I am getting banded in 18 days. I have been researching this for over a year and have met with multiple doctors before going ahead with this.

My best friend is not supportive at all. She is staying with my husband and I so I am dealt with her negativism every day. Some people say because she used to always be bigger then me and then i gained and she lost so now shes smaller, that she is jealous. I hope that is not the case but her attitude about it is borderline mean in my opinion.

She works at my (primary) doctor's office and is his assistant. When i needed paperwork from him she took her time and blamed the doctor. She makes a point of pointing out every patient they have with the lapband that has had complications. and some bypass patients who have died. I find it hard to believe that there isn't one of their patients with a success story. She makes sure to tell me every time i get excited. I was telling my mother in law the risks of dying during surgery, which were primary related to having surgery itself not the lapband. Those complications could happen with any surgery. But she made a point of telling me I could easily die.

Tonight she really upset me. I am in my last supper stage and eating my faves I know I wont be able to have again since I don't have to start liquids for another week. I had tacos tonight and i had 2 leftover and said I would eat them for breakfest. She looked at me and said she didn't think I would have the will power to do this and that I don't understand what to eat. That if I eat 2oz it has to be a healthy 2oz not 2oz of crap. I know this! I have done the research, she hasn't! I just looked at her and said I wish you would be more supportive and not so negative and she replied its hard to be supporitve when I disagree. And she made a point of telling me how a client came in with the band and has gained weight and has had complications. and the woman's mother came with her and lost 50lbs in a month from portion control and excercise (i think 50lbs in a month is a stretch...)

She says that she doesnt agree with it. That it is an easy way out and I just am lazy and don't want to work. (Shes a little bigger too). Does anyone else think this is mean? Have you guys had similar experiances? And if so how do you handle them? Amd I just overreacting? I would really appreciate some advice or personal experiances because beside my husband, and sister she is one of the most important people to me. So I would appreciate her support, besides this issue she is the best bestfriend ever.

:help:

Thank you everyone for all of your support, We hav finally had it out and are still friends. In her mind she "supports" me by being with me helping me recover after. She says I knew she disagreed with it. I consider support what you guys are giving me. You guys make me feel good with all your advice, and warm thoughts. My DH read this post and was touched by how wonderful and caring you all are. I am getting banded in 3 days and I cannot wait! I will update you on my surgery and It really helps to have great people like all of you who are so positive and inspiring. Thank you all!:eek:

Good luck with your surgery. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Can't wait to hear how you're doing once you're in bandland!

I just want to add.. because it looks like you made peace and the woman is staying...when she says ANYTHING negative, at all...try not to feed into her.

Ask her what's the point of her message? Does she want you to know she doesn't agree? you know that and she's being redundant.

I guess my point is if you can turn it around on her, and make her defend herself maybe she'll shut her mouth before speaking next time.

And I'm happy you shared the posts with your husband, because he too needs to speak up in your defense when he hears the woman talk negative and he needs to be aware that she's probably going to push up on him...

Trust me she will, she has no boundaries. Her job, your feelings...your man is next.

Better yet, have her read these posts. hehehe..