Misnomer

I'm on day 7 of my pre-op diet, and that is exactly what got me through day 5 -- which was the first Friday when I couldn't order a pizza/look forward to eating in front of the TV after a week of work. It really helped to remind myself that in just three more weeks I can start having yogurt again, in four more weeks I can go back to having (sf) pudding and applesauce and tuna and steamed veggies (etc.), and by February all dietary restrictions should be lifted. There may well be many foods that I never have again, but that will be by choice.

😮
I'm 9 months out, and I'll admit that lately I've been struggling with snacking -- but all of my Snacks are "healthy" (low or no sugar/carbs but zero nutritional value; e.g., oat bites, sesame sticks, etc.). I can't imagine drinking or having actual junk food right now! I'm having a hard enough time with this much of a slip back into old habits.
Anyway, it's a super good/interesting point that just meeting someone else who's had surgery isn't a guarantee of being on the same page food-wise!
(P.S. Congrats on your engagement!)

I'm just starting to think about maybe dating again. I've been happily single for a really long time -- just me and my dog -- but I know that ultimately I'd prefer to be sharing my life with someone. I'll be 51 in a couple of months, so maybe it's time to get on with it! I definitely have a bunch of loose skin, along with bags of sand where my boobs used to be. Sex and relationships have always been totally separate things for me: I don't look either my age or my weight, so these days I could most likely attract someone casually, but I don't know if I'd want to given that I look so different with clothes on. I don't plan to ever wear a corset or serious compression garments, but even simple jeans and a bra hide a lot of sins...LOL! I guess I'd be ok with waiting for the physical part. I think I might actually mention the surgery in my dating profile: I tend to be pretty straightforward, and I figure it's likely to come up fairly soon (between food being so integral to socializing and me not being willing to drink yet). I wouldn't immediately tell a guy who I met randomly, but I don't remember the last time that happened...dating sites feel different.

I'm just starting to think about maybe dating again. I've been happily single for a really long time -- just me and my dog -- but I know that ultimately I'd prefer to be sharing my life with someone. I'll be 51 in a couple of months, so maybe it's time to get on with it! I definitely have a bunch of loose skin, along with bags of sand where my boobs used to be. Sex and relationships have always been totally separate things for me: I don't look either my age or my weight, so these days I could most likely attract someone casually, but I don't know if I'd want to given that I look so different with clothes on. I don't plan to ever wear a corset or serious compression garments, but even simple jeans and a bra hide a lot of sins...LOL! I guess I'd be ok with waiting for the physical part. I think I might actually mention the surgery in my dating profile: I tend to be pretty straightforward, and I figure it's likely to come up fairly soon (between food being so integral to socializing and me not being willing to drink yet). I wouldn't immediately tell a guy who I met randomly, but I don't remember the last time that happened...dating sites feel different.

I'm just starting to think about maybe dating again. I've been happily single for a really long time -- just me and my dog -- but I know that ultimately I'd prefer to be sharing my life with someone. I'll be 51 in a couple of months, so maybe it's time to get on with it! I definitely have a bunch of loose skin, along with bags of sand where my boobs used to be. Sex and relationships have always been totally separate things for me: I don't look either my age or my weight, so these days I could most likely attract someone casually, but I don't know if I'd want to given that I look so different with clothes on. I don't plan to ever wear a corset or serious compression garments, but even simple jeans and a bra hide a lot of sins...LOL! I guess I'd be ok with waiting for the physical part. I think I might actually mention the surgery in my dating profile: I tend to be pretty straightforward, and I figure it's likely to come up fairly soon (between food being so integral to socializing and me not being willing to drink yet). I wouldn't immediately tell a guy who I met randomly, but I don't remember the last time that happened...dating sites feel different.

I'm just starting to think about maybe dating again. I've been happily single for a really long time -- just me and my dog -- but I know that ultimately I'd prefer to be sharing my life with someone. I'll be 51 in a couple of months, so maybe it's time to get on with it! I definitely have a bunch of loose skin, along with bags of sand where my boobs used to be. Sex and relationships have always been totally separate things for me: I don't look either my age or my weight, so these days I could most likely attract someone casually, but I don't know if I'd want to given that I look so different with clothes on. I don't plan to ever wear a corset or serious compression garments, but even simple jeans and a bra hide a lot of sins...LOL! I guess I'd be ok with waiting for the physical part. I think I might actually mention the surgery in my dating profile: I tend to be pretty straightforward, and I figure it's likely to come up fairly soon (between food being so integral to socializing and me not being willing to drink yet). I wouldn't immediately tell a guy who I met randomly, but I don't remember the last time that happened...dating sites feel different.

