Only when it was over did i realize i went on an eating binge today, eating all kinds of food , pizza , muffins, peanut butters sandwich ,chicken and riced cauliflower with salad dressing on the rice i dont know what my problem is i know better another slice of pizza has anyone find themselves doing this at some point in their livesi am so sick and tired of food running my life and how i think and feel, i actually feel a rush at times when i eat is that normal ? do other people get that same feeling , i hope i am not alone, even though i feel alone at times....i can only hope this SX will give me the perspective i need along with the understanding i will need to pay attn to the foods i eat from now on . i hope i dont have to wait long for the SX i want to go back to living and not existing like i am now, i am NOT trying to be negative but i have a torn disc in my back and today was not a good day so if i am coming across angry or negative i am typically not like that ,anyway thank you for letting me vent i appreciate truly i do....?

10 minutes ago, thinblueline said:

i dont know what my problem is

I do. It's a real disorder. It's called binge eating disorder.

It starts with restrictive dieting and the negative self-image from being overweight. That's how you end up binging.

You're brave for admitting this. The way forward is specialized treatment - it works, it's relatively cheap, and improvement rates are much higher than for other eating disorders. If you can find BED treatment in your area, get working on that, man.

I justified it in my head and made it ok to eat this way right now i feel ok with a little bit of guilt thrown in i F#$%^ hate this disease it kills and people think its about just stop eating to much , what a crock if it were that simple i wouldn't be almost 300 lbs and i feel so dirty inside the only place i can let let it out i mean let it and cry is in the shower , don't get me wrong i will cry in front of my wife i just can't get to upset i guess its a male thing and a lot of pride i dont know where i am going with this " Dude" but i know this i have to get a handle on this disease or its going to kill me.

I noticed you had your SX good for you , any complications , if you feel like sharing me or have some advice for me that may help let me know i am up tonight late....i am in Massachusetts where are you from, talk to you soon.

Coop

9 hours ago, thinblueline said:

I noticed you had your SX good for you , any complications , if you feel like sharing me or have some advice for me that may help let me know i am up tonight late....i am in Massachusetts where are you from, talk to you soon.

I did. It took 6 months of focused group therapy to get the eating under control, then 6 months of learning to be weight stable (not on a diet, not binging). Then I was ready for surgery, and I'm now doing my best to stabilize without getting obsessed.

I'll tell you this: it won't be easy, but even just getting started with the right help for your eating issues will lift a tremendous weight off your shoulders.

And another thing: this forum is not a great place to mirror eating disorders in. Consider the fact we have a subforum for plastic surgery ... but not one for mental health. It's a disgrace, if you ask me. There's a lot of BP'ers who exchange their overeating for other eating disorders post surgery, but know they, too, are doing their very best.

We all are. It's just not an easy box to open. It's much easier to tell people not to eat carbs. You gotta get the monster that is your eating, guilt, shame, self-image under control first. It's a real disorder that leads to a real disease. Or vice versa. That doesn't really matter.

What matters is you get help.

Oh, and I'm in Europe.

Edited March 22, 20224 yr by Guest

You are not alone. Binge Eating Disorder is a real thing. You might want to consider counseling prior to your WLS to get a jumpstart on dealing with the mental issues before the medical ones. Hang in there. It's a real thing.

Gradycat i have been seeing a therapist the last 8 and a half years so i know she can help me prepare for WLS i am actually looking forward to the SX it will give me a perspective that i hadn't had prior , i noticed you have over three thousand post WOW you're a busy lady, keep in touch you cant have to many friends right ?

Coop

I have Binge Eating Disorder which my surgery helped half way with. The other thing that helped was Rational Recovery, a book by Jack Trimpey. It's actually about alcohol but replace the word alcohol with food and you're there. It's an addiction.

It took me two years of outpatient treatment to overcome my binge eating disorder (BED). Intense weekly therapy called EMDR, a BED support group once a week, and meeting with a dietitian once a week. Sometimes it felt like a job because I spent so much time at the treatment center, but that’s what it takes. It is a serious disorder and something that you cannot cure on your own. I encourage you to look into treatment or at least see a therapist who specializes in BED. YOU CAN DO THIS!

2 hours ago, suzannethemom said:

I encourage you to look into treatment or at least see a therapist who specializes in BED

I cannot support this enough. I find it somewhat worrying a therapist would let a BED slip for 8 and a half years (I'm sure they are doing what is right, but BED and BED in men especially somehow seems to escape a lot of "regular" therapy)

Group therapy - or a support group, also - is extremely beneficial because this disorder is so isolating, so antithetical to social cohesion that merely mirroring all that shame and guilt in others make it go away.

Remember: eating disorders gnaw at your person if you let them go unchallenged. They hate sunlight, honesty, forgiveness, sharing, self-love. So fight it with all you've got.

