I'm tired, I miss eating, I am questioning my decision and I'm trying to be positive but tonight sadness, regret and loneliness is taking over. I'm walking trying to get the gas pain down while I'm crying uncontrollably and feeling so down on myself. I hate this recovery. I thought I could toughen through it but I can't. I want this out! I can't see past the pain! I miss my boyfriend who I can't talk to about this bc he didn't support it to begin with, and I can't stop reading about all the complications and problems people still have, months later! I swear I am this close to just giving this up. Maybe it's not for me. Help!!!

Is there anyone else you can talk to? I haven't had mine yet but I can imagine what you r going through.

KatieDee it is normal to be emotional at this point, but u are soo doing a wonderful thing by bettering your life! You had to have thought this out and made the decision to get the band. It is all gonna be worth it. Many people have success, stay away from the negative. I am a little ahead if you and I also had a melt down around the same time as you and I PROMISE it gets better!!! Take your pain meds and gas X. Everyday will get better.

I'm tired' date=' I miss eating, I am questioning my decision and I'm trying to be positive but tonight sadness, regret and loneliness is taking over. I'm walking trying to get the gas pain down while I'm crying uncontrollably and feeling so down on myself. I hate this recovery. I thought I could toughen through it but I can't. I want this out! I can't see past the pain! I miss my boyfriend who I can't talk to about this bc he didn't support it to begin with, and I can't stop reading about all the complications and problems people still have, months later! I swear I am this close to just giving this up. Maybe it's not for me. Help!!![/quote']

I haven't gotten to your part of the surgery yet so I can't offer a lot of help to you. But I will say that I'm so sorry that your man isn't there for you wether he wanted you to get it or not its your body an he should love you enough to be thee for you during this time that you need him the most this is part of a relationship give am take good and bad. I have been married 21 years an have had alot medical surgeries an I am a big baby for pain an he was right beside me the whole time I needed him most for the emotional support. I can't even imagine this without him right beside me. You need him now even if only for emotional support an this is probly a big stress on top of the pain an aggravation you are having. I am so sorry all I can do is offer my prayers to you that God will help you. ( if you don't beleive in prayer I'm sorry if this offended you )

Stay positive! I was crying myself after my boss had me scared... Then I thought.. What the heck would she know about it? Girl we are all here with you... I don't know you personally but would give you my number and we could just chat!

Look at this change in 16 weeks. SO BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO BE. You got this.

You will be sooo happy in a few weeks that you did that!!

Hang in there and definitely stop reading all the negatives that people post. That will not help you feel better...only worse. Get a band buddy and get some rest...We are all here for you!

I don't think we could find better friends than the people on this sight different ones have already been here done this..... What better support to have someone already knowing the struggles

Remember that the anesthesia had the side effect of depression. Im putting Milax in my Water to help with the gas. Take pain meds without hesitation. It's really hard if you don't have someone support by your side. This is a great site but it doesn't substitute human contact. I'm sorry you are having it so hard. Call your surgeon tomw and maybe he can help with a prescription. Good luck hon.

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I haven't gotten to your part of the surgery yet so I can't offer a lot of help to you. But I will say that I'm so sorry that your man isn't there for you wether he wanted you to get it or not its your body an he should love you enough to be thee for you during this time that you need him the most this is part of a relationship give am take good and bad. I have been married 21 years an have had alot medical surgeries an I am a big baby for pain an he was right beside me the whole time I needed him most for the emotional support. I can't even imagine this without him right beside me. You need him now even if only for emotional support an this is probly a big stress on top of the pain an aggravation you are having. I am so sorry all I can do is offer my prayers to you that God will help you. ( if you don't beleive in prayer I'm sorry if this offended you )

I wanted to offer prayer as well, but wasn't sure. Thanks for stepping up and out.

Katie, I was exactly where you are two and half years ago. Those feelings are normal, it is called grief. your grief for food is just as normal as grieving the death of a person or event in your life. Food was a big part of all of our lives. I guarentee you, you will get through this phase if you remain strong and focused. It is Ok to do a little self pitty but may I suggest you use that energy for postive attributions. To be thin you must think thin and you must be positive. This journry is by far not easy, the journey has it's ups and downs and many obstacles along the track but if you remain focused and strong you will be fine.

Check out my profile of my before and after, the band works, it you work the band and are willing to change your life.

Good luck to you, I know you can do this and really change your life.

