Are you a fat personality or not?

Not all fat people have fat personalities. I'm sorry I disrupted a mental health thread with this yesterday, I didnt realise and it was inappropriate. But I've got to get this off my chest.

I'm done with the whiny pathetic excuse making marshmallows populating this board. Get some backbone, and wake up to reality. This thing takes WORK.

We all fall off the wagon, we all make mistakes, what is it that makes some of us dust ourselves off and keep going and some of us refuse to admit the mistake, blaming everything and everyone but ourselves?

I've never really understood pre band psychological counselling, but now I do. Some people here should never ever have been banded. Not until they did some serious work on themselves first. Its very sad. But the tool is there when they're ready to use it. If they could EVER admit that they need to change things up a bit.

The band is so wonderful. You can lose weight slowly. You can even do it without exercise. You can get to a low BMI or not, you can stop where you please. You can feel in control of your food for the first time in your life. You can be super strict and lose weight at the speed of light and have cosmetic surgery and be the hottest thing on 2 legs. You can do low carb or not.

For some, sadly its just not the right tool. I have respect for people who decide that and go for something else or who choose another surgery int he first place. But for many, its so versatile. Sadly there's some people who still dont lose. They have medical and physical issues that need attention. They may have gotten so big that they really struggle to move around let alone exercise. They are in real trouble and need help and compassion.

But there's also a whole lot who are just, well, pathetic. They wanted to lose weight but they wanted someone else to do it for them, afterall its not their fault their fat right? So they get this band and WHAT? It doesnt do it all?

This thread is not compassionate. I dont hate fat people, heck, I *AM* a fat person. I dont believe I will be anything other than a fat person in remission. I feel compassion for the plight people find themselves in, I feel that for every single person. But when they refuse to help themselves, it evaporates.

Now, I'm the first person to admit I dont understand much about mental health issues like depression. I know its wrong, but I do sometimes fall into the "just snap out of it" camp. I realise there's stuff like that involved. But nine times out of ten, struggling with a band just comes down to being unwilling to pull your finger out and face your issues.

So when people post threads seeking help and then oh so politely come up with an excuse to every single helpful suggestion, look out, I just might BITE!

And nobody had better DARE so "if I could do that, I wouldnt have needed a lapband". That is quite honestly the stupidest thing that I have ever heard on this forum and unfortunately its been said many many times. If you seriously believe that, you are in more trouble than a lapband can get you out of!

Edited June 21, 200818 yr by Jachut

I only just found the thread that you were talking about in your OP Jachut - I responded here in response to the content of your OP only. There was so much more behind it I now realise!. All I can say is holy smokes! :redface:

Jacqui, I agree with everything you are saying.

For me, when I went to the extreme of having surgery, that was it, there was no choice but to comply and lose weight. I have a very hard time understanding the self-pity and noncompliance. I have often thought, if I can do this, almost anybody can do it. I had no discipline, no ability to tell myself no, I ate uncontrollably. I have a true food addiction. I've had people tell me straight out that the only reason I have done so well is because of my age. That makes me so angry. I am working my butt off--this is the hardest thing I've ever done and I will not fail.

I am very strict with myself and hold myself accountable for everything I eat, even when I have a bad day. I'm not perfect, I'll never be perfect. I eat pizza and chips and candy--just way smaller portions and not nearly as often as before. I really don't feel like I'm doing anything special. My husband is having issues with his blood sugar and needs to make dietary changes. I get so exasperated with him because he just keeps eating and drinking all the things he shouldn't. He tells me, I'm just not as strong as you. Strong? No. Just really determined to lose this weight, get healthy, and live a full long life. I couldn't go on like I was before surgery and the memories of that time push me to succeed.

I'm only 2 weeks into this journey, but wanted to say I couldn't agree with you more Jachut! I've read both threads and OMG! I thought long and hard about getting the band (and had to self pay as well), I knew I was fat because of my choices and needed the help of the band to undo the damage. What I can't believe already is reading the posts of people who are cheating on their post op diets. After the cost, the pain, the difficulties of pre op diets, I just can't imagine doing something that could affect the healing, etc. and then making excuses for it. Will I be perfect on this journey? I'm sure not, but when all is said and done, I'm the one holding the fork, I'm the one feeding my body, doing the work or not doing the work. I get full credit for the good choices I make and for the bad ones. The band is only a tool for me to use for help on this journey. It won't do the work w/o me. Keep speaking your truth!

