When I thought I was gonna go CRAZY

And now my grandmama aint the only girl calling me BABBBY.

I love that song, I have had it stuck in my mind, this IS the good life.

I have started eating a little differently lately. My days normally go like this - Crab meat for breakfast, I know this is wierd, but its tasty, and its high in protein, LOW in calories.

Then I like to follow it up with a cottage cheese snack mid moring, a peice of fruit near lunchish. The fruit normally stays in the band longer that the crab meat or the cottage cheese, which is fine by me. Then after work, I normally have some chicken, or fish, with veggies.

I am happy, my body is starting to change again, I am living on my own, making changes. My friends and I have this saying, big shit poppin, and little shit stoppin. This makes so much sense to me. Why would I let myself be tempted by a taste, a tiny little pleasure when I can OVERALL be much happier? I dont want to hate myself anymore, I dont want to punish myself anymore. I just want to be happy. I want to rise above all the petty bs in my life, all the drama and the waterworks, and exist, be, express.

All the sudden, being Angelica is pretty awesome. I've never felt this way before about myself. I'm too good for bad food, I am too good to not keep up with myself and work out, I cant let myself waste away on a couch.

I have been contemplating making the decision of not dating until I lose my weight, and get alot closer to goal. I just am starting to think that maybe it would be the best thing to focus only on myself for a while. At the same time, I am LONELY. I dont really know how to reconcile the two feelings.

-A

:thumbup: