Last night to my shock and horror I was dumped. After almost 4 years together. I'm still in shock and have gotten only 2 hours sleep (after taking some anxiety meds). I don't know what to feel or think. Everything is foggy around me. I'm scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. I'm so confused I don't know if I should go through with it or not.

Dear Eeyore,

BOYS ARE MADE OF POOP! - especially that fart head scum breath who isn't equipped (in so many ways) to handle a self-actualized, strong woman. Screw him.

Love,

Chaucer's Wench

I can understand your heartache. I was dumped 3mos before our wedding after a 4yr relationship. I only wish I had this oppurtunity back then to boost my spirits. 4yrs is a long time to spend with one person...so imagine what 4yrs from now can hold for you!! If you decide to go thru the banding...hold your head high. When the physical pain hurts, fight it off along with the emotional pain. Reward yourself for every little accomplishment you make during the post-op period (not with food, I mean). The true love of your life is dying to meet you one day soon!!

If anything, this should help to strengthen your resolve to focus on yourself for a little while. Just think of this loss as one more change on the journey to a healthier, happier you in the future.

The surgery is not really a difficult recovery. I am sure you can do it with no problem. Just remember, you have the forum here to focus on. After surgery, I practically lived on this and other forums when I had free time.

You do have a support system and everyone is rooting for you to do well. You are not alone . . . most of us have been there/done that at one time or another in our lives.

Today is a new day. Tomorrow is surgery day. I'm actually hungry today, which I haven't been since saturday night. You'd think I'd have dropped some more weight but I haven't exactly been motivated to get outside much. I went for two walks yesterday and I'll go on another today. I also slept a little this morning. I tried sleeping last night and had some sort of nightmare - I remember feeling like the ceiling was falling on me and the next thing I know I was face down on the floor in the bedroom doorway. My knees are sore me, as is my right elbow, my right arm - in the bicep area and my lower back. My knees are bruised and a little swollen and I have a patch of rug burn on my elbow (though I have hard wood floors). I really don't know how I got there or what happened - I'm guessing I tripped or something. I took some advil and fell asleep for 4 hours. My head is a little more clear but the heartache isn't any less. Oh and I got a text message asking me how I was. Seriously??? HOW THE F DO YOU THINK I AM???? It just started all over again. :thumbup: Oh well. Today is a new day, tomorrow is surgery and a new dawn awaits. Thanks again everyone.

It must be dump week. I too was dumped after a two year relationship. We were best friends for eight years prior. I thought I met my soul mate. well, least to say, "everything happens for a reason". I thought everything was fine, in fact, everything was perfect. we talked about getting married and having children. funny how I never wanted to get married or have any more children ( i have a 14 yr old) before we were together. I do wish you the best. since I am in that hurting phase I cant tell you you will get over it soon. best wishes.

Eeyore- Welcome to Bandland. It is your exes loss that he could not share in the transformation you are going through. Some men have no respect for themselves and date a woman they think are "broken." However when the woman says, "Alright I am going to fix myself up and make a few changes around here!" The men hit the deck, because they feel that they would never be able to hold on to a woman who has everything and is not "broken" anymore. Your ex did you a favor by stepping aside and letting you move forward in your life.

I am not saying the next month or two will be a cake walk, but it is do-able. Make sure you have a strong in-house support team for the first couple of days after banding, and then make sure you get visitors often.

Another thing: It is hard to turn off love, so allow yourself to grieve.

(Even if we all think he is a jerk!)

I made it home about 20 minutes ago. I ended up staying over night as I probably wasn't going to get out of the hospital before 10pm anyway and it just made me feel more comfortable being around people who could take care of me if needed. Thanks again everyone. Now its time to recover - my belly and my heart.

My prayers are with you, truly they are. I had my surgery 12/31/07 - New Year, New me!! My boyfriend of almost 2 years and I were best friends for 3 years prior to HIM deciding he wanted to start dating. January 24th, he started acting funny, and I couldn't handle it anymore (prior issues were there, we both ignored them). I asked him to leave on January 31st and although I've been broken hearted and very depressed - I'm still breathing and finally on the road to losing weight. The hardest thing for me was head hunger - everytime I had an "issue" PRE-BAND, I would turn to food, and couldn't anymore. I was also having problems at work - so 2008 didn't start out so great for me, but I'm moving along....I've lost 2 sizes, and feeling better finally.

Please keep your head up - concentrate on YOU, and get out and do things.. the difficult times for me to want to eat is when I'm alone. I will keep you in my prayers...and if you would like to talk ANYTIME, I'm here for you!!! ALot of us are...this is a great site!! GOD BLESS and Congrats on your surgery - you did it!!!

congratulations on having the sugery and the start of the next stage of your wonderful life Eeyore.

Good deal, Eeyore!! Thanks for letting us know you've made it home! Hugs.

Hi Eeyore,

I'm so happy you had the surgery! It's true what everyone is saying, that he did you a favor. You are going to be just fine and it's truly HIS loss. Good luck with your recovery and keep us posted!

Lisa

I'm so glad you decided to go ahead with the surgery. You're an inspiration. I've had a bump in the road recently as well. My oldest son decided that life would be better with his father. I said goodbye to him 2 days ago. It was very difficult and painful for me and I started second guessing my surgery too. I'm so glad you pushed through and are moving on. I will be too.

I went thru that at one time too, Carrie. I'm sorry for the pain I know you are going through...but it'll be okay. I told myself that in a divorce one parent has to be unhappy (w/o the kids), so it might as well be me...and it is simply a consequence of divorce. $20 says he'll be back in a year or less.

Eeyore...hope you're doing okay! You've got lots of support here!

Hi Eeyore,

I'm so glad to read that you went ahead with your lapband surgery. Congratulations on your success! You are starting on an entirely new life and we are here to help you be successful:)

Since you are alone at home, a few things to remember:

Follow your post-op instructions

Follow your doctor's instructions

Walk, walk, walk, at least for 10 minutes every hour or so, so you don't get blood clots in your legs. If you can't walk, at least flex your feet up and down to keep the blood moving in your legs. It is very important to keep your legs moving.

Search the website for post-op care and pointers. Lots of great advice from your fellow bandsters.

Good luck, and keep posting. We are here for you.

Take care,

Cherlita

Banded 11.27.07

379/335/180

Eeyore, hope you're feeling good right now! Remember, movement is good for the heart...and good for the farts!!!

Keep your chin up, thinking about you!!