SheSmiles, Holy Smokes indeed! Whew.

Jaime, doesnt it make you cross when people just write you off as strong? Its not a complement, its an invented excuse for themselves and why they've not achieved what they wanted. They're not infusing "strong" with admiration for you, they're using it to say "you're different therefore it was easier for you".

Drives me nuts.

I did the Run to the G this morning in Melbourne, did 10km in 55 minutes!!!! In the pouring rain and I fuelled my personal best by pouring all the aggression that other thread built up in me, lol. Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

Edited June 22, 200818 yr by Jachut

Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

Okay, now I'm dying to read the particular thread that started all this off.

I did the Run to the G this morning in Melbourne, did 10km in 55 minutes!!!! In the pouring rain and I fuelled my personal best by pouring all the aggression that other thread built up in me, lol. Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

LOL! :redface: You know, you could have used that as an excuse and just forgot about the run, but you didn't. It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to something! Good for you! I'm glad it worked to your advantage!

Congrats on the 55 minute 10km Jacqui, thats a darn fine effort!!!! Poetic justice at its finest!

And I hate that "strong" compliment too Jamie. I'm not strong either - disciplined *most* of the time and blessed with my band, yes. But strong, no. If I was strong I would have been able to keep the weight off the first time I got down to 150 pounds.

SheSmiles, Holy Smokes indeed! Whew.

Jaime, doesnt it make you cross when people just write you off as strong? Its not a complement, its an invented excuse for themselves and why they've not achieved what they wanted. They're not infusing "strong" with admiration for you, they're using it to say "you're different therefore it was easier for you".

Drives me nuts.

I did the Run to the G this morning in Melbourne, did 10km in 55 minutes!!!! In the pouring rain and I fuelled my personal best by pouring all the aggression that other thread built up in me, lol. Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

LOL WTG!

And yes, it makes me so mad to hear how "strong" I am. When discussing the food problems with my husband I know that he thinks this has been easy for me. He should know firsthand it hasn't been, since he got to listen to all of my whining about being hungry and all of that on the liquid diet. I have a friend who has a 40 BMI, dr suggested lap band, etc., and she tells me, it isn't easy for me like it is for you. Blah! This has been anything but easy for me, but I was given the chance to change my life and I'm taking full advantage of it.

Okay, now I'm dying to read the particular thread that started all this off.

me too... i was pm'd a hint but too exhausted to look for it ... :ohmy:

under self esteem under mental illnesses and lapband under social groups lol

oh boy ... found it...

thanks anyway froggi ..

and i agree, i dont think your insurance will deny you based upon your weigh loss

I know the thread that started all this. I have a post on it as well. I can relate both ways.

Jachut, I admire your no BS approach to your life and the energy and disipline you give to everything that is important to you. I really understand your point of view better from reading this thread. Instead of angry to me, you seem frustrated with your attempts to help people that you see as not wanting your help. Funny thing, I wish that these words were what was on some of these other threads. You have a great deal of compassion and understanding about this struggle.

Am I right when I say that a major aspect of this thread is the feeling that your efforts are unappreciated by some of these other people on this forum? I get what you are saying in that regard. It ain't easy for any of us. What's true is that every one has to find their own answer in their own time and in their own way.

Please let me know if I am off base. You have learned some lessons that others have not. Kudos to you!

Isnt it poetic justice when someone's whining and excuse making that leaves them a big fat nowhere leads to success for the person they'd most like to stab, roflmao!!!

Mamma always said, "The best revenge is living well." :ohmy:

'Self esteem' without a valid reason is also known as 'delusion'.

Unfortunately, that seems to be the default mental position these days. After all, it's taught in schools, and makes everyone feel 'good' -- no matter what their reality might truly be.

So yes, I feel those who have dedicated themselves to slow or no loss despite being surgically altered need to take a good look at their lifestyle and actions.

'Self esteem' without a valid reason is also known as 'delusion'.

as is sucess ... errr ... success :ohmy: