I was all set to have the lap band on July 6th, and I let family talk me out of it. I work in a hospital that has a weight loss facility. Everything went wellgetting insurance approval,and the cost was going to be very reasonable due to me being an employee. My sister also works at this hospital as an RN, and harshly voiced her negative opinion against the dr performing the surgery, and also told everyone she knew (they also know me) in the hospital about the bad choice I was making. My husband also became extremely worried the night before my surgery due to friends influencing him. I therefore cancelled. Has anyone had such problems getting support from the people that mean the most?

My husband and I are the only ones who know what I am doing. I am having my band placed while on a vacation week. I didn't want to have to go through the office for anything. If I told my boss the whole place would have known and tried to talk me out of it. I have co-workers that when I try to lose weight they try to. It 's crazy. They watch me like a hawk. What I eat, don't eat etc...

Family: My mother is a food pusher. She thinks nothing ails you that food can't cure. She would freak out if I told her about this. I will tell her afterwards. My 21 daughter lives with her so she doesn't know either. My son knows something is going on but not sure what. I will talk to him about it the day before I go to the hospital. His grandmother works in the OR at the hospital, so she will keep him posted on me. (First husband's mother.)

It's all about me. My children are 18 and 21. They both have jobs and their lives now. It's my turn. I have fought this my whole life. I want to be a healthy person for me. My husband is supportive and I thank god for that. He works with a lady that had it done and now is 100% behind me. Thank You God For Kelly!

I believe it is a personal choice whether I tell someone or not. Which is crazy since I am usually a open book. This is my body. My choice. I would have it done if I didn't have anyone behind me. I know the effects of obesity on the body and what my life will look like if I don't do something about it. I am 43 years old and I Am Ready!

Mary:whoo:

Carolyn~I know how hard it is to have to deal with family and friends that are against your decision, you know in the end it is up to you, you will make the right decision for yourself...it took me YEARS just to get up enough nerve to call the Dr. and make an appointment for a consult. I wish I would have had the opportunity that you have. I have a dear friend that is a Physician and I didn't tell him, I also have a cousin that is a Nurse, they both are in the GI field and I didn't tell either of them, they found out because I told one person and it got around. It must have been difficult getting that close and then not getting the band. The band will be there when you are ready and we will all be here to support you! People here are amazing at holding your hand and heling when you need it! Hope to see (hear) you around the forum!

cool~Welcome! and best wishes on your journey!!

wow that sounds like MY story! I told my husband this morning that this is actually going to happen and he got that deer-in-the-headlights look. Like when I quit my job to go back to school. Fortunately, that worked out (going back to school) so hopefully he will latch onto this, too. He would never say anything un-supportive, but I could tell he has reservations, most likely how we are going to pay for it. I will fill him in on the details later. Did you have a problem getting your isurance to pay?

Today I wrote my daughter about my decision to have lapband surgery. I am waiting for an e-mail from her that totaly puts down my choice.

I have a boyfriend of 7 years who is tall thin and athletic. He has never had any sort of weight problem. His veiw is that people who are obese are lazy and undisciplined. I've gained 70 pounds since we got together. I may lose him over my decision. But, I plan on getting ME back.

Getting me back is what is important.

CHOLLIN THAT IS WHAT IS IMPORTANT. You have so much life yet to live.

Mal, CoolAddict, and FatAttack, thank you for your words of support. I feel so much encouragment from everyone who has participated in this discussion. I really do want to pursue the lap band, and I am going to make an appointment tomorrow!

Carolyn

Thank you as well allaboutme and Sonata, and anyone else that I haven't responded to and thanked!

Carolyn

You go girl!!!! Make that appointment and start your journey.

People close to us who don't support our banding decision are called intimate sabotagers (sp). Often times they love us and are worried about us. But more often, they may jealous of the changes that are ab out to happen. Sisters, women friends & co-workers often get intimidated by how great we're feeling and looking. Husbands/Boyfriends/Partners may be jealous of the newfound attention you will be attracking and feel a little insecure. That's not always the case, but it happens. We just have to know that what we're doing is our choice and who knows better what is best for us, but us?

Good luck!

Mindy

That's pretty much how I am trying to see it. I was just so surprised that there was THAT MUCH negativity! Intimate saboteurs. That is hillarious! I love it.

I guess I am one of the lucky ones because I have not had ANY negativity from anyone. My co-workers are supporting me and my family has been great. It was one of my daughters who pushed me to see if I was a candidate.....and shes now is thinking of giving the lapband a try after she has another baby.

I am so sorry this happened to you/ My sister is also dead set against me having it done. She got my mother upset as well until I told my mother how I feel about myself. I'm 5"1 218 BMI 41.2 at 54 years old I am making my own decision. My husband has done the research and has read up on everything, and agrees that there are more health risk being heavey, then having the lap band that will be closely monitored. My sister does not have a weight problem, she is tall and slim. Some times you wonder if it's a form of jealousy that make family members (female) put this down. Make your own decisions and you will feel so much better about yourself.