barngal2003

So it's been awhile since I've been on lapbandtalk but, a lot has happened since I originally got my band in dec '08. I guess I was just hoping to hear that I'm not alone in my struggles with my band..or as my family calls it, my monster. I was banded in dec '08 as I said, and until july of '09 all was well, great restriction and weight loss with appropriate fills along the way. I found myself in the ER one night in late july '09 due to a stuck tomato piece...and sadly it's been downhill from there. Slowly over time, more and more types of foods just would not go down, we tried over the months to take fluid out, or remove all fluid from my band but....it was to noavail. Finally, at the end of Sept '10, I'd had enough. I couldn't eat , period, flat liquids were all that went through for me, my weightloss had stopped and I was in constant pain. My surgeon finally figured out that I had slipped. So much so that my stomach was squished up into my liver and had attached itself there....my pouch had been 3 times bigger than what it was supposed to have been. Too bad I'm a selfpay because I now owe the hospital more money than I can comprehend for that surgery. So here I am, several months out from my repositioning, and 20 pounds heavier, back up to 5.5mL in a 10mL band and....restriction is ok I guess, far from perfect though, weightloss is almost non-existent. I'm not gaining, but not really losing either. I'm like 50 pounds from my goal, my dietician says I'm doing everything correctly, the exercise is definitely there. infact more so than it was when i first got the band....unfortunately though, i can't say i'm glad i got the band...or not. i hurt when i eat, i still frequently have to vomit, or ...more like wretch..i guess. i can't eat within 2 hours of bed because i would probably puke in my sleep and asperate it. (done that several times) i also can't take pills which makes life even more interesting......like I said, I guess I'm just hoping to hear that someone else has had these problems too. Or maybe even a little ray of hope that maybe I can still take off my remaining weight.

So, if you've read any of my past posts you know that back in july i got a piece of tomato stuck in my band. They deflated my band completely, and then after about a month they started filling it back. When i got the tomato stuck, my band had 5.5 cc in it. I had fantastic restriction! I was losing at an awesome pace! Things were great!...after the tomato not so much they filled me to 5.8 cc and still i had next to know restriction. Despite my best effort to try to hold back myself. Apparently 5.8 is just a little too tight for now. At random, or so i thought, my band swelled shut. I found myself again in the er of my surgeon's hospital again having all of my fluid removed. That was just before Christmas of '09, right before my bandiversary numero uno, and went back this past week to find that at the very least my band has migrated.....meaning when they put it in at a 45 degree angle i.e. / (ok maybe not that high but you get the idea) it currently sits at _ (completely horizontal). :thumbup: They suspect when I got the tomato stuck i set things in motion for the slippage / migration. yeah, i did a lot of vomiting, or at least dry heaving during that time and the week prior to my "random" swelling i had also had some awkward vomiting...my surgeon has ordered an upper gi, and to meet with him this week to decide on what to do...meaning surgery to reposition my band. 2 thoughts....1..is it bad that I want to have it repositioned? I mean, I've been thinking that I've blown it, because since july i have lost maybe 5 pounds. I feel like ok, it that's what's wrong, reposition it, (i now have insurance so fix it!) and let me get back to losing my weight that i've waited my whole life to get rid of. I know it's a surgery but it's worth it if i can get back on track. while 90 pound loss is great, i'm not prepared to stop here. So i guess I'm really hoping that dr. schirmer will decide it needs to be fixed. Second thought...what if he doesn't? what if he decides that it shouldn't be fixed? I haven't been eating to the point of "whoa i ate way to much" or even to the point of vomiting. what do i do then? am i doomed to slowly regain my weight because of my band remaining empty? or struggle to lose 1 pound every 2 months kind of thing? I don't know that I could honestly not cry if he told me he doesn't want to operate to fix it. when he's already told me basically that i'm going to need the surgery and that my band has definitely moved....:smile2: I guess at this point all i can do is sit and wait till after my upper gi and see what he has to say. i just hope that regardless i'm happy and healthy. whatever the result.