Katie' date=' I was exactly where you are two and half years ago. Those feelings are normal, it is called grief. your grief for food is just as normal as grieving the death of a person or event in your life. Food was a big part of all of our lives. I guarentee you, you will get through this phase if you remain strong and focused. It is Ok to do a little self pitty but may I suggest you use that energy for postive attributions. To be thin you must think thin and you must be positive. This journry is by far not easy, the journey has it's ups and downs and many obstacles along the track but if you remain focused and strong you will be fine.

Check out my profile of my before and after, the band works, it you work the band and are willing to change your life.

Good luck to you, I know you can do this and really change your life.[/quote']

I think this is some of the root of my sadness. My whole life i have had food by my side. Every emotion celebration and human contact involves food. Now that I have all these emotions there is nothing to do with them then BE with it. And I hate it.

I am missing the one thing that helped me through any sadness I had.

it's a lot to process... It can be rough today is when I kind of fell to.. I am craving tacos like no other. Beside us on here do you have others that are there to support you? Although we are not there in person we are going through the same issues I different ways. You already took the first step in putting yourself first!!!

I think this is some of the root of my sadness. My whole life i have had food by my side. Every emotion celebration and human contact involves food. Now that I have all these emotions there is nothing to do with them then BE with it. And I hate it.

I am missing the one thing that helped me through any sadness I had.

We totally understand, food always comforted me. I still remember the first argument hubby and I had post band, i use to use food for comfort and when it was not there, oh wow. I had to deal with every emotion, frustration and feeling I had. I was so angry with the band, me the doctor and my husband. it takes time to develop new coping skills but with patience and believing in your self you can do this. You went through all of this to make your life better, you will have some loved ones in your life that support you and some that tempt you. I will pray you find strength to pull you through your sadness and give you encouragement for your journey.

Hang in There!! I am here is you need me remember that with every success story comes struggle and pain! If it came too easy you probably would not want it!!! I am so proud and Happy of The New Me!! and You will love the New You!! I Promise and so Does God and he never breaks his promises!!!

I'm tired, I miss eating, I am questioning my decision and I'm trying to be positive but tonight sadness, regret and loneliness is taking over. I'm walking trying to get the gas pain down while I'm crying uncontrollably and feeling so down on myself. I hate this recovery. I thought I could toughen through it but I can't. I want this out! I can't see past the pain! I miss my boyfriend who I can't talk to about this bc he didn't support it to begin with, and I can't stop reading about all the complications and problems people still have, months later! I swear I am this close to just giving this up. Maybe it's not for me. Help!!!

First of all, KatieDee I'm so grateful to you for posting this. I needed to read this. I'm five days post-op and the reality of what I've done struck me hard last night. I think it came on because I've metabolized the anesthesia and am no longer tired and in a fog about it all. One of my kids was saying about how she loved this one BBQ place we had gone to on vacation in Florida and it hit me: I will no longer ever be able to eat BBQ AND cornbread AND Beans and..... And I had more than ittle sadness over that. Then I tried to focus on how GREAT it will be that I can go to a restaurant and have small bites of things I will truely taste and savor, and still be present for my friends and family at that table, not lost in a food coma or distracted by my thinking that I need to eat this and this and this.

What I'm trying to say is that a lot of my recovery is going to involve reframing how I look and use food. When I made the decision to have lapband surgery, I was also making the decision to no longer stuff myself for the sheer pleasure of it. I'm determined to find my "sheer pleasure" in living in a healthy, aesthetically-pleasing body and being energetic and HAPPY again.

But this takes work. And it is scary work, because it is much much easier to find the temporary pleasure in the food for me. But I hate what overeating, and eating unhealthfully did to my body more.

So much of what we have to do post-op to succeed with this band is mental. Last night, when I freaked out that I will never get to eat the way I've eaten in the past, and then I freaked out that I had this "thing" in my body that is not part of the body I was born with (anyone else freaked out by this thought?) I did a lot of self-talk. I reminded myself of why I made this radical and difficult decision. I re-read my journal and blog posts where I talk about how much I hate my weight and what prevents me from doing.

And this morning my emotions are much more positive.

I think a lot of what you may be feeling (this was my case) is the accumulation of the fatigue and the physical stress the surgery has on us. It releases lots of emotions. And that is probably a good thing, because you can "clear out" this sorrow and start focusing on your transformation.

I'm really glad you wrote this because it made me feel I wasn't alone. Know that your feelings are temporary, and normal, and that I totally get what you've written here.