Audrey Redman

Hello everyone. My name is audrey. im 20 years old and overweight. obviously. i graduated high school in 2010 and from then on i felt like i needed to start my own life and find who i really am inside. Its a scary thought that i am on my own now and i actually have to start providing for myself. By doing this it means buying my own groceries on a telemarketers wage. Now, this is a good paying job, however, im very independant so i have my own house, a brand new car and a good paying job (i know, its rare for kids my age to have all of the above ). Now, since i have all those things it doesn't really leave much room for good healthy foods. My foods now consist of canned pastas, ramen noodles and take out. quick easy and simple. and of course i am a 20 year old so you have to figure in the partying and things like that. So now that i have described a little bit about me and my day to day life i will start talking about the journey to the lap band surgery. I grew up in a house hold that was full of abuse and depression. my mom was about 400 pounds. my dad was a sober abusive guy that had nothing else better to do with his time then to beat on us kids and beat the crap outta my mom. Us kids had rules that we had to follow and one of those rules was we COULD NOT leave the table until our plate was spotless. literally. Full or not. it HAD to be clean. some parents would eventually give in but not my dad. So, now that im grown, i still have those rules instilled in my brain and thinking process. I just cannot bring myself to leave the plate unfinished. as much as i try to waste the food i just cant do it. so i will fill myself till i am miserable till "i have a clean plate". When my mom finally got the courage to leave my dad, she met the love of her life (which is pretty much my real dad....he is the one that raised me when my dad wasn't around. and for that i thank him and love him very much.) My mom had the gastrice bypass surgery and lost over 200 pounds. Got down to 180 and still struggles with her weight but will never be that size ever again. So now that that my mom realizes how much i struggle with my weight she suggested this surgery. Ever since that day ive been hooked on having this surgery. I feel like i deserve this surgery because i never got that chance to be the skinny girl or have the nice clothes or anything like that. I want that so bad. Not to be the "thin girl" but to be the happy girl thats why i chose to title this Imma rock this...cause baby i am. Im going to do whatever necessary to make myself successful and to be happy and not let anything stand in my way of happiness anymore. sorry its kinda long but i guess that's what you get for a first blog

So. i too have been overweight my whole life. i don't really have too much memory of my childhood since it was an abusive one but i do know that my mom noticed me being overweight and not as active when i went into junior high which lead to my depression problems. its not a moving around problem for me but then again it is. i like to be outside doing outdoorsy things but i can't do those things because i feel like if i was to do those things it would be disgusting and no one would want me around because im the "fat friend". i try to picture what i will look like when im "thinner". i know that i will have that hourglass figure but other then that idk. I do know that Imma rock this weightloss and imma bring that inner skinny girl out and embrace life while im still young! (20 years old)