I'm on day 7 of my pre-op diet, and that is exactly what got me through day 5 -- which was the first Friday when I couldn't order a pizza/look forward to eating in front of the TV after a week of work. It really helped to remind myself that in just three more weeks I can start having yogurt again, in four more weeks I can go back to having (sf) pudding and applesauce and tuna and steamed veggies (etc.), and by February all dietary restrictions should be lifted. There may well be many foods that I never have again, but that will be by choice.

I just had to remind myself of that 1.5 weeks ago! I got absent-minded one evening while snacking from a can of wasabi-and-soy-sauce almonds and ate WAY too many of them, and I woke up in the middle of the night feeling the worst I've felt since surgery -- I even had my first foamies. I couldn't eat any solid food other than fruit for two days afterwards.
My ill effects are always delayed: I seem to be able to eat whatever I want while I'm eating it, but anywhere from 30 minutes to 4 hours later is when I'll pay. I'm gradually learning to keep certain things out of the house because I will definitely overeat them -- like Wheat Thins, those particular flavored almonds, and some honey roasted sesame sticks that I just bought (so good!).

Happy hour instead of dinner dates work well for a first date. Sharing a appetizer is an easy way to limit the appearance of left behind food. Even dinner dates I often just order an appetizer,

I think I'll wind up being the same way. I tend to be pretty straightforward in general, plus I don't want anyone thinking that I'm trying to "impress" them (or whatever) by eating like a bird. I've never had any problem ordering/eating whatever I want in front of others...it just used to be a lot more!
Sort of related: I sometimes eat differently when I'm out vs how I eat at home, because I've found that being conservative day-to-day but allowing myself small indulgences when I'm out with friends works for me both physically and psychologically. (If I ever start going out more often I'll probably have to adjust that strategy! LOL!)

Thats true, its so specific. He mentioned he hates really fatty foods and exclusively eats Protein and greens mainly. I was like you and I are going to get along fine haha.

You never know tok. Once you're comfortable, it can be exciting to go on a date. Especially if you let your weight hold you back in the past. It's weird having a crush on someone again but it feels good. I'm also not hyper self conscious about my size. I feel good too.

Sent from my SM-G975U using BariatricPal mobile app

Honestly, I think unless people have known someone who went through bariatric surgery they won't get it from clues like that. Most folks just have no idea.
You got me thinking, though, and I wonder if a few "trial dates" might not be a bad idea. My weight wasn't the only thing that kept me from dating for so long: I'm also a little picky. But I can't help thinking there might be more options these days. I just need to get some current photos!

Good for you for going! 🏆
I'm a little more than 6 months post-op, and while I like the idea of dating again (it's been waaay longer than two years) I don't feel like I'm "me" yet: my body is changing pretty regularly, I'm still working my way up to 8 oz meals and trying to get enough fluids every day, there are still lots of foods I haven't tried yet (like lettuce), etc. It's a weird feeling, but one I'm sure many folks here can identify with! But even though it's not something I'm up for yet, I like to think it will happen eventually and I always like hearing about others who have taken the plunge.

Did you know that when you go to Publix and they have things that they have packaged you can just go to the counter and ask for them to repack it in a smaller quantity. I just learned this. Not sure if you have a Publix or a store that may be similar but I know that I will save a ton using this option because I always waste when it’s packaged for a family or four or even two since my husband and I usually don’t eat the same things or I eat more than I should trying not to waste things. Both not good options. I especially love it that I can go to the bakery for special occasions and get just one treat because if I have three or four at home let’s face it I’m gonna eat them eventually. Anyways I’m not sure how many of their premade options fit into your calorie budget but if anything does you can buy just one serving.

I'm 3.5 months out and two inches taller than you, and I've been averaging -10 pounds a month. My 3-month checkup was last week, and my NP was very happy with my progress. As others have said, your starting weight will make a difference. Any loss is good loss; sometimes it'll be slow, sometimes it'll go faster. It's mostly about whatever your medical team says is healthy. I'm happy with my rate: I won't be able to avoid loose skin entirely, but I'm hoping to minimize it!

You are perfectly on track. Don't rush the process. The surgery is a tool but not an instant fix. And there will be a stall in Week 3 or 4, everybody gets it, so don't think you're getting too many calories or have done something wrong. Trust the process and take it slowly.

I’m having the same worry! Monday will be 4 weeks for me (RNY on 11/22), and right now I’ve only lost 11 pounds since surgery. I have no problem getting enough Protein — 60-90g, right from the start — but I do struggle to drink more than 40-50oz of Water each day, and I’m definitely not walking as much as I should. I know my weight loss will be less dramatic than someone who had a higher starting BMI, but I wonder if I’m on track. I just transitioned from liquids to soft foods at the start of the week, and I find myself worrying (a tiny bit) about the “extra” calories…crazy, right?!