So, if you've read any of my past posts you know that back in july i got a piece of tomato stuck in my band. They deflated my band completely, and then after about a month they started filling it back. When i got the tomato stuck, my band had 5.5 cc in it. I had fantastic restriction! I was losing at an awesome pace! Things were great!...after the tomato not so much they filled me to 5.8 cc and still i had next to know restriction. Despite my best effort to try to hold back myself. Apparently 5.8 is just a little too tight for now. At random, or so i thought, my band swelled shut. I found myself again in the er of my surgeon's hospital again having all of my fluid removed. That was just before Christmas of '09, right before my bandiversary numero uno, and went back this past week to find that at the very least my band has migrated.....meaning when they put it in at a 45 degree angle i.e. / (ok maybe not that high but you get the idea) it currently sits at _ (completely horizontal). They suspect when I got the tomato stuck i set things in motion for the slippage / migration. :ohmy: yeah, i did a lot of vomiting, or at least dry heaving during that time and the week prior to my "random" swelling i had also had some awkward vomiting...my surgeon has ordered an upper gi, and to meet with him this week to decide on what to do...meaning surgery to reposition my band. :smile: 2 thoughts....1..is it bad that I want to have it repositioned? I mean, I've been thinking that I've blown it, because since july i have lost maybe 5 pounds. I feel like ok, it that's what's wrong, reposition it, (i now have insurance so fix it!) and let me get back to losing my weight that i've waited my whole life to get rid of. I know it's a surgery but it's worth it if i can get back on track. while 90 pound loss is great, i'm not prepared to stop here. So i guess I'm really hoping that dr. schirmer will decide it needs to be fixed. Second thought...what if he doesn't? what if he decides that it shouldn't be fixed? I haven't been eating to the point of "whoa i ate way to much" or even to the point of vomiting. what do i do then? am i doomed to slowly regain my weight because of my band remaining empty? or struggle to lose 1 pound every 2 months kind of thing? I don't know that I could honestly not cry if he told me he doesn't want to operate to fix it. when he's already told me basically that i'm going to need the surgery and that my band has definitely moved....:w00t: I guess at this point all i can do is sit and wait till after my upper gi and see what he has to say. i just hope that regardless i'm happy and healthy. whatever the result.

So today is thursday july 30th...this week is been horrible! I have to say if you don't have a strong stomach you may not want to read this blog. In fact, if it wasn't my own story and felt like I needed to get it out there I wouldn't want to read it either. :party: Anyway, everytime my Dad goes out of town I also jokingly remind him that something goes wrong, most of the time it's a farm thing, i.e. a cow has trouble calving and I have to pull it or something on the farm breaks, something of that nature usually...this time not so much instead it was me that broke. Literally. :eek2::frown::hurray: Last thursday, haha exactly a week ago I woke up in the wee hours of the morning with terrible pain in my chest stabbing thru to my back, I mean excruciating! I thought oh crap I must have missed a nut in my reduced sugar low fat ice cream last night and gotten hung...I'll flush it out with some fluids hopefully. So, I did, I was sore but thought if I had just like broths and took myself back to liquids the soreness and inflammation in my pouch and around my band would subside....apparently that takes longer than I thought it would. Saturday, in a hurry I foolishly allowed my self a wrap sandwich, I ate too fast and hung a diced tomato in my band... I could kill myself for doing it. I was with my sister who on friday had had to have a colonscopy and we were in a hurry to pick my neice up from a volleyball camp. Again, I decided to flush it, however this time, it was soo clogged that I couldn't keep anything down. By 7pm I was on the phone with my surgeon's office figuring out that I needed to drive an hour to his hospital which meant I had to go through the ER dept at that hospital and come to find out when I got there at roughly 9pm they were having a busy night. :smilielol5::cursing: So all day I hadn't been able to eat or drink, by that time I was dehydrated, hungry, hurting, tired and pissed at myself. They take me back at ooohhhhh 10:30, and I didn't leave till 1pm on saturday. During those hours I had morphine and phenergen pumped in me for pain and nausea, I had fluids for dehydration, xrays to make sure I hadn't misplaced my band, and a swallow study to make sure after they removed all of my liquid and my dear restriction that I could again swallow. For anyone who's had a swallow study done, you know that means drinking or guzzeling barium, the stuff that if you don't flush out of your system pretty quickly it basically turns to cement in your system. Anyway, they sent me home sunday afternoon feeling like poop, scared to eat because I have no restriction at that point and full of barium. By the way did I mention that morphine and pain pills also slow your digestive tract? It gets better. The morphine triggered a MAJOR migraine so monday I was back in the doctors office getting shots for it, tuesday I had an appointment to go see my surgeon about possibly putting back in some fluid....he decided to go with 2 cc. 2cc!!! I had 5.5 cc!!! Now only 2! I'm scared to death that I'm going to gain weight! He wants to wait 6 wks before adding anymore, till then I have to fight to keep off my precious 83 pounds which by the way I was hoping to have made closer to 93 by then..so I'm bummed there and scared to eat. So we leave my surgeons office and my family wants to of course eat, I go to the bathroom and realize that my barium has turned to brick and that no amount of pushing is going to help me pass it. I compare this experience to having children and have decided I don't think that I want any. After trying on the way home to the point of having a donut of hemorroids..that's right I said it, I'm 24 and now have hemorroids. My dear boyfriend bought me a laxative, in a hasty distressed moment I drank the whole bottle of phillips milk of magnesia laxative....:eek2: BIG MISTAKE! That's great of helping clear out the top part of my system but what about my cement brick? Ever hear of an enema? My dear middle sister decides to attempt to come to the rescue with enemas, preparation H, and tucks medicated pads...I'm mortified..that's about all that sums it up, mortified. I attempted an enema got a little bit of that brick to dissolve and evacuate the premises, but it hurt soooooooooooo badly :yikes: that all I could do was waddle to my room and lay down. It was all that I could do not to cry, or sob really..by the time I thought I could calm down my dear friend the laxative hit and completed the evacuation. Yesterday I didn't move much, hurt way too badly, this morning has been the first morning I've been able to even remotely think about farting, or even bending over, everytime I have I felt like my actual hole was going to fall out. So yeah, I'm pissed at myself I now have no restriction, in danger of gaining weight, and my butt hurts, really bad. Fellow bandsters take my lesson to heart, take time to eat and chew well, it doesn't end happily if you dont.:yikes:

