jayecat

My weight loss is way beyond noticeable now (50 pounds in 6 weeks) And, ironically, most of the people in my office who have commented on my weight loss (in a good way) are the straight guys! Everyone knows I'm gay, so imagine my surprise. The women just gnash their teeth and look at me somewhat suspiciously. The other gay guys in the office are mostly of the "poisonous hissing queens" species, so I knew I'd get nothing from them except bitchy gossip behind my back. Go figure!

I get the impression that's not the only problem you have with your mom, or the only problem your mom has. That's why I haven't talked to my father for years: if I don't get any positive net gain out of the relationship, why bother?
You don't choose your parents anyway, it's not like you're obligated to stay connected to people who suck just because they had sex and you happened to be a result.

Thrilled, thrilled, thrilled. Saw the post-op bariatrics team last Wednesday. Kaiser defines a sucessful bariatrics patient as one who has lost 50% of the excess weight within one year following surgery. I have lost 81% in 7 months.
This forum is a wonderful resource, with many people who are very successful with the sleeve in the long-run. I want to add my experiences to the pool of information. I plan on being one of the long-runs.
To keep losing weight, I have to eat fewer than 50 grams of carb a day, and stay under 1200 calories.
No, I usually don't get all my Water in. I also drink coffee, with 2% milk. This is the source of most of my carb.
Eating too much is as bad as eating too little. Doing either one can make my weight loss stall.
I can't snack anymore. The surgeon told me that, after 6 months, it's three meals a day, period. He's right.
I still use baby bowls, a baby spoon, and 5-inch plates. I plan to use the small plates forever. I like my baby spoons, and the bowls are still portion-perfect.
Too much Protein triggers insulin, and I gain weight. At my weight, 166.6, I only need 65 grams of protein a day, according to my NUT.
If I don't eat enough fat, my weight stalls.
Fruit = stall.
I cannot lose without low-intensity exercise. 3 - 5 sessions a week, 30 minutes, on a treadmill that keeps me at a pulse rate of 107 (based on age) is the key. I also lift heavy weights twice a week. Throwing a 20-pound weight around does nothing for me. I use as much weight as I can lift for 5 slow reps. I am almost to the point of being able to do a real pull-up.
I have loose skin. I am a shar-pei. But I am a proud, getting-healthy shar-pei. It doesn't bother my Best Half. Why should I care? I wore a bathing suit in Hawaii, and no one reported me to the Skin Police.
Yes, I lost hair, starting at 3 months and it has slowed almost to normal. I ate my protein, took my Vitamins, and I still lost hair. It's based on hormonal changes, just like after childbirth. I still look like a girl. If you are scared to have a sleeve because of the potential hair loss, you aren't a good candidate for the surgery. You don't want to lose weight badly enough to be successful.
I did not have a "food funeral" before my surgery, and I followed my surgeon's pre-op diet to the letter. I've spent years eating crap. Two weeks crap-less wasn't going to kill me.
I don't miss any foodstuff. I don't cry over crap not eaten. I pull my vintage sized 14 Liz Claiborne clothes out of the closet and rejoice that I no longer wear a size 26, like I did back in 2000. If I really, really want it, I eat one small bite. Most sweets that I used to crave now taste terrible. One sweet potato fry satisfies as well as a bag of gingersnaps used to. Soda tastes like chemical-salts-bilge water. Yuk.
I goof. I screw up. I eat too much. I still emotionally eat. That doesn't make me a bad person. There's always the next opportunity to make a much better choice.
Veterans, please feel free to add on. I'd love to know what is down the sleeved road!

What he did is inexcusable, but not unforgivable. I do understand his "resentment," for lack of a better word, with your sickness. My wife developed a chronic illness many years ago, and I would have cheated had opportunity presented itself. I am thankful I did not, and finally made peace with myself when I decided that my wedding vows MEANT something. Best decision I ever made. Your husband may come around, or he may not. I would think twice before I would discard this marriage though, as divorce is not pain-free either. If you have a church, perhaps you two could seek counseling from your pastor. Best of luck...

