. Has lost close to 80lbs. I can't wait until it is my turn.

BTW. I too am Mrs. Fuller AND a RN. Thought that was funny when I saw your name.

Creepy!

My heart breaks for that little girl! I was that little girl and spent many years on diets. I just wish parents would be more proactive for their children and keep the junk out of the house and unplug the gaming electronics. My childhood memories were enough for me to never let my children get heavy. I succeeded for them and now it is my turn. I am sorry that your friend outed you to a whole room of people. I would have been furious with her! She needs a good whipping out back by the shed! She is jealous and acting out like a child and had no regard for your privacy or feelings. It was all about making herself feel better. She is afraid you are going to lose your weight and out shine her and you know what.....YOU WILL! Make sure your smiling while your doing it!!

She is an adult, not a little girl. But I know what u mean. My kids are healthy weights. I've made it quite a priority. Now it's my turn

Also in regards to my friend, I know she wasn't meaning anything bad. She has never been far so she has no idea how many emotions were involved in my decision.

Your "friend" is not a friend. To you or sweet chunky girl. She's clearly oblivious to the power of her words. Explain it to her. Give her a chance to see the error of her ways. Otherwise find others for support because it won't be her. Sounds to me like she had her own issues and wants to keep heavy people heavy to soothe what ails her

. I've dieted my way up to the morbidly obese girl with an extremely messed up relationship with food.

This really resonated. I never thought of it quite like this before but that is exactly what I did. I dieted my way to morbid obesity.

I see people like your chunky cute girl frequently now and see parallels to those who are already morbidly obese; in the relationship with food, the food is in control.