So, getting the band is only the very beginning of the learning experience. In fact, dare I say I've learned more since I've healed than anyone could ever have taught me over the internet or seminar....nothing quite prepares you. It's not necessarily bad...it's just different. I've lost 51 pounds since being banded Dec. 19. Yay me! It's getting harder to lose though, I've found that I have to put more effort into it exercise wise than before. Which is understandable, but at the same time, I'm doing a LOT of physical activity...I go to curves about 3 times a week, work on our family farm 7 days a week, clean our house, and have taken up jogging about 2 or 3 times a week. Yet in the last two weeks I've only lost 1 pound. As far as the actualy band....wow it's finicky! :thumbup: Day to day I know I can eat kraft mac'n'cheese and cereal, like grape nuts. Anything else I may be able to eat, or may not. My band simply does not tolerate sushi :mad:, green beans, brussel sprouts, under cooked beans, eggs, pizza and greasy foods...oh and ham. :mad: While the sushi part really upsets me, the rest doesn't so much, just confuses me....Also most days I end up doing a little "dance" trying to help let burps out. Sometimes people end up looking, sometimes they ignore me...either way I don't really care what they do or don't do, because I know I can't help it. But emotionally, is a different story..I'm losing weight, feeling good, and good about myself, and have a lot more energy. That said, I fear that I've lost my feelings for my boyfriend. I don't know if it's directly related to my band, but all together I just don't know. :thumbup: I love him, but I don't think I'm in love with him anymore. He gets on my nerves, and gauks at me when I'm eatting, and I just don't feel the same about him anymore. We've talked about marriage but, I don't want to get married anymore, and certainly not to him. But I don't want to hurt him and besides I've always been the dumpee and never the dumper..:thumbdown: I just don't seem to know what to do. Aside from that, not having a job, and working on the farm, everything seems to be great. Perhaps things will figure themselves out soon enough.

