Littlefoot

(My apologies that I copied this from my Intro post! :))

I was banded on 5/21. I did a 10 day "liquid" diet prior, but actually it allowed fruit and cottage cheese, so I didn't suffer too much.

Between my 10 day prior diet and the week after, I lost 16lbs. It seems like I've leveled out, but I'm struggling with a lot of mental battles.

For context, I lost 25 lbs before surgery on my own across 4 months. I needed to know I could do it and I made a lot of small lifestyle changes. The dietician visits helped more than I expected to show me what I was doing wrong (I was mostlyl on track, but my portion sizes were out of control.) Visiting with the counselor for the psych eval helped a lot too. I plan to keep visiting her to help me reprogram my internal "voices" and messages that I choose to believe. My intent for the band was to help me to slow down my eating, to be a reinforcement to help me continue to take off more weight and to help me keep it off.

I am finding that post surgery I am struggling with a lot of mental battles and being aware of that is half the battle. It seems that before surgery everything was my choice. Now I have a ton of restrictions on me and it "feels" like I have no choice. I'm a little rebellious and struggle with being told I can't do something. I find myself struggling with desires and cravings that I didn't have for over 6 months prior to surgery. I'm trying to figure out where all of this is coming from. I will overcome it, but it's just frustrating right now. It doesn't help that I feel like I could use a fill RIGHT NOW and I have two more weeks to go.

From the day I first had my consult with my doctor I am down 40 lbs (started at 230lbs at 5'1"). I was on a pattern of gaining 30lbs every 10 years. It was creeping up and I was going to be at 300 by the time I was 50. I am glad to have this forum. It helps so much to find others feeling or experiencing similar questions or frustrations. It's just nice to know I'm not alone in what I'm dealing with. There doesn't seem to be a normal experience...everyone is unique in how they heal, how they adjust, and how long it takes. And that is very freeing to know.

I do need to get plugged in to a support group, just to talk to others in person who are also going through "stuff". Sometimes it just helps to hear others' problems or struggles. They bring my own into perspective.

Regarding the surgery, I've had a lot of surgeries on my knees, feet, ankle, carpal tunnel, etc...so surgery wasn't a big deal to me. The anesthesiologist is my favorite doctor (next to my lapband doc). ;) It took an hour to hour and a half. I had 5 incisions on my stomach, 4 that were maybe 1/4 inch, those are the laproscopic incisions and one that was 2 inches about mid mass. It would have all been healed by about the 10 day mark if I hadn't had an allergic reaction to the adhesive. They put tape over each wound. The portion of skin covered by tape reacted and looked as if I had poison ivy. So the 2nd week of healing I was "overcoming" the itching from THAT.

I didn't need any pain killers. I went home and slept the day of surgery. The day after (that would be Day 2) I felt like I had done 1300 situps and could barely roll out of bed. I had to have help getting up. Day 3, I could roll out of bed, but when my skin shifted and moved my wounds, it kind of hurt, but just the area around the wounds. By Day 4, I could roll out of bed fine and by Day 5, I felt fairly normal. Internally, I can kind of feel where the port is if I rub around. You can't feel where the band is. The first two weeks, my insides were sore/tender... I kept thinking it's not normal to feel my guts. They were just sore and if I moved wrong, it would be tender. But now over 3 weeks out, I'm back to normal. No tenderness. My scars itch some, but I'm dealing.

It did take a good 2 1/2 weeks for the swelling in my stomach to go down.

I really expected to have the restricted-I-can-hardly-get-500calories-a-day-down-feeling my friends had. But I don't. So I can't wait for my first fill. I loved the weight loss prior to and right after surgery - it's major incentive to get down to my goal weight. If I feel this good at 190 lbs, then I'm going to feel AWESOME in another 30lbs and another 30 after that, I I don't think I'm going to be one of those that drops tons fast like so many I've heard do. I expect it will be around 1-2 lbs a week of weight loss. But that's ok. The longer it takes, the longer it will stay off. I just want consistency and to keep it off. I'm not going down this road again. Fat is not who I am. I refuse to keep filling that role. (Pun intended :blink: )

Two friends who I speak of, a husband and wife, it has taken her 2 years to lose 120 lbs, but for a long time was wasn't taking in the minimum required calories so I think her body has fought her on the weight loss, although there is nothing wrong with her timeline. I think she wants to lose another 20-30 lbs. Her husband reached his goal weight of 130 lbs lost afer surgery within 11 months.

Ladies, men typically lose weight faster. FYI. Don't bother being jealous. We're just different.

For those researching this, I wish you luck in your search. It is a lifetime commitment and a major lifestyle change. But don't do it because you want the band to do it for you. It is not a "crutch" as many like to call it. It is a reinforcement mechanism that you CAN ignore and bypass by stretching out your "new stomach"... Many do fail because they aren't committed. Know your weaknesses and don't rationalize. You have to want it and to want to do the changes required to get it done and keep it "done". And most of all, being overweight is symptom and not just of a lack of discipline, there are internal messages or voices that you likely listen to that you need to address, deal with and reprogram if you're going to make lasting change. People do what they do because they rationalize or justify it.

And I think I just pep-talked myself into a better place. LOL! Hey take care and feel free to drop me a line if you have questions or comments!!!