I want to second what Supersweetums said!
Your fault?!? What a bunch of crap! He had an affair and he is lying to you! And, he will do it again. Your surgery didn't create his disrespect nor disregard for you. No one deserves to live with or be with a cheating, disrespectful, selfish idiot. And he had the affair with a co-worker = scum bag.
Honestly, take a full assessment of the reality. You likely had issues way before your surgery. He cheated on you - doesn't matter if they had sex or not - he cheated on you and showed you a total lack of respect, flat out.
Can you both work it out and create a healthy, loving, respectful, honest, trusting relationship? It is possible. Anything is possible. Will he do it again, it is definitely possible. Love conquers all. If there is enough love between you and you can forgive that is up to you. Do what you want. He certainly is doing what he wants without regard to you.
I dunno...I personally wouldn't put up with a cheating man...unless that is the arrangements you have between the two of you.
Don't stay together because you have a child together. He had an affair and didn't consider how that would affect your child. Do what you need to do!
I wish you the best and peace at whatever decision you make. I do recommend asking for help and support in your family and group of friends. AND, talk about it. There is strength in asking for help and support.
One Love.

In all honesty, I don't think the surgery itself does anything to relationships. If a relationship ends in light of surgery, there were problems long before that. I think a couple of things happen. I think a lot of people are already in unhealthy relationships, but they stay because they have such low self worth that they think it is the best they can do. After surgery, we start to gain more confidence and feel better about ourselves. In turn, people end of leaving their significant other because they realize they are worth so much more.
In your case, I think your husband is just using it as an excuse. If he truly loved and respected you, he would have been there for you instead of fooling around on you. I agree that counseling is a good route, but staying together just for your daughter's sake is never a good way to go. How often do we hear people saying they stayed together for the children, when, in reality, it was the worst thing for them.
My husband has been nothing but supportive and my biggest cheerleader. He loved me at my heaviest and he loves me now. Best of luck with everything and do some deep soul searching to figure out what is best for everyone, including yourself!

I to am sorry to hear it.
All I have to say i that what he told you is just a lie, and excuse to cover his actions. I for one am an adamant supporter of every story having two sides but his story just plain stinks. When you need him the most he ups and fools around on you.
Only you can make the decision of what you want out of it, to heal or not. Otherwise just dump his sorry ass and move on. Sorry to be blunt but I just really, really hate people who play games and lie.
I've been married 30 years and there has been a LOT of times it would of been easy to stray, opportunities have presented themselves or I could of MADE an opportunity. I have NOT strayed as I value my marriage, my wife and the solidity that it gives both of us.

I just got a good healthy dose of that hostility directed at me. I suppose the poster can block me if I bother them that much. I'm staying.

I really don't follow who posts what or what posts/threads are in question here, but at the end of the day, who cares? Seriously, does it really matter? If you get something from this site, or feel that you contribute, use it. That's what it is here for. If someone doesn't like your posts or "attacks" you, what difference does it make? That's one of the nice things. All it takes is a "logout". Wish I could "logout" on some people IRL! And the biggest pain points usually don't stick around long. They either give themselves enough rope to hang themselves with, or they grow tired once they don't get the reaction they're looking for.
I process info fairly literaly, and "say it like it is" to a fault. I have a hard time tolerating blatant stupidity. And I info overkill because there's so little accurate info out there. Guess what... I tend to not be too popular on "support" boards, if you can imagine that. But I'm still here, because there are still things I can learn, and perhaps things I can share. Being able to really help 1 person is worth a lot of "you sucks." Support for me is information. I don't really need empathy or a (((hug))). I need someone to kick my ass when I'm not seeing the whole picture.
And more generally... I'm not a vet here, but I am on one of Alex's other boards for a different WLS. I can tell you that few things get as old, as quickly, as the same newbie questions over and over and over. Especially when there are threads answering the questions pinned left and right, and a basic search would have yielded tons of info. And the overreactions, and false conclusions. Yes, it's a part of the process -- especially when people don't research the crap out of everything they're about to do to themselves... but that doesn't make it any more fun to feel like you're almost spamming b/c you post the same info over & over. Vets have their own sets of challenges and struggles. They really are "at a different place."