So, last week, I believe I mentioned that my farm dog got hit by a car...too bad that wasn't the extent of problems last week! I went for my second fill last friday, the 13th, big mistake! My nutritionist believes that I'm doing everything perfectly and that it's ok for me to have a snack in the late afternoon, like nuts or fresh fruit. She also was very excited and complimentary about my exercise routine. However, I was still battling a lot of hunger issues, I felt like a bottomless pit! :frown: So, my PA Ms. Dix decided to give me a fill, but didn't tell my dad and I how much of one until she was done. I already had 3 cc in my 10 cc band, my surgeon told me that would be the largest fill and the rest would all be smaller...nope! She put in another 3 cc!!!! I guess I should've known it was trouble when I walked out of the office feeling the restriction and wishing I could burp....I couldn't eat lunch, it hurt too much, then couldn't drink my water and by that evening I was throwing up white foam, basically just my spit! She had way overfilled my band. I called my surgeon and he said to go back (which is an hour drive for me) to their ER and they would remove 2 cc of the 6. It took forever! It's like no one there understood that I literally could not swallow!!! :eek: By the time they finally got the doctor down there to remove it, and then finally was able to hit my reservoir, I was next to tears it was so uncomfortable and painful! However, as soon as the saline came out, I immediately felt 100% better! :mad2: Granted the next day is a different story, my stomach on the inside was sore, my port is bruised and sore from all the poking and prodding..but I've recovered well. But I promise you, I NEVER want to feel that ever again! EVER!!! Meanwhile, I am left with 4 cc in my band now, I go back in like a week and a half, hopefully if I do need a fill they'll make it ultra small, because man, that was horrible! I've been going to the gym everyday with the eception of saturday and sunday because of the gym hours, and I know I'm eatting right, paying VERY close attention to it, also trying my best not to snack, and I am definitely getting in my water, my thing is, I haven't lost any more weight since early last week. I understand that over the weekend I didn't worry soo much about what I ate but if I could keep it down from the soreness, I didn't eat that differently but just a little, so I guess you could say I've hit a plateau, but hopefully with perserverance I'll break through it soon. I just wish things would calm down a little....I feel like the last week and a half have flown by and left me dizzy. My dog is doing well now, she believes she's a fifty-some pound lap dog, but she's a sweety. My dad keeps pressuring me about a job, and I apply, I really do! I apply for anything and everything, and yet, I never get a call back! Even if it's volunteer work at this point, I have to do something...he's driving me bonkers about it, and I'm trying and don't know what else to do! Anyway, just felt like I should try and write some of this down before I blow up, but back to work on the house and farm....:confused:

So, I'm just over 7 weeks out from surgery and I'm down 30 pounds. :bored: While I'm very excited for the loss, I had hoped I would be further along by now. 5 weeks out from surgery I had my first fill, 3cc in my 10cc band. I haven't noticed much change in the amount of food I can hold per meal, but I am snacking less, or was.....:thumbup: My appetite is inching back up on me. In the last 2 days I feel like I'm a bottomless pit! :frown: So tomorrow I've decided I'm calling my PA, Ms. Dix and seeing if I can get in sooner than the 27th of this month. I really don't want to risk gaining any. Also, tomorrow I'm finally getting to join a gym tomorrow so that should help out, being that the last 3 days I haven't been able to do as much exercise as I'd like to. But I'm excited about it, hopefully it'll help keep my losing or at least keep me from gaining. In other news, my tat on the back of my shoulder, I knew had a little scar tissue which causes you to be able to feel the tattoo on the skin, but apparently with losing weight, I can feel more of the tat. Basically the entire outline now, where it was only part of the tattoo....ugh. Also today I have been unusually tired and not sure why. So, hopefully it's just a fluke but just incase I'm monitoring how I'm feeling....weird I guess.

So as of today, I'm down 24 lbs. Which is great don't get me wrong. :Banane37: But, it's such a slow process, and of course I woke up yesterday sick! :cheatfree: AHHK! So, who wants to workout when they feel like crud? I've layed around all day and done almost nothing, same yesterday, even though I made myself get up and do some cleaning both days, a little taebo yesterday (although that made breathing next to impossible so I couldn't do much) and tonight just some little strength training exercises; no real stressors though. :Banane37: I know I'm eatting less....I don't know the calorie count because my dietician told me to worry more about what I ate at this point, like keeping my fat intake down and my sugar intake low as well and of course get the protein in.....so I have been. I have yet to intentionally break my diet! :cheatfree: (my sister did trick me the other night with mac and cheese, of all things she put sugar in it!!! ) Which makes me feel really good but I just fear each time I step on the scales that my weight is going to go up and not down. I can handle the scale not moving, but to go up right now, even though I know that sometimes you're body will retain some before allowing a decent loss, like go up a 1/2 pound...but I feel like I'm not doing anything! It's like this is too easy, and it can't possibly work....???? That just like every other diet I've been on, my weight loss is going to plateau and then stop and I'll gain it all back and more, and after paying all this money, and going through this surgery I just don't think I could handle it. It's like dangling a piece of bacon infront of a dog who hasn't eatten in 2 weeks...ya know? I feel like it's taunting me, even though how could it be? I control it! It's my tool, the only thing standing in my way right now, is me...even though I'm trying..hard. I'm glad to be down 24 pounds, but I feel like I need another fill, ya know? It's not tight enough I'm still snacking a little and definitely eatting more than what they want me to at meals.:iagree: So what do I do? Right now I don't have the money to go join the gym like I know I need to, I don't have a job, I'm basically just a babysitter, receptionist, farm manager for my family farm which don't get me wrong, I love working on the farm, and so far the pay is good! lol Dad let's me live rent free, buys groceries and pays my bills, but he's strapped for money and I guess with everything going on, I just need to step back and take a deep breath and keep trucking it....here's a kicker, which I guess I should expect, but even though I've lost 24 lbs and most of the times before when I've lost that much you could tell at least a little, this time no one can see it. I feel a small difference in my jeans, maybe a small difference in my face, but otherwise, nothing. Where'd the weight fall off at? Oh well.....hopefully as I just keep plugging away at it, I'll feel better and hopefully soon get another fill.

