ok, so i was down like 20-21 lbs or so. this morning that damn scale said i had gained like 2 back. WTH? plus, i thought i would be fitting into smaller pants. i do, but they are kinda tight. i guess i just thought that down 20 pounds would make more of a difference in my pants? i dont know. i am feeling really blue the last couple days. i am on mushies. i just want to eat. i know its in my head...

i think i just need some words of encouragement, or maybe a good swift kick in my butt.

i am finally getting an appetite back. i am scared to death that i will gain back the weight i have lost before my first fill on the 15. i know this is suppose to be the healing period and not the loss period, but omg, what if i gain that back? i am having horrible head games with myself! why cant i get past this? this is so much more a head thing then i expected! any tips on what to do to get past it?

i had my follow up appointment at the doctor's office yesterday and i have "officially" lost 12.8 pounds. i'm really proud because i have definately had weak moments. i try to counteract them, but that sets up a whole new thread of bad behaviors.

i was talking to dh last night..and i was telling him that i couldn't beleive that he couldn't see a difference (i can). then i was telling him that i have already lost in 2 weeks what i spent a month trying to lose crash dieting and exercising a few months back.

we decided that the weight loss i had when exercising was way more noticeable. i agree with him completely and i think i was even down in smaller pants. i think the weight loss that i have had after surgery has been a lot of Fluid and i'm sure a lot of it is internal. therefore, it makes sense that the other weight loss was more noticeable.

i can feel that the weight is off of me in my whole body (although my stomach still seems to be a bit swollen). it's weird, i wake up and stretch, and i can tell that i have lost weight by the way my skin feels on me. i think that has to do with having an eating disorder when i was younger...people with eating disorder's learn to "read" their bodies because scales are normally taken away.

but..needless to say i'm back to Curves to get that bod that i want. i also told dh that i feel TREMENDOUSLY better since surgery. this is the first time in a year that i have gone 2 weeks without a migraine or all over body pains (from fibromyalgia)..i'm still struggling with my blood sugar, but my bp is down and i feel wonderful. exercise can only make this that much better.