Hold on, I'm about to use SCIENCE!
Your body has a set number of calories it burns even if you are completely inert (sleeping, G-d forbid in a coma, etc.). It's called your basal metabolic rate (BMR). It fluctuates with your weight and with how fast your metabolism is. For, say, a 40-year-old, 5'4" woman who weighs 250 lbs (not unusual for a bariatric patient), BMR is around 1800.
Now add on any kind of daily living to that, which required calories, and you end up with a number called total daily energy expenditure (TDEE). If you're the same woman above and you're sedentary, your TDEE might be 2200; if you are one of those nutters like me who goes to CrossFit and goes running and works a physical job, your TDEE might be as much as 3000 calories.
Now. You've had your surgery. You are not physically capable of eating anywhere near that amount. Let's say you're at 800 calories a day.
Simply by eating those 800 calories and existing, your body will naturally be in a 1000 calorie a day deficit. Add in sedentary lifestyle, and you're in a 1400 calorie a day deficit. Generally speaking, about 3500 calories is a pound lost (this is not always true and can be overcome by Fluid retention, fluid balance, hormonal changes, menstruation, eating really salty foods, Vitamin deficiencies, etc.).
Now let's say you're "overeating" and you're doing 1200 calories a day; you're still 600 calories short of your caloric needs just to exist, and 1000 calories short of what you need for a sedentary lifestyle.
You are going to lose weight. You are not going to 'ruin' anything.
What is happening to you is your body is rebalancing its fluids. That is why the "three-week stall" happens. Every body is subject to the rules of CICO (calories in calories out), and eventually CICO will take over from your body's rebalancing and the numbers will drop again. And do measure yourself once a week! Bust/chest, waist, abdomen, hips, thighs, calves, biceps, neck. This week I didn't lose a ton of weight BUT I lost a half inch off my waist, and I can tell because my trousers keep slipping and I had to put a new hole in my belt.
One suggestion: don't weigh every day. And if you can't help it—some people just have to, I'm one of them—keep a running tally and then pick a day, let's say Tuesday, and average your weight over the last seven days. Then use the average weight to gauge progress, not the number on the scale that day.
Where the thick smoothies and things come in is that your stomach is still healing from the trauma of surgery. But here's the thing—your body will TELL you when it doesn't like something you eat. It will clam up your stomach. Or make you nauseated. Or have unstoppable hiccups until your stomach empties. Or give you the sniffles (which is SUPER AWESOME during a respiratory pandemic, let me tell you). I ate a bite of an egg roll yesterday and got punished for it.
So... tl;dr... don't worry too much about it, especially at first. Feed your body the Protein and liquid it needs, and then move on to other foods.

I had the bypass 11/30. 3 weeks out I am only down 16lbs. I get your frustration! Following everything to the t. Getting in the right amount of Protein and fluids. Was hoping I’d feel all of this is worth it but haven’t yet. All I can say is stick to it and hopefully the progress will follow. That’s what I keep telling myself anyways!

Thank you all for talking to me. I have been getting my Water in and mostly all the Protein. I have not lost anymore weight in 5 days. Actually it says I gained a pound. I'm trying not to be depressed. I feel like I'm doing everything wrong now

Sent from my SM-A716U using BariatricPal mobile app

Don't freak out. Seriously, it will be okay. If you look up "three week stall" on BariatricPal, you will find almost 20,000 posts about it. It happens a LOT. And it's nothing you're doing wrong—it is literally your body rebalancing itself (particularly fluids) after a traumatic surgery. It will break. Mine did—it came late and lasted about a week and a half and suddenly WHOOOOOSH went the scale. I had all the same worries and made a post here and everything.

It WILL break. You will continue to lose weight! And once you're fully on solid foods you'll feel the restriction.

One month will seem like a crazy long time as it quickly zooms by. Time is funny that way.
Make a list. You will likely be surprised how underwhelming your list is. It seems like a lot in our minds but manageable when written down.
Tests and appointments: Each of these are 1) Schedule it; and 2) Do it. Once you schedule it take it off your list and put it on your calendar. The calendar is in control now. Nothing to do but wait.
The list get's shorter quickly.
Supplements: Don't let perfect be the enemy of the good. Good will work. Heck, not so good will work. Just eeny, meeny, miny, moe a choice. It's not like you are committed to your choice for life. You can do ridiculous amounts of research when you have time post-op because of all the not eating you will be doing. Cross this off your pre-op list and move on.
Write down your questions so you don't forget them. Research when you can't do anything else. Presumably questions related to "Should I do this?" have been answered, so the questions you have left aren't do or die. You will have plenty of down time that you can fill with research.
Lists are good if you tend to get overwhelmed.
Good luck,
Tek

It made my nurses smile, and a group of med students by the elevator actually laughed out loud.

My surgery is in just over a week, and I bought this t-shirt to wear home:

I did too but after a couple of days it had gone mind you I was in hospital for four days wasnt impressed when I got told I couldn't go home my sats kept dropping so at least they looked after me , hope you feel better in a couple of days