Edited March 22, 20224 yr by Guest

22 hours ago, MiniGastricBypassDude said:

I do. It's a real disorder. It's called binge eating disorder.

It starts with restrictive dieting and the negative self-image from being overweight. That's how you end up binging.

You're brave for admitting this. The way forward is specialized treatment - it works, it's relatively cheap, and improvement rates are much higher than for other eating disorders. If you can find BED treatment in your area, get working on that, man.

Yes! Find a decent psych who can unravel the mysteries of food and emotional eating for you! I read a quote recently (from a good book about sleeve surgery) that said ‘remember this is stomach surgery not brain surgery, it will not change the way you think’. Which is a good point….but it not to say that you (me, everyone) cannot change the way we think about food however. My surgery package has two psych appointments before and several after. It wasn’t until I found myself burbling away about my mum, food, being an overweight kid (with a thin mother) did it strike me how deeply ingrained my attitiudes to food are. The brain bit takes work for sure, but I reckon it’s the key to the whole thing, surgery is the tool, but you have to have the knowledge to know how to use the tool to best effect.

I also have BED. I started going to a psych a while before surgery. Since I have ADHD and BED I was prescribed Vyvanse. It isn't for everyone but it helps me to contain it. I also have a regular psych visit which helps to eliminate the issues that I have with food and my emotional state. It may be worth talking with your psych about if that is something you are interested in.

4 hours ago, MiniGastricBypassDude said:

Remember: eating disorders gnaw at your person if you let them go unchallenged. They hate sunlight, honesty, forgiveness, sharing, self-love. So fight it with all you've got.

Sunlight? That got me interested since even now I dislike Sunlight or working in the daylight. There's something that makes Sunlight or bright room not as comforting so I prefer usually working with curtains down in the daytime.

Eating disorder AND Sunlight?

Though I would say my eating disorder is at the bay post surgery. Haven't had even a single slip or desire to indulge in it. But then again I am only 4 months post Op.

@thinbluelineI can relate a lot to your struggle. Sure I wasn't 300 pounds but given my height I was pretty out there with a BMI of >45.

Like MGB mentioned, it does get triggered by restrictive dieting and mine surely did right after I was done a 2 months of Dr. Bernstein's diet program. Only 2 months and it wrecked good 15 years of my life. I developed eating disorder without even realizing what it was. Intially it wasn't as bad as in I put on the lost weight and gained some more. But as I started my grad school and towards the end of it, ED got severely bad. Depression, anxiety made it a lot worse. I never thought of getting the treatment since I was always on the yo-yo dieting trip. Binge Binge Binge, increased weight, dieting (and wreaking even more of my metabolism) and the loop continued over years. This did right till my pre-Op diet phase.

Midnight binging while everyone's sleep behind the closed door was my jam. It's of course horrible a cycle. But food brings comfort and kicks your happy hormones. Hence the contineud cycle. It is an ADDICTION. And you should get the help.

If you haven't gotten the help or the help given isn't enough, I'll say surgery does help. That's my personal experience. Everyone is different, because everyone functions differently along with their bodies. So it isn't hopeless to think surgery won't work. Even with full on BED, it has worked for me. But for some, they require therapy. May be down the line year or two post-Op I may need it too.

All I am saying is that surgery helps controlling your urges, hormones and desire of binging. It cuts down on the constant 'I wanna eat this eat that, what more can I have tomorrow, what should I eat in the night, what restaurants are open, google browsing' etc etc etc. The cycle does break. So stay optimistic and go with a positive mindset that surgery will help control your BED.

And if you wanna make sure you're in control of BED before surgery, try therapy like others suggested. You have to do what will help you on a success trip. Hoping you get to break away from this 'food horror' cycle. ❤️

I find it very interesting that someone with BED or any eating disorder would be approved for bariatric surgery. I was not allowed the surgery unless my eating disorder was under control. I was questioned repeatedly by the psychologist and had to take an exam on my current and past eating habits. They (the team) want to make sure you are in control and have healthy eating habits before surgery to help you be successful after surgery.

4 hours ago, DaisyAndSunshine said:

Midnight binging while everyone's sleep behind the closed door was my jam

If anyone out there is resonating with this, you should know you can actually live a life where it doesn't happen anymore to you.

Thanks for sharing, D&S.

4 hours ago, DaisyAndSunshine said:

Sunlight? That got me interested since even now I dislike Sunlight or working in the daylight. There's something that makes Sunlight or bright room not as comforting so I prefer usually working with curtains down in the daytime.

Well, sunlight as in both 'being outside' (shame and guilt tend to isolate people inside) and figuratively (eating disorders have a way of wanting to be hidden to thrive).

@thinblueline - you've taken a big step opening up about this.