Let's face it. Some people just plain suck, and there's not a lot that we can do about it. I think you rock.

I think the internet age has made many forget that behind the black and white words and little thumbnail pictures, there is a REAL flesh and bone person with feelings. We tend to feel safe behind our keyboard and just let the mental diarrhea flow onto the screen without realizing we'd NEVER talk to someone that way in person! (at least I HOPE! Some may still do that....) A see a lot of people say on here "just say this, just say that! Who CARES what other people think, it's none of their business!" Well....some of us have personalities that include tact and thoughtfulness of other people's feelings, and try to maintain relationships whether they are co-workers, or friends and family. It's ok to preserve someone's feelings if you want to. In fact, I'd encourage it! Ok, it's late and I'm starting to ramble.
And Forensikchic- you have to stay, because ....you're a forensikchic...and that ROCKS!!! (I was a criminology major in college for a while;) ) And...you have much valuable advice yet to dispense!!
G'night! :x

Sometimes people don't want honesty, think they KNOW everything, try to take their insecurities out on others and some really don't know how their messages come across... Regardless of the reason or motive behind it, only YOU have your journey... Sharing the ups, downs, suggestions, etc. helps people learn to navigate their own journey... Don't like people who are probably just rude and haughty cause you to withhold yourself from those who need your insight and those who enjoy reading about your journey.
I guess folx aren't versed in how to skip over a thread when they don't like what they're reading!!!
Enjoy your day dear.. and I for one would miss your insight terribly!!!

Please stay--I, too, got skewered by someone who took one of my posts the wrong way and had a hissy fit. I decided that since at least 1 out of a hundred people is crazy I had finally run into the one on this board.
I try to see the humor in people who get their jollies in being "right" on an Internet forum. You'll be a voice of reason!

I hear you, MissMeow, but if you have been reading the threads, then you also see that this is a reminder which must constantly be reinforced. There are so many sleevers who have not, IMO, researched the process thoroughly enough to be fully aware of what they are getting into. There are soooo many threads from folks who post things like, "I'm 4 months out and not losing any weight! I admit I am not eating the healthiest foods and am not exercising, but I should still be losing weight, right?"
So, this type of response is a reminder that this is a tool which they must work. The sleeve is not a magic bullet to solve their weight issues.
Now ... if we could only get folks to use the search function prior to being sleeved ...

Much of my depression was based on a pervasive sense of self-hatred for being so fat. (I was an obese low-carber.) Even after trying everything, including a Lap-band, I was getting fatter every year. My blood pressure was creeping up. Fasting blood glucose readings were creeping up, too. My ankles were swelling. My liver enzymes were not so great, and my kidney function was affected by stone formation. My left knee was going, and my hips were constantly sore. I was clumsy, and was always getting bruises. I needed physical therapy for my left shoulder. Felt 85, not 55. Insurance covered my revision, but based on results over the last 5 months, I would self-pay with no hesitation. The sleeve gave me my life and sanity back. Even if doctors found out that the sleeve resulted in growing a second nose on the side of the face, I would buy extra Kleenex and move on with my life. I weigh less than I have weighed since I was 18, and I feel 20 years younger. Come what may, I made the right decision for me.

I couldn't reach my butt anymore to wipe it. I didn't go in a moment too soon. That's all I know.

DH-Dear husband, usually. When I use that abbreviation, it's short for Richard Cranium.

Ditto.
To hamanyq8 (or whoever you are), I quote Abraham Lincoln as follows: "It is better to remain quiet and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt."