Hi Angel, as far as what I do to get in my protein, if you're in the pureed stage or phase II then you can have oatmeal or cream of wheat, if you make the cream of wheat a little more liquidy then it would work for the liquids stage. But I add 2 tablespoons of non-fat dried milk to it and that gives an extra 5 grams of protein. Also, I have had trouble finding palatable protein shakes, they advertise these things like they taste amazing, but they really don't! I have found that there are 2 shakes I can tolerate, although I do like chocolate, but they come in vanilla and other flavors. One is the EAS Advantage protein shake, sold in grocery stores, gives 17 g of protein and tastes suprisingly good. The other is the Low Carb Diet Slim Fast shake, it gives 20 grams of protein and is also low in sugar and fat. It gets easier to get the protein in once you figure out where you can find it. Eat some beefaroni pureed, the consistency isn't great, but it packs some good protein, as well as beans and chilis which will give you some good taste and a change from the soups. I hope some of this helps!

Is it bad that I don't know how many days out I am from surgery? I mean I'm pretty sure it's like 3 weeks, and I go for my post-op next week on the 22nd. :thumbup: I can't wait, I really hope he schedules my first fill, because I can tell that I don't have near the restriction that I should. :thumbup: I mean, at first I had some, not a whole whole lot, but a good amount, and now I feel like I could go back to my old eatting happits even though I refuse to. Also I've been picking up on the exercising. Doing a minimum of 20 minutes a day, and almost every day. I've lost a total of 18 pounds since the day before surgery, so I think I'm doing pretty good, but fearing that I've plateaued. I've found that I really enjoy the Atkins advantage bars and the EAS protein shakes. Getting in the 60 g of protein a day is getting easier little by little, so is the water. I just really hope that I can get a fill and continue to lose weight. Also, as a side note, apparently right now the joke that people ask me, is, "so have you wasted away to nothing yet!?" Oy....:tounge_smile:

I'm just over 2 weeks out from surgery and I'm feeling really good. I'm down 16 pounds from where I was the day before my cleanse, and the soreness is all but gone. I still get little twinges of pain in the port area if I twist wrong or if one of my little chihuahuas steps on it playing, but otherwise all is well. I'm working hard to get my protein and water in during the day, and I'm picking up my exercising. It's just been slow because I've had to take this week to move out of my college apartment back home, which was good exercise because I had almost no help. Anyway, I had hoped that the weight would come off a little easier, but it hasn't. At least I'm down 16 lbs, I mean I have to celebrate the little things right? I knew this was going to be a big undertaking and not a cop out to lose the weight, so if I can just stick with it, it'll be ok, besides I haven't even had my first fill yet! Anyway, hopefully my 3rd week out I will see another pound or so come off, I'm going to check into joining a gym this week, a curves and see because I know I need to be doing some cardio and strength training, not just walking and wii fit, although I have to say the wii fit hula hoop can get you sweating if you get into it, same with dance dance revolution (ddr)! I did that the other night with my neice and it was a quite nice little workout. Anyway, I just need to take it step by step and eventually the weight will come off....:thumbup:

Thank you so much Joann for the reassurance, I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way right now. But I really appreciate the support, and yes I will and am doing all of those things.

It's the final countdown! Literally, I've been playing the song by Europe from the Rocky movie...it's fantastic. lol I have 2 finals, 1 monday and 1 tuesday and not only am I completely done with school, that will make it 3 days till my surgery! Sadly, as much as I am excited I have so much to do! Lots of work to do in the lab that I work in, a little studying for my finals (thankfully I don't have to panic about those), packing because I have to be out of my apartment by 12/30 now because the carpet people are coming to clean the carpets. So there is no shortage of work to be done before friday, I can't believe I'm finally down to less than a week before the surgery! I doesn't seem real, I've waited for over a year for this, and now that I am in the final countdown, I can't believe it's actually going to happen! This time next week I will be recovering from the surgery, at home finally with my family, and ready to get a job! I know I know, once I enter the big bad world I will want to be back in school, but sadly money makes the world go 'round and I have to pay for this surgery somehow! So I need a job, preferably a good paying one, but I will definitely take what I can get. I guess I need to prioritize my worries, lol Get myself graduated, finish the lab work and get home for the surgery....worry about the job and moving once I get healed. Too bad over worrying runs in my family. lol I can say though that is a better worrying. Not a panic by any means, just a relaxed sort of, hmm I have to get a lot done. :biggrin: Well, as excited as I am, sitting here writing all my feelings down doesn't get my work done, so I'm going to go head to the lab and do as much work as possible, then come back and clean and pack, one step at a time and it'll be friday before you know it!

