Last night to my shock and horror I was dumped. After almost 4 years together. I'm still in shock and have gotten only 2 hours sleep (after taking some anxiety meds). I don't know what to feel or think. Everything is foggy around me. I'm scheduled for surgery on Tuesday. I'm so confused I don't know if I should go through with it or not.

Hi, right before I had my surgery (maybe a week) I was also "dropped like a hot potato". I was totally shocked, never saw it coming, thought we would get married, happiest I had ever been, blah blah blah. For me it had been two years (days before our second anniversary which happens to be Patriot's Day - which in MA is the day of the Boston Marathon so its not like I could forget it, its only on the news every day around that time). I just couldn't believe it, and was hurt not only in my heart, but my self confidence was CRUSHED. Now that I look back, I do know that he had a lot of issues, and wasn't really the one to spend my life with, but still, it was horrible. I can't believe how hard it hit me, I was a mess for a good two months. A little bit of me thinks it might have something to do with the lap band, he was almost 400 lbs, and though he was a good guy, maybe he felt threatened. Who knows, I try to think of things that make me feel a little better, I still feel so sad, and get into that "why wasn't I good enough?" but I know everyone has been there and its just one of those things that makes us stronger. You will be okay, someday you will meet the most fabulous man in the world and maybe deep down inside you know that he wasn't good enough for you. I hope so anyways, that's what I'm counting on. I feel for you, nothing worse than a broken heart, but go on with your surgery, you might be just mad enough to have it propel you forward and I bet you will totally kick butt!

Juicy I am so sorry for you too ... A broken heart is the worst pain.. NOthing you can take for it .. Your heart will mend I promise and you will be stronger and you won't look back .You are making great choices now and life will follow and it will be a great new journey..I hate this saying but time does heal.. and by the way no more blaming yourself or second guessing !!!!!! It just didn't work .. You and Eeyor are gonna be so happy you just wait and see .

Hi everyone.

First I wanted to say thank you for 'listening' to my woes over the past few months. Your support is priceless. Thought I'd give a quick update...

Its coming up on 3 months since my heart was ripped out of my chest and while still painful at times, things are looking up. The past few months have been a roller coaster of emotions - I'm sure anyone can relate to this, and it all seems some what foggy. However I went away for a couple of weeks and I'm not sure what happened exactly but its as if a light bulb went off or switch was flipped. Weird experience was coming home, I met this guy. Complete womanizer but hilarious, very charming and cute. No nothing happened -get your minds out of the gutter . But he made me feel attractive again, something I hadn't felt in a very long time and what is more funny is that I forgot what that initial attraction felt like. Those feelings that I can best describe as confidence and excitement have been very empowering. Suddenly I realized that I will get other chances at love and happiness, that life wasn't over. I wouldn't say that I'm healed but I think its progress. Though discouraged by not losing lbs apparently I've been losing inches (down 2 dress sizes!!!) and generally feeling better physically and emotionally.

Thanks again to everyone for your support and encouragement. :biggrin2:

Eeyore, I'm glad you're starting to feel better. I like your story of the guy on the way home. :thumbup: Nice when you can have something so harmless like that happen and yet make such a difference in how you feel or your outlook. Take care! Oh and congrats on the lost inches!!!

Eeyore,

I am so pleased that you are starting to feel better about your situation...and yahoo on down 2 dress sizes!

Keep focused on your goal and a positive attitude.

Take care.

edited by eeyore

Edited August 25, 200817 yr by Eeyore

You know what? It's time to take care of you and move on from him. Erase his numbers from your cell and home phones and ignore him completely. I think this creep gets some sort of pleasure out of watching you get upset. He loves to keep you miserable and enough is enough. I do not know you but from what I read in this post you are above him in every way. Do not let him ruin all of the hard work you have already put into this journey. Let her have him I say. I have been having the same conversation with my sister he's not worth it. Keep yourself busy go for a walk, go to the gym if you belong to one or a night out with the girls.

If you do catch up with him and he gives you these false promises just tell him you know what I am busy right now why don't you go and talk to your new girlfriend I have a life to live and it does not include you and your problems. Have a nice life! Do not go to his level by texting or calling him either because really who is it hurting not him? Sure he may get pissed but what will you get out of it other than more misery. I'm sorry for being forward but it's a sore spot right now since my sister is going through something similar.

Stay strong you will be fine really! I find nothing wrong with coming here and talking about it I found that there are very nice people here.

I've been following your heartbreak and boy am I sorry. I would really encourage you to try to find a counselor who can help you work through your self esteem and self worth issues. We are the ones who tell ourselves the stupid lies we come to believe... sometimes it helps to have someone who's trained to undo that damage, help us be healthier in our minds. I've got a great counselor, and it's helped me immensley. Don't run home just yet, hang in there, and show this loser what you're made of girlfriend!

EEyore first thng we need to do is change your name from Eeyore to a Tigger ..You need to toally disconnect with him..Like the other poster said delete his name and number from all files.. Painful as it will be you have to take the first step... You still had hope of being more than friends ..Who needs a firend like that...

Take it so slow and only one day at a time ...

We are here for you and never forget you are never alone ..

When God shuts a door he always has another one open and ready for you ...

Take care and try not to ever talk to him again ....

I agree with the last posts. He has moved on, and you should too . . . this man and the past relationship continues to exert too much influence over you by keeping the lines of communication open . . . and who is the one who is hurting??? Sending messages to him over the weekend is really just causing you to think more about the situation and will just make you more unhappy in the end.

Many, many people who go through a serious life transforming event end up changing partners anyway. Who are you going to be when you finish with this journey??? You may find that you have outgrown the things that originally attracted you to this man.

I also agree with the name change. Eeyore always had a "woe as me" attitude. Tigger always had a good attitude (which got him into trouble from time to time) but he enthusiastically moved ahead.

Be strong and move beyond this as difficult as it seems. Focus on yourself and becoming stronger, healthier, and more balanced emotionally to help build up your self esteem. You are under a lot of stress right now and counseling may definitely help you move ahead to the future.

Who do you want to be in the future??? How would you like to see yourself down the road??? Visualize it and then make it happen.

I second and third what all other posters said.

Y'know what? I went thru something similar when I was your age. And I did it "your way" for quite some time. I eventually got my head out of my butt (tee hee) and did it like these other girls are advising. Deleted his emails, burned his cards, deleted his phone numbers, and STOPPED TAKING HIS CALLS. Turned out that was really the only way I was ever going to move on. It worked. The way you are doing it only draws out the pain over a period of months (or years!), where as just making a clean break shortens that period a great deal! Besides, it's very satisfying watching him squirm when you stop talking!

Take it from one who knows. Been there, done that.

Read: [ame=http://www.amazon.com/gp/offer-listing/0684848066/ref=sr_1_olp_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219682313&sr=1-1] In the Meantime [/ame]by Iyanla VanZant

edited by eeyore