I have been wanting to get the band now for awhile and well due to bad credit was not able to take a loan out for the band and I have no insurance at this time as I have not been able to work for the last 2 years due to complications health wise and from 2 car accidents which were not my fault.

What I need advice on is this, I spoke with my mom and step father and they agreed to either co-sign a loan or lend me the money and I will pay them back. All was good and I am choosing to go with Laparoscopic Associates of San Francisco and using Dr. Cirangle and I even got my surgery scheduled for April 11, 2006, since my mom said march was too hetic for her.

Problem is she doesnt want me to have the band and just thinks I should do it on my own and now she is giving me MAJOR stress over it, she is now telling me that if they pay for the band that they will not pay for a wedding for me when or if I have one, they will not help me out financially if I need it for anything and if I wish to travel home to Ohio to see them then I will have to pay for it my self. All that is fine and good with me and that is what I said but she now keeps saying cant you just do this yourself I dont want to have to help you, why dont you just let me pay for nutrisystem and you can lose weight this way. It is stressing me out so bad, I dont know if I should go with the band as I would like or give in and cancel and do nutrisystem like she would like me too?

What do you guys think?

Oh this is very typical for us, my mom had me young so she has always felt i was an inconviece and a burden to her and my step father has never liked me in the picture and has always hated that I was over weight, but there daughter my sister is thin and they treat her great, I have always been treated like a second class citzen in my immediate family.

Sorry to give out so much information, I am just so stressed and unsure of what to do and I am suppose to be starting to lose some weight before surgery and all the stress is making me want to eat.

Thanks for any help!

And as for sending her to this board, don't forget there are a few things you might NOT want her to read! There are more than a few threads (erosion et al) that might give one pause.

At the very least, you have to find some way to put a block on all DeLarla's postings!!

If your mom pays for your band, do you think she's the type of person to keep tabs on everything you eat? Will she constantly be in your face asking how much you lost, or why aren't you losing faster? Please take those things into consideration. Having a family member constantly monitoring our intake can have a rebound affect and mess with your emotions.

My mom came to Vegas when I got married with a fat cashier's check in her purse because she wanted to buy us a house. There was no way I wanted that hanging over my head because she'd have smeared my nose in it for life. My husband, however, accepted a loan of a few grand to consolidate some debts from before we met to improve his credit score, and my mother promised not to tell my siblings or family. But the first time she flipped out, the whole family knew. Even though my husband made arrangements to pay his mother-in-law back, now my siblings will always believe that I wasn't able to buy my own home, which is a burn that never goes away. I didn't need her money and wasn't happy that my husband accepted her help, but she's always loved him like her own.

If you decided to accept your mom's loan, at least protect yourself with a contract so they realize they'll have to separate the loan from your progress. Does that make any sense?

I agree with Kare, take you r mom up on the Nutrisystems offer and at the same time get your credit in shape so that is it does not work you have an option avaliable without your mothers conditions/strings attached.

I wuld have rathe died than asked my family for the money if my insurance did not cover it.

My best friend on the other hand has a wonderul family!! when her mom found out she was thinking about the surg she called all the other kids and TOLD them they neeed to contribute so she could have this done. Her sibs are well off and can afford to pay for it withour missing the $$$. Anyway, they all agreed to pay half and my friend paid half with a loan. That is one option you could present to you r mom, After the nutrisystems thing fails..

Good luck and remember, if you take the $ from her, no matter how long it has been, she will always bring it up, everytime you go home, she will make comments about how she paid for you to be skinny....

Take money for band=get healthy

Take health and energy=build your credit, get out of debt, and save $$

Take your $$=pay for your own weddding

Doesn't it sound simple??? Take care and good luck!! Shawn

this question is for vluckey, did you have a good experience with Dr. Curry? I am getting ready for surgery with him. Have you had any complications with the band. Have you had any fills yet, in general how would you rate his service. Where are you located at if that is ok to ask. Please all the info would be greatly appreciated.

Littleone, I'm sending you a private message.

vluckey I have not found your private message, not sure if I am missing something or not doing something right. How do I get my private messages?