The excitement for my approaching surgery day is really building! :thumbup: I'm down to one lecture and 3 exams, I have to finish some work in a research lab that I work in (oddly enough, we do bio-medical research dealing with obesity and anorexia), and also revise a paper for my class. But all I want to do is think about my surgery, prepare for that, get packed in my apartment since I have to move out while healing from surgery. (No worries, I have help to move so that I won't have to lift anything over the recommendation of 15 lbs.:wink:) I know I have to focus but, it's just soo hard! The little scientist in me is soo eager to hear other people's stories...a lot of people have been talking about the noises their stomachs are making, which are caused by the stomach acids and/or liquids that are in the stomach, normal stomach growling is where your stomach makes a peristoltic wave to push the chyme (food and stomach acid mixed) to the bottom of the stomach to the pyloric sphyncter to allow an ounce at a time thru to the intestines. So think, you have just put a band around the top portion of your stomach, the liquids, gas from surgery, and stomach acid are mixing, churning, and trying to make the normal peristoltic wave that it would do, but the band is probably interfering with that, no worries, I'd say that once you get back onto the normal foods, the sounds should subside because it's less liquid to slosh around in there and make noises with. But, realize now that I am no Phd or MD just a biologist who works very closely with the human physiology in research. :biggrin: Now that I have that out of my system, again I'm really excited! I really would like to be one of those people who loses it really rapidly and in like 5 mos have like an insane amount of weight but at the same time, I don't want the excess skin.....Guess I'll just have to wait and see! I'm like a 4 yr old at Christmas! Can't wait to wake up and tear into my presents! This year my present is being healthy!:blushing:

The excitement for my approaching surgery day is really building! :biggrin: I'm down to one lecture and 3 exams, I have to finish some work in a research lab that I work in (oddly enough, we do bio-medical research dealing with obesity and anorexia), and also revise a paper for my class. But all I want to do is think about my surgery, prepare for that, get packed in my apartment since I have to move out while healing from surgery. (No worries, I have help to move so that I won't have to lift anything over the recommendation of 15 lbs.:thumbup:) I know I have to focus but, it's just soo hard! The little scientist in me is soo eager to hear other people's stories...a lot of people have been talking about the noises their stomachs are making, which are caused by the stomach acids and/or liquids that are in the stomach, normal stomach growling is where your stomach makes a peristoltic wave to push the chyme (food and stomach acid mixed) to the bottom of the stomach to the pyloric sphyncter to allow an ounce at a time thru to the intestines. So think, you have just put a band around the top portion of your stomach, the liquids, gas from surgery, and stomach acid are mixing, churning, and trying to make the normal peristoltic wave that it would do, but the band is probably interfering with that, no worries, I'd say that once you get back onto the normal foods, the sounds should subside because it's less liquid to slosh around in there and make noises with. But, realize now that I am no Phd or MD just a biologist who works very closely with the human physiology in research. Now that I have that out of my system, again I'm really excited! I really would like to be one of those people who loses it really rapidly and in like 5 mos have like an insane amount of weight but at the same time, I don't want the excess skin.....Guess I'll just have to wait and see! I'm like a 4 yr old at Christmas! Can't wait to wake up and tear into my presents! This year my present is being healthy!:biggrin:

