I am sending the this link to my family that I have not told. But all of you in the VST are welcome to read my story.

This picture was taken last week.

Before it’s too late

Dear family,

I hope that you won’t consider me a cheater, talk behind my back, and tell everybody. I hope that you will instead congratulate my hard work that will come from exercising, dietary changes, and commitment to a healthier me. To be honest I thought about never telling you but because I love you and I hope you will support me I want to tell you how my life will change April 25^th and why.

My name is _______ and I suffer from the disease of Morbid Obesity. Yes, morbid meaning if I don’t lose weight I will most likely die of a complication due to my excess pounds. I have been overweight my entire life. All I want is one chance at a normal body and there is nothing in this world that would allow me to ever gain this death that surrounds my bones again.

The thought of some people is how can you call fat a disease? Well heavy smokers call it lung cancer and there are a host of other diseases that we, in some ways, inflict on ourselves… but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have surgeries and get treatments for it. Almost 9 months ago I woke up and couldn’t walk because of my knee. This lasted for about 3 days. After going to my knee doctor he said I needed to either get a knee replacement or suggested I consider bariatric surgery. After meeting with my primary care doctor, a nutritionist, a bariatric surgeon, and a psychiatrist I decided I would start the 6 month process.

The never-ending pain in my knees, ankles and feet and arising health issues made me start the education process in August. However, it was the tumor on my pituitary gland that may be the culprit of my headaches and inability to lose weight that made me sign of the dotted line.

It took me 13 years of dieting for me to realize that I am not going to lose this weight alone. I yo-yo and end up gaining instead of losing pounds. Changing the way I eat and exercise alone will not allow me to lose the weight I need to. So, no, I am not getting gastric bypass or lap-band but rather a Sleeve Gastrectomy. This surgery will cut off the wildly overstretched part of my stomach and make it smaller and therefore also remove the gherelin. Although I will lose weight… it’s up to me how much and if I will maintain it.

Some may wonder why I would want to get the surgery since I am "not that fat" according to the black community or "still sexy" according to myself and others. But let's be honest... I'm 26 years old and 245 pounds- and this is not my heaviest.

Losing weight is not just cosmetic for me. As a morbidly obese woman I have trouble walking because of the stress on my arthritic knee. I have migraines. I have an irregular period. I have a lot of facial hair due to the hormones produced from being obese. My pants often dig into my stomach to the point I become light headed... and this is when I wear my size but my stomach protrudes immensely. I break chairs, beds, and hammocks. I feel embarrassed to dance because I am jiggling in the wrong places (lol). I laugh at my pain and exude an overconfidence to cover up my inner insecurities. I have been able to fit my mother’s hand-me-downs since I was 11. I’m tired of being ((insert compliment here)) for a fat girl. I also am tired of facing the discrimination that I get in the world for being a big black woman. I want to live a life that isn’t suffocated by layers of fat and cellulose. I want to walk without getting out of breath and being in pain. I want to be carried over the threshold. And most of all… I don’t want to die.

So, please if you love me… don’t discredit my efforts by telling the world about my personal decision to have surgery. This is only between me and very few people I am sharing this with. Please support me and be there for me while I continue with this journey. A year from now I will be about 150 pounds and healthy… see you on the losers bench J

http://www.endocrineweb.com/conditions/pituitary-tumors/pituitary-tumor-symptoms

God be with you on this journey. You are amazing!

Beautiful, well-written letter. Bless your heart! xoxo

Awesome letter!!! Very touching and inspirational!

You go girl!! I didn't have much resistance from friends and family, probably because I didn't care what they thought. I was going to do it no matter what. I can certainly relate though. Had I been as young as you, I probably would have encountered some opposing opinions. This gray hair seems to garner a little more respect, I think. Keep you eye on the prize. You're gonna love your sleeve. I got mine last week and love it already.

This letter is just beautiful and made me cry too. I wish you much success. I'm going to be sleaved in July/August as well, so I'll be following your journey.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us. I was VERY hesitant about telling my parents, but they have been my greatest supporters. I look forward to following your journey and joining you on the losers bench.

Thank you all for your encouraging words. So far, so good with my family. I can tell it's mixed feelings with most of them but I ask confident it'll ask work out. Wednesday is coming so soon!

Wow!!! I applaud your strength and courage!! Amazing and you will do great!!!