I'm not 100% sure exactly what's going on with me, so I'm going to try my best to explain my situation.

I got the RNY 2 months ago almost to the day (my anniversary is tomorrow) actually and I've experienced struggles like nausea, lack of appetite, etc. which is pretty par for the course so far.

My issues with nausea, getting in fluids, Vitamins, and Proteins, etc. had me feeling weak and tired constantly. Having to get IV fluids earlier this week helped put into perspective that I have to do better.

My situation was eye opening, but it wasn't particularly scary or traumatic. I've definitely been in the hospital for worse things and I've felt worse physically.

But I can't stop thinking about the future and the consequences of continuing to not get in enough fluids and Protein. The thoughts are literally scaring me to the point of having issues staying relaxed and sleeping well.

It's almost as if I think that I’m in immediate danger or that I’m going to die or something soon. I think the idea of suffering and THEN dying is giving me more anxiety than actually thinking about imminent death itself.

This probably sounds silly, but every day I feel scared and worried. I'm doing better about things but I'm not quite meeting my Fluid and protein goals yet.

I'm sure this is all exasperated by the fact that I don’t have a job or a regular schedule (I stay at home all day) so I have a lot of time to spend alone with my thoughts.

I am actually watching youtube videos by MadeUpMama as we speak. Watch her 6 week post op video, then her 32 week video. Maybe it will help...

(they are long, but you will get the gist after just a few minutes so don't have to watch the whole things)...

Iv just had my gastric sleeve Done on Monday I'm not going to lie I woz pooing myself I'm now in recovery at spire hospital I go home tomorrow I think it will be the best decision you will make it's a new journey in our lives good luck keep me posted if u need to ask me out feel free x

I have an in person support group meeting tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

I'm on Buspar for my anxiety. I have the same feelings that you do. I am thinking about going for IV fluids because I'm dumping and I'm not getting enough liquids.

Good luck [emoji6] hope all goes well

I really wonder if my insomnia is contributing to my mood swings. I'm sleeping less than 3 hours a night.

Yay! Glad you will have a group to talk to!

And, of course, goes without saying, you are NOT beyond help at all! This, too shall pass.

Do you remember a time several years ago when you were really angry? Just furious? Are you still AS angry now? (If yes, then choose a different time!) Hopefully you don't even remember what it was about.

Time really can make things look and feel different. Right NOW the initial excitement and healing phase of the surgery has passed, but your body and mind have truly just begun the work of the beginning of the rest of your life.

The fat is being broken down, releasing tons of stored hormones and chemicals. The scale might slow down as the body adjusts, and your mind is under a huge strain.

Those videos of Mama shows this. At 6 weeks she is angry, rather than anxious, so it may be easier to recognise how her fears seem a bit "bigger" than they need to be. By 32 weeks, she is no longer angry or fearful, and you can see her calmness. Her body and mind had the time to get used to her baby tummy.

Even though time will help, you need something to help you through this NOW. Thus meds and counseling.

Yes, you need sleep to heal.

I didn’t realize the magnitude of every day life after surgery. I took it lightly and I realize that now.

No one can imagine how hard a journey will be until they live it. And the journey is different for each of us. You are going to do great in your journey, even if it does have some rough Patches.

[Hugs]

Most of the folks I see posting about regrets or being overwhelmed or not feeling good are within the first several months after surgery. So it's normal to feel this way! But you do need to ask for your surgeon's help (like with the insomnia) and take advantage of support stuff like therapy, support groups, posting here, etc.

I've never dealt with this kind of anxiety and living in fear before. It's new and it’s freaking me out.

I'm trying to think of what I can write that would be useful. I'm 130 pounds lighter and 18 months post op. I can pretty much eat everything. This surgery is not a life sentence of no fluids and applesauce. Make sure to take meds vitamins and sip water and protein shakes. You don't have to be perfect your body will heal but you must get some rest. Try and get some walks in and realize you have 1 year to lose most of your weight. This is an opportunity not a curse. Take this year to lose what you can and get healthy. After that it will about maintaining and losing maybe a few more pounds. I'm amazed at how much I can eat now and not gain weight. It was the best decision I made for my health and relationships in all ways.

[emoji106]?

I'm just praying that this decision doesn't end up being too great for me.