Well, I went to Atlantic City this past weekend with my cousins, had a great weekend and relaxed before my finals!! Now it's time to kick butt! :blushing: I'm down to 11 days I believe till my surgery, and I am super excited! :biggrin: We joked all weekend about how once I have this done, and get a job (hopefully) because of our comps from the casinos we get free rooms, and most of the time we get really good and cheap airline tickets or just drive to the place so that cuts down on cost of travel, so all that's left is entertainment (gambling) and food, and once I have my surgery it'll be REALLY cheap to go, because according to my cousin Sandy, I can just nibble off of her plate. lol :thumbup: Yeah, I have to say, I know this is the beginning of my life, this is it! I have a dogwood blossom tat on the outside of my right ankle, a little above it actually, but it's the pink dogwoods. I got it in remembrance of my Mom who loved them, my religion because of the tale of how if Jesus were crucified on a tree it would have been a dogwood due to the now knarled trunk and the blossoms that go from white to pink that through his blood you can be cleansed. So yeah, I have the tattoo, and I love it, but I'm really thinking that I may extend it, like make it wrap down and across my foot and incorporate into one of the blossoms my rebirth (surgery) date, 12/19/08 and maybe a few little other things like my Dad's birthday or something, because he is very dear to me as well. I just feel so strongly about this being the turning point in my life, and I couldn't be more ready. I have support, I have the knowledge, the will, and soon the tool or means of doing it and I know that I can do this. If it takes a while ok, sure I'd like to be one of those who loses it quickly but I won't be discouraged if I'm not, I'm just going to do it and prove those who thought I couldn't, those who laughed or stared, the sabotaging lil devil inside my head, and anyone else who dares doubt me, I'm going to prove them wrong, I'm going to do this, I will be healthy, and I won't have to listen to my doctor nag me anymore. I refuse to walk into a casino again with my gorgeous cousin Sandy and have them hit on her and laugh at me, act as though I don't exist. I don't need them to hit on me, but don't scoff at me, don't laugh, don't tease, I'm human too. It's time to show the world who I am and what I can do...ya know? I have one more lecture in my class, and then 3 exams, (a bit much for one class I think, but whatever I'll do it and be done). I go home on the 16th after my last exam, to do shopping and preparing, the 18th I cleanse, and the 19th is the day, this week and weekend are going to fly by, and I'm ready for it. In other news, I really love to play blackjack and spanish 21...those are so much fun! :wink:

Thanks for the comment Trina, I agree completely with you. I talked to my Dad, and he supports me, but he says he's still just unsure this is what I need and as his daughter he hates to see me go under the knife. But you are totally correct that people are comfortable with seeing us this way, and it bothers me that while I really care for Jeremy, that he may not be attracted to me afterwards or the changes we may go through because of my surgery may split us, but I suppose that's part of the gamble. It also bothers me that if he and I don't end up together, and I do find another guy who accepts me for who I am then, will he be ashamed of who I was, because being fat has made me who I am..ya know?

Tonight my family and I went out to eat for my Dad's 65th birthday. It was a good meal and generally a good time...except... My brother-in-law doubts me. I told him that though I am not being banded till the 19th next week (while I have been working on it) I am going to cut drinking during meals completely, and make sure I'm taking a long time to eat, and really chewing my food. I really want to be ready for the surgery to make this life alterring transition as smooth as possible. He laughed at me and told me I wouldn't do it. I don't like what he did but that didn't bother me to terribly, I don't generally care what he says. But then, the surgery was brought up to my Dad's girlfriend, and from her facial expressions you could tell that she doesn't approve of my getting the band. Which I suspected all along as to the reason why my Dad may not fully support this decision...but I need his support. I was talking to my 15th yr old neice Ashleigh on the way home about the fact that this isn't just some little surgery, ohh I'll heal and all will go back to normal, this is changing my life! And how much I need my family's support on this! We both started crying and so I guess even though I haven't been banded yet, infact I still have a few weeks, I guess my emotional rollercoaster has begun. Here's to the final countdown. And praying that I get the support I need to help me properly use my tool, even though I'm determind I know the road will get rough, I know that this is going to be hard, and I just need them to help me through it. :confused:

