How to forgive someone?


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“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” ~Mahatma Gandhi

Many of us are or have been emotional eaters, an attempt to soothe our souls with food, maybe grow a physical buffer of fat to insulate us from the emotional assault. Now that you have had WLS no longer can you turn to food in times of crisis. How do you forgive someone when every Fiber of your being resists? How do you look at them lovingly when you still have the memory of their unloving action? How do you let go of the way you wish things had worked out if only they made a different choice? After all, no one is purely bad, and everyone carries their own pain which influences the decisions they make. This doesn’t condone their thoughtless, insensitive, or selfish decisions, but it makes them easier to understand.

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I don't forgive or forget, lol. I am tolerant of those who happen to still be around and who have wronged me, but for the most part I eliminate them from my life. The only person I am worried about forgiving is myself and frankly, to hell with anyone else. :)

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How did you forgive yourself?

I don't forgive or forget, lol. I am tolerant of those who happen to still be around and who have wronged me, but for the most part I eliminate them from my life. The only person I am worried about forgiving is myself and frankly, to hell with anyone else. :)

Redmaxx likes this 1 Like this

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I think Gandhi's quote says it.

How can you forgive when you feel so disappointed and hurt - but that's a heavy load to carry and I find I am punishing myself more than all others when I stay there for very long. I get stronger by letting go but need to have the strength to do it.

While it doesn't excuse another's poor treatment of me (or you or anyone), I find taking responsibility for my contribution to the"problem" helps me get a bit past it.

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You take it one day at a time. Forgiveness is not easy ... and I don't give it out often.

You have to decide if that person & situation actually deserve to be forgiven. Whether they will do this again, or something worse.

Keep in mind, you don't have to forgive them. But you have to find a way to forgive yourself for falling for their bull. We are human, and want to see the best in others. It hurts to know someone you trusted did something to betray that valuable item you gave them. You learn to be more cautious, and learn that even you make mistakes (even if you don't forgive them).

Good luck

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@@My Bariatric Life For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. Matthew 6:14 , that's how! If you don't believe than I guess you just have to suck it up and forgive them even its for yourself and piece of mind.

Edited by Elode

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Forgiveness is far easier than forgetting, and forgiving can be the hardest thing you'll ever do. When you forgive someone, you release. You release the person(s) involved, and you release yourself from the sadness, anger, hate which all contribute to very harmful effects on YOU. Now, I agree with Elode, and believe as she does. But God did not make us stupid. Do NOT allow the same wrongs to happen to you again. Learn from the past, and carry on.

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I believe that when I hold on to anger and bitterness, that I am hurting myself more than the person who wronged me. So for me, forgiveness is in my own best interest. However, that doesn't mean I will forget the wrong. And in the future I am less likely to give my trust to that person.

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@@My Bariatric Life

I choose not to let other peoples negativity effect me. It is truly their own problem. Life is far to short. I keep the positive supportive people around me. I take the high road and move on with life. When others are out to tear people down why would you invest any energy either way with them? Forgiving is for yourself.

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I don't hate - but I don't 'forgive' easily either, if forgiving means letting you put me in a position where you can do it again.. I just kind of relegate them to the irrelevant list. I'll still interact and be polite, and help you if I can - but I assume that if you've done it once you'll do it again... so, for example, if you don't pay me back the $20 I loaned you, I can't loan you any more money. I'm not mad.. just not stupid.

On the other hand.. I forgive my husband for forgetting stuff all the time, but I try to avoid giving him important things to remember - like picking the kids up or dropping off the rent check... 'cause he forgets.

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