Wow.
This is a surgery forum for those who are looking for SUPPORT in their journey. What did you expect "Loving" husband 1979? That we would all applaud you for your cruel and unsupportive forum topic?
ATTENTION EVERYONE!!! :director:
All you had to do to lose the weight that you have been gaining and losing for YEARS is just PUT THE FORK DOWN AND EXERCISE! Thank you SO much for shedding the light on us. :doh:
We have been STRUGGLING with our weight, not just trying to lose those last 10-15 lbs, STRUGGLING with 100's of pounds. Your wife is obviously unhappy with her body image...wonder why. "Eat healthy dear and exercise". Yes, we DO have to eat healthy and exercise. VSG is not a magic cure. We need to eat healthy now more than ever before.
The risks of her being obese out why the risks of the surgery. PROVEN FACT. Do your research buddy, and don't expect to come into a VSG support group, bag on the surgery and expect us to be soooo happy you shared your opinion with us. We get enough grief from the ignorant A-holes outside of this forum, we don't need it here.
God Bless your wife.

^^^
I was thinking the same thing, BedHead. My wife was so supportive of me and knows she can't possibly understand all of my reasons for wanting this, but she supported me. She is getting whatever she wants tonight.

You just reminded me how amazing, wonderful, and supportive my husband really is. He'll most likely be getting laid tonight because of you. I'm sure he'll send you his thanks.

Did I think I would ever be able to squeeze my butt into a size 4!

Wrote about the whole experience on my blog, in case you are interested :smile1:
http://longsleevesto...er-rainbow.html

I have been making home-made apple sauce tonight (golden apple) for my post-op mushy phase. I learned this technique when I had babies. food can be prepared (blenderized) and then placed into ice cube trays and frozen. This makes individual 1 oz. servings and cuts down on waste. After the food is frozen, label and date a freezer bag and place the food in it. Now you have a variety of food ready made to your specific taste. You can do this with anything that can be pureed; meat, fish, chicken, fruits and veggies, anything goes! I bought a Rival 1.5 cup food processor (under$10) to do my food. Not much clean up and no wasted food stuck to a large machine. BTW you can also make freezer pops (juice or pudding/yogurt) this way too. Just fill the trays with your desired product, cover with plastic wrap and then insert bamboo skewers (cut to size) and freeze. Voila! Now you have sleeve sized Snacks. Really hope this helps someone. It can be much easier to stick with a goal if you have a ready supply of necessities. I'm trying to plan. I know how easy it is to eat a Debbie cake when you are tired and don't feel like cooking. Happy pureeing y'all :0)

I worked out the recipe for the starbucks coffee tonight. It's as follows:
Everything in a blender -
1 cup milk (we buy a milk alternative that's real milk - not soy or whatever and it's lower carb with 12g Protein per 8oz... i had 3/4c 2% left over so i had to top it off with fat free)
1 tbs pumpkin
1/2 tbs light brown sugar (it was a minimal amount so i used real rather than the splenda brown sugar)
1 tbs vanilla extract
1/4 tsp cinnamon
1/8 tsp clove
1/8 tsp nutmeg
2 cups fresh brewed coffee
**I also added 1 scoop unflavored Isopure
this makes 2 good sized servings. here are the stats when i entered it into myfitnesspal (it'll vary depending on your milk/protein powder)
150 calories/9 carbs/2 fat/20 protein/9 sugar/1 Fiber
My husband drank the rest and added ice and sugar to his. I needed a packet of equal in mine. I know the starbucks isn't very sweet and the 1 packet put it about on par with that.

I am 3 months out and to be honest, shakes get boring. I love fall time because it means Thanksgiving foods! Or pumpkin pie... ohhh purrr! If you crave that comforting taste / smell of pumpkin pie during fall, why not try a pumpkin Protein shake. Yumm-O!
1/3 cup canned pumpkin puree <br sb_id="ms__id586">1/3 cup milk <br sb_id="ms__id588">1 dash of vanilla
2 packets Splenda <br sb_id="ms__id592">Cinnamon (to taste)<br sb_id="ms__id594">Nutmeg (to taste)<br sb_id="ms__id596">1 scoop vanilla Protein powder
ice
My friend used coffee creamer to make her shake extra thick - not good for those of us watching our carbs. Super tasty shake and makes me LOVE fall time
Enjoy!