So, it's finally friday, last day of the week and the last class before my Thanksgiving break. It couldn't have come at a better time. Aside from doing my best to pass this last class, yesterday evening I spotted a knot or nodule on my boyfriend Jeremy's dog, Bailey. I had been watching the area for a rash that had appeared after a tick bite, and since catching things early is always the best wat to do it, we took her to the vet. Good news is, it's probably not lyme's disease even though we're going ahead and treating her for it, bad news is, after aspiration (draining out some of the fluid) of the nodule, the vet feels that it's probably malignant. I've had a past with cancer, a lot of friends and family have had it, some beat it by entering final rest and others beat it with medicines. Either way, they beat it, but the point is, just having a tumor removed isn't a death sentence anymore and for people who haven't experienced it, it can be very hard to grasp that knowledge. Jeremy is one of those people. So, I asked the vet to go on, remove the tumor and as much of the surrounding tissue as he felt necessary to make sure we get it all out, and then send the tumor to a veterinary pathologist who could tell us definitely if it's cancer and if it is what kind we're dealing with. So Bailey had surgery last night, problem is, as bad as she feels she let us know all night long. We picked her up at about 11 last night, and she was really disoriented from the medication/anesthesia, side effect of the meds...incontinence. Yep, all night long we constantly had to wipe her butt. All night. I mean literally all night. She's so pitiful she just wimpers and we know she can't help it, but man it smells and as much as we've tried to keep her in one area and keep her down so that we don't have it everywhere in the apartment, she's a scared and disoriented dog, so that didn't work. Like I said, Thanksgiving break couldn't come at a better time, tonight, I'll be sleeping in my bed at home, 2 hours away. I don't mean to sound mean but she's a big dog and I love her to pieces but, I will be sooo happy to sleep and not wipe her butt every few minutes. I just hope these effects wear off really soon. I worry that with the disorientation and she's now wearing a satellite collar and scared to death of it, I worry she'll do something and rip her staples out. On a different note, when we did get in last night, it was snowing. This morning, still snowing, and my class is 30 min away by mountain roads. Joy. I wish they'd cancel it, my little car doesn't like slick roads, but knowing the university and specifically the professor which has no soul, they won't. The other day I ordered a protein sampler pack from Bariatric Advantage and it arrived home yesterday, so I will be experimenting with that over the course of the break. Also trying to move stuff home from the apartment, and do homework for this crazy class. It just seems like there is always something going on in my life....and most of the time, it's not good things going on. But c'est la vie! I suppose.....:willy_nilly:

So, it's finally friday, last day of the week and the last class before my Thanksgiving break. It couldn't have come at a better time. Aside from doing my best to pass this last class, yesterday evening I spotted a knot or nodule on my boyfriend Jeremy's dog, Bailey. I had been watching the area for a rash that had appeared after a tick bite, and since catching things early is always the best wat to do it, we took her to the vet. Good news is, it's probably not lyme's disease even though we're going ahead and treating her for it, bad news is, after aspiration (draining out some of the fluid) of the nodule, the vet feels that it's probably malignant. I've had a past with cancer, a lot of friends and family have had it, some beat it by entering final rest and others beat it with medicines. Either way, they beat it, but the point is, just having a tumor removed isn't a death sentence anymore and for people who haven't experienced it, it can be very hard to grasp that knowledge. Jeremy is one of those people. So, I asked the vet to go on, remove the tumor and as much of the surrounding tissue as he felt necessary to make sure we get it all out, and then send the tumor to a veterinary pathologist who could tell us definitely if it's cancer and if it is what kind we're dealing with. So Bailey had surgery last night, problem is, as bad as she feels she let us know all night long. We picked her up at about 11 last night, and she was really disoriented from the medication/anesthesia, side effect of the meds...incontinence. Yep, all night long we constantly had to wipe her butt. All night. I mean literally all night. She's so pitiful she just wimpers and we know she can't help it, but man it smells and as much as we've tried to keep her in one area and keep her down so that we don't have it everywhere in the apartment, she's a scared and disoriented dog, so that didn't work. Like I said, Thanksgiving break couldn't come at a better time, tonight, I'll be sleeping in my bed at home, 2 hours away. I don't mean to sound mean but she's a big dog and I love her to pieces but, I will be sooo happy to sleep and not wipe her butt every few minutes. I just hope these effects wear off really soon. I worry that with the disorientation and she's now wearing a satellite collar and scared to death of it, I worry she'll do something and rip her staples out. On a different note, when we did get in last night, it was snowing. This morning, still snowing, and my class is 30 min away by mountain roads. Joy. I wish they'd cancel it, my little car doesn't like slick roads, but knowing the university and specifically the professor which has no soul, they won't. The other day I ordered a protein sampler pack from Bariatric Advantage and it arrived home yesterday, so I will be experimenting with that over the course of the break. Also trying to move stuff home from the apartment, and do homework for this crazy class. It just seems like there is always something going on in my life....and most of the time, it's not good things going on. But c'est la vie! I suppose.....:cool:

Hi there fellow December bandsters! I really can't wait for Dec 19th to come! I know, this is what I want/need to better my health both mental and physical but do you all ever wonder, what if it fails you just like the other diets? I can't see how it can as long as you stick to the diet it's not like I would be able to pig out like now, but I guess even after this long wait to even just have the date of the surgery, I'm getting a little shakey, a slight case of cold feet even though I know this is what I need....tell me I'm not alone..?