I was banded 10 years ago and due to some band issues and then my own issues, I will be getting a revision to the sleeve on May 25th. I would certainly say that I have an unhealthy relationship with food. I would like to create a healthy life for myself long term with the help of the sleeve. However, I really believe that I have to find a way to deal with the obsession/addiction issues and the grief of losing types/amounts of food that I struggle with. I know from experience that forced restriction works, but not forever.

So my question is, have any of you worked with a therapist/counselor to work through head issues? When looking for a therapist, what did you look for? How long did you work with them before you felt you had a healthy relationship with food?

For those of you who feel that you had the addiction issues but have conquered them without professional help, how did you do it? What tools/tricks/skills did you work on?

Thanks for your feedback.

Meredith

Hi and welcome!

First of all, I think you are very smart for addressing where the root of the problem truly exists for most of us.

I have tried to deal with more than one therapist, and in my experience, most of them will say whatever it takes to get you in the door and as a paying client. So if I were you, I would check with the bariatric surgeon's office for some therapists in your area who deal with overeating issues. Also, check with the support group in your area for good therapists - maybe attend a meeting and ask who some of the post-surgical people have used.

Also, if you want to get the ball rolling on addressing food issues, you may wish to check out books by Geneen Roth. You can find her books on Amazon. One good one is Women Food and God, which was recommended by the therapist I found during my pre-op process (and the only therapist worth a darn in this area, IMO). Check out the reviews of her books on Amazon and try her out.

I am not seeing a therapist at the moment, but reading, and just dealing with some of the issues in my head had helped me tremendously. Not to say that everything is worked out, because it isn't, but the majority of the eating behaviors are gone.

Good luck to you, this is a great place for help.

I have been seeing a cognitive therapist for about 1-1/2 years now to help with my Anxiety/Stress Disorder which manifests itself in all destructive manners of putting myself last, perfectionism, inability to say no, panic attacks, and yes -- at times -- binge eating and bad food choices. In order to help with the manifestations, we've had to do a lot of work as to why I'm so anxious and easy to stress. It's taken a lot of work, including learning self-hypnosis, breathing techniques, positive self-talk and finally EMDR therapy. I'd say the last two were the most helpful to me. While I don't come from your "classic" abusive childhood, I did grow up at the hand of some verbal trauma and some traumatic accidents/events. As a result, I was my worst critic and judge -- far more harsh on myself than anyone else. I had friends and some aquantances tell me they observed this about me right away within meeting me. That was a shock.

Food became my crutch in that when I was disappointed in myself, I'd actually punish myself with food. It was a temporary satiation of my favorite flavors, only to feel worthless as soon as I finished eating. Then I'd punish myself more for sabotaging my weight loss. It was a vicious cycle. Food also became the main method of soothing my nerves after a long, punishing day at work. It was my reward for making it through. But through a lot of counseling, I see now that was not the best option. Now, I prefer to exercise or just enjoy a TV show. And those foods that I loved are still there, I smell them when my husband makes them. But somehow the connection is no longer there, if anything I feel a connection that those foods will not be good to my body like they used to.

It doesn't mean I don't still fight the urges. Those are buried deep in the subconscious. Yesterday, I left a clothing store in a panic after seeing my (smaller) flabby body in those horrible mirrors. Across the street was a Burger King. I thought, "what would be the harm in some chicken nuggets?" Then I used My Fitness Pal to see their nutritional content. Thought, well I have to have them with BBQ sauce, and that's just empty sugar and carbs. And I rationalized that I was just having one of my triggers to anxiety, like in the past. The thought of taking my progress off course for a temporary happiness -- that would've only last 10 minutes before the guilt set in -- just wasn't worth it.

I highly recommend therapy, ideally with someone who has helped other WLS patients.

Amanda: I really like what you just wrote about! I am a Therapist and I use cognitive behavioral therapy a lot. You have made a big transition and have used the tools that you learned in your therapy! I am so proud of you! Thanks for making my day. Keep Rockin that Sleeve! Hugs!

I see a therapist, not just for food issues. I think it's an amazing tool to use to help yourself become more self aware. IMO, seeing her is one of the best things I've ever done for myself. As far as my food issues go, mine are deeply rooted in some childhood traumas, including lack of food for long periods of time. Slowly, I am learning to trust that food WILL be there when it's needed, but that's an issue that will take time to get past.

For now, I'm working on one day at a time. I use My Fitness Pal to log everything I eat and drink, which really helps me be more aware of what I'm eating and if/when I'm working out properly.

I am a psychologist and I think the most important thing for you to do is to find a therapist with whom you feel comfortable, respect, and trust not to steer you wrong or drag out your sessions to make more money. I can't tell you how long therapy might last because it depends on how easily you can identify and modify your maladaptive behaviors. I do encourage you to find a therapist who uses cognitive-behavioral techniques as they will be most efficient in helping you change your feelings about food. Asking in your support group or your surgeon's office is a good place to get a few names. Good Luck!

Thanks all for the responses and for sharing your experiences.

I have found a therapist in my area that deals with the whole spectrum of eating disorders and has worked with bariatric patients. I see her next Monday for an initial consultation. We'll see how we mesh.

Thanks.

Meredith

I am a psychologist and I think the most important thing for you to do is to find a therapist with whom you feel comfortable, respect, and trust not to steer you wrong or drag out your sessions to make more money. I can't tell you how long therapy might last because it depends on how easily you can identify and modify your maladaptive behaviors. I do encourage you to find a therapist who uses cognitive-behavioral techniques as they will be most efficient in helping you change your feelings about food. Asking in your support group or your surgeon's office is a good place to get a few names. Good Luck!

I have a question about this - what exactly are "cognitive-behavioral techniques"? I have been seeing a therapist who specializes in eating issues for over a year now, and while it felt very productive at first (I was v. emotional to start off and had a lot to get off my chest), I feel like the process has kind of stalled out. It is starting to feel like I am going there and just saying the same things over and over, but I'm not doing the "work" the way I was before. I don't really feel like I'm "done" though. I know that's a vague term and that maybe we are never "done" with self examination, but I still struggle with behaviors and thoughts that I have, so don't want to stop going. But sort of feel like it's not helping anymore either. Any of you have this happen or any advice?